My December
by Libranfate
Summary: When Dean Winchester blows into Castiel's life, nothing is ever the same…
1. Prologue

**My December**

**Summary: **When Dean Winchester blows into Castiel's life, nothing is ever the same…

**Setting: **The beginning of senior year of high school. Mostly stays in Lawrence, Kansas.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

**~D*C~**

**Prologue: **Don't Waste Your Time

**Castiel's POV**

"Why?"

"Do you require an answer?"

"Cas, don't avoid the question."

"Avoidance is a sign of unwillingness."

"Goddammit! You're insufferable!"

A smirk slowly makes its way to my lips, her frustration slightly pleasing. She's always called me a sadist, and now I'm starting to see what she means.

The crisp autumn air casually flows around us, ghosting gently over our skin. I inhale deeply, filling my lungs with the breath of bittersweet nostalgia. My heart gives a rather painful lurch as unwarranted memories flash through my mind. I start as I feel someone's hand wrap delicately around mine.

"Lisa…" I exhale quietly. She smiles sadly at me, causing me to roll my eyes. It really is true. Chick-flick moments really do suck.

I sigh. It seems his influence is still present, something that I have rather mixed feelings about. I've always prided myself in being rather eloquent, patient, and kind, albeit anti-bullshit. You'd think that I'd find someone similar to myself to fall in love with, but it seems Fate had other ideas. I immediately divert my thoughts to something else as my heart begins to clench. I promised myself I wouldn't go there.

"So, I see not much has changed. It's the same old Lawrence I left behind," I state rather disdainfully. It's not that I have anything in particular against Lawrence, per se. It's just…things are sort of complicated for me here. Oh, who am I kidding…I shit here and didn't wanna stick around to smell it.

"You're right, nothing's changed. Sitting here with you, I almost feel like we're back in high school again," she says. I can't help but agree with her there.

I find myself studying my companion. Lisa has always been a beautiful girl, if not a simple one. It's a trait that all of the Braeden girls share. She hasn't changed much in the years that I've been gone, but I didn't expect she would. She and I have gotten close over the years, something that surprised the both of us. We weren't always civil to one another...

"You remember how we used to be?" I ask her. She laughs heartily at that.

"Oh my gosh, Cas, I do! We _hated _each other! We were kids, though. Fools in love, I guess…" she tapers off. Once again, I can't help but agree. Fools in love, huh…

I glance around, taking in the peacefulness of it all. The small café we're at is relatively empty, only one other couple enjoying a late breakfast as we are. School is in officially, so there are no students mulling about. Trust me, I'm not complaining about it at all. Silence is golden, at least in my opinion.

"Have you heard from him?" she asks. She flinches as I glare rather intensely at her. I've done really, really well not thinking about him, thank you very much!

"No, Lisa, I haven't, nor do I wish to," I snap. She glares back at me, but I ignore her. I haven't spoken to him in five years. I loved him with all of my heart, but I chose to leave him anyway. The last time I saw him, it was with tears in his eyes and his hand clutching desperately at his chest. His last words still haunt me.

"_You're killing me, Cas."_

I would say that I hurt him, but that would be the understatement of a lifetime. I completely and utterly destroyed him. He had done so much to make me happy, to make me proud…I fucked up.

Like I said, I shit and didn't want to stay and smell it.

I glance up at Lisa apologetically. I not only caused myself pain, but I caused her pain as well. And unfortunately for her, she had to stay here and suffer even more. He stayed, and she was left to fend for herself in the uncharted territory of a Dean scorned.

"It's okay, Cas. I…don't blame you. However, you are going to have to make amends. No matter what you say, you aren't happy," she says purposefully. I sigh, deciding not to refute her, for once.

I've gotten rather settled in my life. I left and went to law school in New York, pursuing my childhood dream of becoming a lawyer. I live right in the heart of Manhattan in a charming little apartment. I have plenty of money and steady business. Even now, I'm still working on a few cases during my vacation. Lisa wanted me to be here for her wedding, and I couldn't deny her. I'm glad she found someone.

I, too, found someone, and he's waiting for me back home.

I glance down, playing with the ring on my finger. We bought them for one another about a month ago, his idea, of course. I've never been the 'sentimental' type, so buying rings would never be my idea. Dean and I never did things like that, but that was because we didn't need to. We knew who we were and what we had. With this guy, however, he loves physical representations of love or what have you.

I still love him, though.

"So, marriage, huh?" I ask, changing the subject. At her blush, I know that I'm good for the next hour. No Dean talk, so I'll be okay.

I'll be okay…

**~D*C~**

It's nighttime in Lawrence.

Yay.

Lisa and I had talked for another hour before parting ways. It was nice, talking to her again after so long. Sure, we had texted and emailed over the years, but we hadn't really talked. I missed her companionship.

I slowly pull my coat tighter around me, fighting off the autumn breeze chilling my bones. Finally left to my own devices, I bask in the loneliness and solitude. True, I love the people in my life quite dearly. However, I can't fight my need to be alone sometimes. Even with my boyfriend, I have to have time to myself. I calmly request that he give me some personal time, and he obliges.

I have no particular destination tonight, just to walk and not think. Everything around me has a story attached, but I ignore the instinct to dive into the associated memory. For once, my heart isn't held in a vice grip of pain and regret, and I have no desire to change that.

I find myself at the park at some point. I can't tell you how long I've been walking or what time it is, though. As I said, I just…walked.

A smile slowly spreads across my face. I've always had a thing for parks, something that New York is definitely not short on. I move to stand under one of the spotlights near the center of the park, looking up at the stars. I used to do this all the time with Dean, who, ironically, was the one who started me to star-watching. It's a habit that just…stuck, I guess.

For whatever reason, I feel a tugging at my consciousness to look to my left. The moment I do so, however, I regret it.

Standing a mere few feet away is Dean Winchester, star-watching and looking for all-the-world like a broken man.

I want to cry at the sight of him.

Even now, after this long, his face is still set in that same pained, haunted look that I remember. He used to always be _so _happy when we'd stand together, looking at the stars. No matter what had happened during the day, he'd still find it in himself to be completely at peace when partaking in his favorite pastime.

I won't lie. I'm a fucking coward. I want so badly to just turn around and walk away, slink back to my hotel room and hide for the rest of my vacation. That, however, is not going to happen. Lisa would _kill _me if I ditched her wedding, especially because I couldn't face my own demons…well…demon.

I sigh, letting the soft exhale of breath be carried off in the wind. I turn to leave, but stop as that beautiful voice stops me. If only it had had the same effect so long ago…

"Leaving me again, huh. You just can't stop running, can you?" he asks, sounding so tired. My heart claws at itself at the sound.

"It's been five years, Cas, and I can still feel you. I've never claimed to be psychic or any of that nonsensical bullshit, but I've always…_felt _whenever you were around. You oughta know this, so there's no use in running and hiding." I hang my head in shame, stung by the bitter truth he speaks.

He slowly turns to look at me, and I…well…there's no words to describe it.

He looks way older than his twenty-three years, but it's all pain. There is no joy within this man, just the shell of a human being who's going through the motions. He moves effortlessly closer to me, seemingly floating towards me. His steps are soundless, reflecting the ghostly quality his being has taken on. I am utterly and completely wracked with guilt.

"Dean, I…" I begin, but stop, not really knowing what to say. His faded evergreen irises stare blankly at me, devoid of all emotion. Like I said, I destroyed him.

"No use saying you're sorry because you're not. You left, and were about to leave again. What made the difference this time? Oh! I know! Guilt," he deadpans. I purse my lips, wanting to fire back with a slew of damaging remarks, but I don't. I deserve his anger, his negativity. My pride is super-pissed off at me right now, but I can't be bothered to care at the moment. It's time I faced him.

"I'm only here for a little while. Lisa wanted me to be in her wedding. I wasn't going to bother you, Dean. I've done enough damage." He looks at me but says nothing. I take that as a sign to continue.

"You may not want to hear it, but I'm sorry, Dean, I really am. I…I fucked up, big time. I promised I'd never hurt you, but I did, and I regret it every day."

He smirks at me, but there is no arrogance in it. It's formed out of habit.

"The irony in this is that you broke a promise to me, but you go and make a promise with another guy, huh. Such a creature of habit, Cas." I go to say something, but he holds his hand up, stopping me. "I'm done now. I've never been one to hold a grudge, so there's no use in starting now. You broke me, and it's taking for fucking ever to piece myself back together."

The sound of small footfalls pulls both of our attentions away from one another. A small smile lights up Dean's face, which makes me wonder.

"Daddy!" I freeze.

"Come 'ere, kiddo," he says lovingly as he scoops up a miniature version of himself. He has the same sandy blonde hair and tan skin of his dad, even the freckles on his nose. The main difference, however, are the eyes. They are a startling hazel color, rich and beautiful and unnaturally wise.

"I take it you're ready to go home, then?" Dean asks between chuckles. He receives an earnest nod in return.

"Yea. I'm weady." If I wasn't such an emotional wreck, I'd 'awww' at him. Unfortunately, I'm rather shell-shocked, as they say. It's not that I didn't think he'd move on, quite the opposite, exactly. However, I didn't think it would be with a woman, let alone produce a child.

An indignant part of me wants to demand answers, ask was I just an experiment for him. However, my mind automatically answers that for me. Dean is not that kind of person, no matter how fucked up he is…was. Our love was real, and there's no denying that. I do have plenty of questions, though…

"Cas." I look up at the mention of my name. "Come on."

I blink stupidly at first, not quite understanding. I don't move until he rolls his eyes and begins to walk off.

"Why, Dean?" I ask, my curiosity getting the better of me.

"Why not?" he replies.

"Why not?" chimes his son.

I hesitantly follow Dean and his son towards the Impala. I honestly can't describe my emotions right now, but maybe talking to him will help me figure things out. I know there's going to be a lot of shit to sift through, so I mentally prepare myself for a long night.

Here goes nothing.

**~D*C~**

"Would you like something to drink?"

"Only the strongest."

The trip was relatively quiet, save for Dean's son, Scout, holding a one-sided conversation with me. I was too shocked to really say anything back. As I had suspected, he is unnaturally intelligent for a child.

"_You know my daddy."_

"_Why are you so scawered? You'wre shwaking. Twembwing ewen."_

"_You'wre my daddy's age. You must know my daddy…"_

I nearly jump out of my skin as I feel a strong hand grab my shoulder. Dean chuckles lightly to himself.

"Scout has that effect on people. At least you didn't burst into tears," he says quietly. Dean never speaks quietly. I want to just reach out and heal all the pain that I've caused him, bringing back the old Dean that I grew to know and love. I sigh, deciding to move things along.

"Where do we start, Dean? I…I don't know how to do this. Like I said, I wasn't planning on doing this. I was going to simply come for the wedding and then disappear. You would've been none the wiser." And it's the truth. Lisa had said he wasn't coming to the wedding, which worked out perfect. Swoop in and breeze out; that was the plan. I guess Fate had other ideas, though.

"I really don't want to talk about it, but I guess we both need closure, huh?" He takes a long look at the ring on my finger before slowly nodding. The solemn expression on his face makes my heart ache.

"You just left, Cas, you just fucking left. You didn't even give me the chance to fight for this…for us. I changed so _much _for you. I…fuck, Cas…I'm a broken man. I was finally piecing myself back together, and then you…yeah." He looks away for a second, choosing his next words carefully.

"Let's start from the beginning. Let's take a look back and see where we went wrong. Maybe then we can both move on. You obviously have, but I haven't. I just…haven't."

I nod my head and prepare for the mental barrage. I haven't opened the proverbial 'Pandora's Box' in quite some time, so it's not going to be easy. The desperate look in Dean's eyes gives me the strength I need, though. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. When I open them, I look deep into Dean's tired greens.

"I'm ready."

**~D*C~**

**This is a rewrite of the original My December. I'm starting fresh, but I think you guys will like this incarnation a little better. Dean will be more bad ass, and Cas will be more…well…Cas! The first chapter will be up very soon. I'm going to update this one quickly to recover the lost time from the original, so be prepared. And please, review and let me know what you think. Feedback helps me make my stories better!**


	2. Chapter One

**My December**

**A/N: **I hope you guys like the direction this story is going. There's a lot more going on in this one, so be prepared.

**Setting: **This chapter starts five years in the past. The bulk of the story will be in the past, but there will be chapters that come back to the present. I'll let you know which chapters those are.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

**~D*C~**

**Chapter One: **One Minute

**Castiel's POV**

_Five years ago…_

"Fuck you!"

"You would."

I sigh as yet another walks off with his feelings hurt. I roll my eyes before continuing down the hallway. It's the first day of senior year, and I cannot wait for it to be over. High school has been a constant battle, but I've always managed to come out on top. Even so, it's still unnecessarily exhausting. I haven't even been here for five minutes and have already shared words with someone.

I'm the last child left in my family to graduate, all of my siblings having done so varying years earlier. My brother Gabriel, the trickster of the family, graduated last year, and is the only one still around. He says he plans to move to New York sometime in the next year or so, but you can never really tell with him. Michael and Lucifer flew off to God knows where while Anna and Rachel fled to California. I'm still not sure what I'm going to do exactly, but I'm definitely leaving from here.

Taking a deep breath, I open my locker and prepare to begin my day. I just hope no other incidents mar my day. The guy, Adam, unfortunately will only be the first of many to try and attain my 'services' for the year. You see, I'm smart, freakishly so, according to the masses. I've made my way through school with nothing but A's, but they are the product of my own hard work. Being so blessed, as my family calls it, I've always tried to impart as much knowledge on others as I can through tutoring. I do not, however, help those who are selfish and undeserving.

Those like Adam.

I'm not a particularly frail guy by any means. However, I've never been the type to partake in any form of sport or physical activity other than those required. I do favor running, though. Otherwise, I guess I'm one of the 'nerds,' if you will. I don't like the label, but it's been with me so long that I've grown quite used to it.

Back to the discussion at hand.

You see, the cliché 'populars' (jocks and cheerleaders and what have you) think they are the social elite. Subsequently, they _suck _at anything besides just that, sucking (and I do mean in all forms of the word). Therefore, when the going gets tough, they seek me out to 'help' them until things pass over.

I turn them down with no regret.

And because I turn them down, they feebly attempt to make my life miserable…and they fail quite epically.

As I said earlier, my brother Gabriel is the trickster of the family. Unlike the poorly planned and blatantly obvious 'pranks' these geniuses try and pull, his pranks have left people severely traumatized.

During his time here, he cleared out the entire campus a total of eleven times, but never once got in trouble. Although everyone _knew _it was him, they could never prove it. Even the poor kid who ended up in the mental asylum couldn't explicitly _say _it was Gabriel for sure. I still don't know exactly what he did to the kid, nor do I ever want to, but I do know the kid deserved it. Gabriel only seriously harmed those who pissed him off. Everyone else, though, usually escapes with moderate emotional scarring.

Anyways, like I was saying, I absolutely refuse to help any of those idiots. They don't deserve a damn thing, so I'm not going to waste my time.

"Castiel?" I turn my head at the sound of her voice, smiling softly in her direction. As usual, she rolls her eyes and punches me in the arm. She's always had a hatred for all things sentimental.

"Hello, Josephine."

"Ugh, Cas, you know I hate when you do that! It's Jo, alright, Jo!" Jo Harvelle is one hell of a girl, and anyone who has had the displeasure of pissing her off knows it. We met three years ago when she moved here with her mother, Ellen. They run an old bar in town called "Roadhouse." I liked her from first punch, literally. She was assigned to me as her guide since we would be sharing the same schedule. She kept trying to say my name, but kept failing. I honestly tried not to laugh at her, but I couldn't help it. She punched my arm, and the rest is, shall we say, history.

Oh yeah, and she shortened my name to 'Cas.' She only calls me 'Castiel' when she is asking a question, for whatever reason. I learned a long time ago not to question her actions.

"What's on your mind, _Jo_?" I ask. She smirks. "Just wondering what your schedule looks like for this year. I'm not sure I can make it this year without you to keep me from murdering someone."

We share a few laughs as we make our way down the hall. Unsurprisingly, we share the same schedule again, just as we have since she moved here. If I'm honest, I think it's because the instructors feel safer with us together. I missed a day last year, and she ended up punching three football players in the face and threatening the entire cheerleading squad. I was told to never miss a day again.

The first class of the morning is…drum roll…Economics! Don't be too excited, now! This year is a light one for me, so I have no reservations. Jo is, as always, indifferent towards our schedule. She's the type of student who doesn't give a flying fuck but scores much higher than those who actually _do_ give a flying fuck, probably even those who give _two _flying fucks.

As we move to settle down, I notice Jo looking rather intensely at her phone.

"You're unusually focused. What's up?" I ask. She's quiet for a minute before slowly answering me. "A ghost from my past is coming back to haunt me," she says cryptically. I shrug my shoulders before turning to face the board. She says nothing further, so I let it drop for now. As the teacher begins going over the syllabus, I can't help but feel this awful sense of dread. Usually, I'd blow it off and keep on going about my day, but this time, something is not right. It's a most foreboding feeling that absolutely refuses to go away. Something is going to happen today, and I'm scared to know what…

~D*C~

"Oh, stop it already. Christ!"

To any poor onlooker, I'd be quite the spectacle. I'm currently leaned up against the wall with a most pensive look on my face and tension set deep in my bones. I can only imagine how I must look to everyone else.

"_OMG! He looks like a freakin' statue standing there like that," _they'd say.

"_Oh yeah! Like that Thinking Man or whatever! OMG!"_

I shake my head, fearing myself going insane. I push off the wall and start down the hallway to my next class, Physics. I made it through Econ and Calculus without any problems, so I'm thinking my senses are a mere fluke this time around, even though they are…

"Never freakin' wrong," I mumble to myself.

You know how in the movies, when the girl is looking down and not watching where she's going, she runs into a guy and falls on her ass. Well, I now I know how she feels. Luckily for me, I have much more cushion in the ass department than she had. When I said I wasn't frail, I meant it. I'm rather lithe in my build, but I'm surprisingly muscular. I'm blessed with a nice physique, which includes a nice, round ass. When they aren't harassing me, the 'populars' are staring at my ass, both genders, might I add.

Anyway, back to the situation at hand.

"Ouch," I mutter quietly as I rub my sore bum. A deep chuckle pulls my attention upwards.

Now, up until this point in my life, I've never partaken in anything even remotely romantic or intimate…with anyone. I've never had an attraction to anyone, let alone _been _with anyone. So you can understand my confusion at the odd stirrings in my chest when my electric blue eyes connect with the deep, rich evergreen irises of the stranger who doubles as a road block. He sticks his hand out for me to take, which I do gladly.

I avoid looking at him for the moment, gathering my bearings and throwing up my defenses. This…whoever the hell he is…is testing my sensibilities. Okay, so that isn't really fair. I ran into him, after all. Still, something about him doesn't set well with me…wait.

"It's gone…" I mumble quietly. Unfortunately, he has the ears of a freakin' bat.

"What's gone? I didn't see or hear anything hit the ground except your ass. Nice ass, by the way."

I can feel my face wanting nothing more than to blush the deepest crimson possible, but years of unintentional conditioning prevent such a travesty. I can feel his intense gaze memorizing every inch of by body. To be honest, it feels like he's memorizing my very soul. I finally steel my nerves and chance a look in his direction. His face is blank, but I can see the mischief brewing in his eyes. He is up to no good.

"Um…thank you, I guess. I apologize for running into you. I should have been paying more attention," I say pointedly, awaiting his reaction.

His smirk deepens.

"It's not every day that guy runs into me. It's usually the other way around." I frown at him, wordlessly chastising him. He laughs heartily, but backs down nonetheless. He smiles sheepishly. "It's my turn to apologize, then." Against my better judgment, I find myself smiling back at him.

The bell rings then, grabbing my attention. My Calc class had let us out early, so it's only the first bell. Still, my instincts kick in, and I move to go. I turn back to alert my companion of my impending departure, but I find only empty space. However, I hear him calling around the corner somewhere…

"See ya later, Sweet Cheeks!"

I can only shake my head before heading off to Physics to meet Jo. I had to tell her about my 'encounter of the strange kind.'

~D*C~

**Dean's POV**

"Where the hell did you go?! Isn't it rude to ditch the new guy?!"

"Sorry! I had to go to the little girl's room to powder my nose."

I just stare at her, having absolutely nothing nice to say to her. She has whore written all over her.

It's my first day here at Lawrence High, and I'm stuck with the one and only Meg Masters, slutbag extraordinaire. I can tell from the way she carries herself that she's like easy. I've always been ridiculously acute at reading people. Before she 'died,' Mom always used to tell me that I could see right into the hearts and souls of those around me. She said I was 'sensitive,' but not in the way as most others. I always took it as her way of saying I'm fucked up in the head, but whatever. She's gone now, so I can't exactly ask her if that was the case.

I cringe as Meg loops her arm around mine, smiling sweetly up at me. It isn't sincere, and unfortunately enough, it isn't going away anytime soon. Hell, _she _isn't going away anytime soon.

"So, your next class is Workshop?! Boo! Why didn't they place you in the same classes with me like they did J? Oh well, we can't all be so lucky…" she grumbles to herself. I want to tell her they were trying to save me from her ass, but I decide to hold off on insulting her. I haven't been here long enough…

We make our way to where the shop is…where my sanctuary is. I don't even bother waving her off as I make my way inside. I walk up to the instructor, staring at him boredly for a bit. I smirk as he finally acknowledges my presence.

"Bout time I seen you, idjit. You staying out of trouble? Nevermind, don't answer that. Just take a damn seat, and do as you're told, for once in your miserable life." I don't try to hide the fond smile that's made its way to my face. Bobby is one of the few constants in my life, and it's because of him that I'm here. I derail my current train of thought before it gets too far from the station. Some things are best left alone for now.

Class goes without a hitch, no one really talking except for the idle chatter about cars and whatnot. That's the thing I love about classes like this. You get a room full of like-minded guys who have a passion for something simple as mechanics or what have you, and it's smooth sailing. Unlike with football or things like that, you don't have anything to prove. With shop, your masculinity is already established, and no one has any desire to take it away from you.

I pause at the door, frowning rather deeply at the sight of the she-demon standing outside, waiting with yet another shit-eating grin on her face. Bobby moves to stand beside me.

"You okay kid? And you know what I mean." I sigh, slowly shaking my head. "No, but what's new about that, Singer? I've gotta go. This bitch is waiting on me."

I make my way down to Meg, but stop when I hear a familiar whistle. I can't stop the small smile from appearing. It's his way of saying everything's gonna be okay. I just hope he's right.

After everything that's happened, I really want…no…_need _everything to be okay, for once.

I'm not a praying man, but I'll pray for this. Not only for me, but for him, too…

**~D*C~**

**Alright, so this is Chapter One! What did you think of Dean and Cas' first meeting? There are also a few hints at what happened between them to cause the pain of the present scattered throughout. Can you find them? As always, please review! I won't know if I'm doing something wrong if you don't tell me.**


	3. Chapter Two

**My December**

**A/N: **We see a little bit more of the darker side of Dean in this chapter. He and Jo meet up, and things get interesting. And this chapter is most definitely dedicated to nimthriel, my wonderful beta, and ulrira, my faithful reader. Love you guys!

**Setting: **It's a continuation of the last chapter. Lunch has come and gone, and the last class of the day is about to begin.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

**~D*C~**

**Chapter Two: **Chivas

**Dean's POV**

"Fuck, fuck, FUCK!"

Have you ever had that moment where you just said 'yes' to something without even taking the time to hear what it is you're agreeing to? Well, I'm regretting that shit right about fucking now.

"Fucking Meg Masters," I grumble to myself.

I honestly wasn't paying attention, but I really, really should have been. Much to my chagrin, I now have to deal with Meg before and after school. The goddamn snake slithered her way into riding to and from school with me for at least the next month. Her car is in the shop, and she lives not too far from me. I have learned to never tune that bitch out ever again so long as I live.

I take a few calming breaths before making my way into the guys' locker room. I unfortunately let myself be talked into signing up for athletics. I had a very promising career in football, and I was informed just how much of a fucking waste it'd be if I didn't let it come to fruition. Under normal circumstances, I would've just said 'fuck 'em' and did what I wanted. Sadly, the circumstances at hand are far from normal.

All of the guys look up as I walk inside, more than likely sizing me up. I remember doing the same thing at my old school when someone new would come into the fold. It's a guy thing.

Unfazed, I make my way to the coach's office. I had met him earlier when I registered, so I just have to get my locker assignment and equipment. Coach Robinson isn't your normal coach. He's stern, true enough, but he has a deeply troubled set to his entire body that lends to a surprisingly compassionate soul. He's the type of man you'd feel comfortable telling your worries and woes to because you know he'll understand. I won't be needing such a service, but I will definitely try my best, if only for him.

"Glad to see you made it, Winchester. Here's everything you'll need," he booms in his rich baritone. I firmly grasp the large bundle and make my way to my locker. Once again, all eyes are on me, and once again, I ignore them. I've been the new guy quite a few times, so I'm immune to the typical nonsense.

"Hey there, buddy! I'm Adam."

I turn around slowly to face the guy before me. He's a little taller than I am, but nowhere near as wide. If you ask me, he seems a little frail, but when you look at the life I've lived…

"Dean. Dean Winchester," I barely manage to make out.

He shakes my hand, grinning stupidly and trying to squeeze the life out of my fucking hand. I sigh at his ridiculous attempt at a show of dominance. I can only guess that he is the star of this lovely team, and doesn't want to be threatened, especially by the new guy…

Tough luck, Chuck.

"Well, Winchester, welcome to the team, I guess. Just hang back, and let us show you the ropes. Got it?"

I nod my head, internally rolling my eyes. He's arrogant _and _a dumbass. Great, just great…

"Alright. I'll try to pay close attention," I offer sweetly (mockingly). Dipshit doesn't catch on, just as I expected. And to make matters worse, he smiles and pats me on the back. Dear God in Heaven…

I glance around at the rest of the team. It's obvious that they follow his every whim. I can't tell if it's out of fear or some dumbass form of idolatry, though. I _pray_ it's fear because he is one fucked up idol. He's a pretty boy with self-esteem issues who has nothing better to do than to try and seem godlike while bullying the little man. It's seriously pathetic.

I can already tell that this is going to be one long ass year…

~D*C~

"Toodles!"

I can only smirk at the state of exhaustion the others are left in. Poor Adam wants to glare at me, but he is just too tired to do so. It's kinda sad. What's really sad, though, is how the others are looking in my direction with that blind fellowship that has kept Adam afloat. He's lucky, though. I'm not going to steal his thunder. I'll let 'em down easy.

As I make my way outside, I catch sight of a familiar head of long blonde hair. My fists clench and my jaw tightens. She and I need to talk, and it's going to be now.

"Jo!" I shout. She stops suddenly, but doesn't turn around. I can feel the tension rolling off of her in waves, but I can't be bothered to give a flying fuck.

"Deanie…" Meg races towards me, but I stop her with a glare. "Um…I'll just…wait by the car…"

I direct my attention back to Harvelle as Meg scurries off. I stop a few inches behind her. Neither of us says anything. There's no need to. She silently moves towards the bleachers, and I follow wordlessly behind. I can feel eyes on us, but I don't give a particular shit right now.

As soon as we are out of sight and earshot, I grasp her shoulder firmly and whirl her around to face me.

"You're hiding, you fucking coward," I start. She shakes my hand free of her shoulder and steps back.

"Don't you fucking start, Dean fucking Winchester! That is not fucking fair!" I laugh bitterly.

"Seriously. Are you fucking serious right now?! You fucking disappeared and didn't say a fucking word, Jo! That fucking hurt, Jo!" I can feel the tears of pure rage blazing behind my eyes, just begging to make themselves known.

"I know, Dean, I fucking know! I'm sorry! I'm so fucking sorry, Dean!" she all but screams. Her throat is raw with emotion, tears freely flowing down her face. I run my fingers desperately through my hair as I pace the small area around us. With adrenaline racing through my veins, I begin to punch the bleachers full force, using all of the energy I can muster.

"Dean, shit, stop it! Stop, goddammit!" Jo reaches up and grabs my fist. There is no blood, but I'm not surprised. All of the fucking scar tissue there has made sure of that.

"Get off of me!" I snatch my arm loose from her grasp. She stumbles back into the wall from the sheer force of the action. She quickly recovers, shoving me back into the bleachers.

"I couldn't take it anymore, Dean, I just couldn't! That was some fucked up shit that happened, and I just could not _deal _with it anymore!" she yells. I laugh maliciously as I step right into her personal space, shoving my face right into hers.

"_You _couldn't deal?! That's bullshit, Jo, and you fucking know it. _I _couldn't deal with it, but _I _was the one the shit was happening to! All you had to do was at least fucking tell me you were leaving! I could've at least sent Sam with you! No, you were thinking only of your goddamn self, you selfish bitch!"

She spits in my face before drawing back and punching the shit out of me. I don't even flinch, firmly grabbing both of her wrists and shaking her with all of the energy I can muster. She roars various profanities as she twists and pulls and stomps in anger. She finally wretches herself free and begins to pound my chest with her fists. I can feel the tears racing down my face as I grip her shoulders to hold her off.

"I can't believe you, you son of a bitch! You _know _it wasn't that fucking easy for me to leave! I saw the shit! I saw the scars! I. Was. There!" she manages between sobs.

"Fuck you, Jo! You…you…goddammit!" I can't even fucking think.

"I'm sorry!"

"And I'm hurt, Jo! I'm just so fucking tired of hurting…"

I forcefully pull her in for a bone-shattering hug. We both cling to one another like our lives depend on it, which is probably true, to a certain extent. It's been three long years. That's a long time to have to keep something in, especially something as volatile and destructive as this. I just…fuck.

We simply stand there, crying and holding on. I stroke her hair with quaking fingers, long buried fears and anxiety finally reaching the surface. I'm honestly not sure where the hell to go from here, but I know we'll figure it out.

"I'm really sorry, Dean."

"I know, Jo, I know."

And I mean it.

~D*C~

"Everything alright?"

"Yeah."

I say nothing further as I unlock my baby, unwillingly letting this harlot place herself upon my darling's beautiful leather seat. I know she has questions, but she won't ask 'em. I can only imagine how I must look right now. _I _wouldn't ask me for shit.

As I pull away from the campus, I see Jo standing in the parking lot. She offers a small wave, and I return a watery smile. I breathe, promising myself that I am _not _going to fall apart again. Not now.

I turn to Meg, who refuses to meet my hardened gaze.

"So, where do you live again?"

~D*C~

**Castiel's POV**

"Fuck you!"

"You would."

I bet you already know who that is. Adam! And once again, he's pissed. I am _not _about to help his stupid ass with a goddamn thing, excuse the language. His excuse now is that he feels threatened.

"_If my grades aren't any better, then I'll lose my competitive advantage! He cannot come in here and take my shit! He ain't all that!"_

Whoever the hell he was talking about is a hero in my book. It's about time he's knocked down to size.

"Oh well. Time to go home," I mumble to myself.

I slowly trudge my way down the hallway, dragging myself towards my car. Jo had been relatively quiet all day, so I really didn't get to talk to her about my encounter. I will eventually, but not until this…whatever blows over. She had fled from our last class as soon as the bell rang, grumbling about confrontations and some other nonsense. I let her go, knowing full well that eventually she'll come around to talk about it. She always does.

"Hello."

I nearly jump out of my skin, not expecting anyone to be left in this place. I had stayed after my last class, Advanced Art, to chat with the instructor for a bit. She's a little awkward, but I think I'm going to like her.

I look up, staring into a beautiful pair of hazel eyes. I'm taken aback by the intensity of his gaze. This is the second time today that I've been stared at like this. I shift a bit uncomfortably, desperately wanting the floor to open up beneath me. Something in his eyes makes me very sad and afraid, unimaginably so. His voice startles me once again…

"I'm sorry I scared you. It was never my intention. I'm Sam, by the way."

He scratches the back of his neck sheepishly, a blush ghosting across his tanned features. Much like the stranger from earlier, he is quite the specimen. He's freakishly tall, presumably six foot four or six foot five, I'm not sure. His shaggy brown hair slightly obscures the view of his gorgeous eyes, but that's not necessarily a bad thing, considering…

"Castiel," I mutter, offering a wavering smile. He beams brightly, nodding his head quickly. Something about this kid makes me want to just hold him in my arms and tell him the world is not so bad. I don't know. It's not like he's showing it on his face, but it's in the way that he's so enthusiastic about the little things, you know? It's almost like he's trying so hard not to see all of the fucked up things this world can offer. I step back to keep from actually _doing _what I just thought to.

"Nice to meet you, Cas! I'm new here, a freshman. I was trying to find the library, but I got turned around." I smile in understanding. I used to spend _so _much time in the library. My siblings actually had to physically drag me out sometimes. It was so sad…

"It's a little further down this main hall and then off to the left. You'll see it as soon as you round the corner." And there's that smile and intense gaze again. He reminds me so much of the guy from earlier. Hm…

"Thanks, Cas! I'll see you around!"

I wave at him as he jogs around the corner and out of sight. I have a feeling that I'm going to be seeing more of Sam in the near future.

Hm…

~D*C~

"Cassie! So nice of you to join us!"

I simply walk past my brother and proceed up the staircase.

To say that we live well would be an understatement. As I've gotten older, I've come to regard the Mansion as a place of beauty and sanctity. I can see exactly why Mother and Father fell in love with the place. It has a certain charm to it that isn't present in a lot of places nowadays.

I remember growing up and hating it. I always used to complain about how it was too big, or how it smelled funny or what have you. I was just being a brat is all. Now, it has become home. I've already called dibs on the place should anything happen to Father, and he has already agreed to it. However, I don't exactly expect a fight of any kind, mind you. The others could care less if anything happened to this place. I would, though.

It is the only thing we have left of our Mother.

She died when I was very, very young, and that's all I'm going to say on that issue.

I smile softly as I knock on the door to my Father's office. He's a very busy man, but he loves his children and always makes time for any of us should we need him. I'm not surprised to see the warm smile on his face as I enter.

"Castiel, how is my youngest child doing?" He's always doted over everything that I've ever done, much to everyone's chagrin, mine included. Even so, I still love him dearly and wouldn't have it any other way.

"I am well, Father. I officially survived my first day of senior year. I do believe I will succeed in 'making it,'" I say around my smile. We share a laugh before idly chatting about one another's day. We started doing this once I was old enough to comprehend Mother's death. Father felt this would help everyone cope if we all just talked things out and strengthened our family bond. I'm very glad he did.

All in all, I can say that I've lived a damn near perfect life. Sure, there have been some ups and downs, but nothing too traumatizing. My heart gives a sudden jolt as I remember the bright eyes and joyful smile of Sam. I know it is his way of coping with whatever has happened to him, but I'm curious as to what.

Even when I retire to my room later on, I still can't shake this nagging curiosity. Something ridiculously awful had to have happened to him for him to act like any minute could be his last. He's such a beautiful person. How can he be forced to bear such a burden?

I sigh, knowing that no answers will come to me. Oh well. Tomorrow is another day.

"_Don't worry, Sam. Wherever you are, I'm wrapping you in my arms and encasing you in the love you so desperately need. The world really isn't that bad. Trust me…"_

**~D*C~**

**I hope I didn't confuse you guys too much. There's a lot of things going on, but they'll start to make sense as the story progresses on. I hope you like! Review time ^-^**


	4. Chapter Three

**My December**

**A/N: **This chapter is definitely a little lighter than the last, but still kinda angsty. We get a bit of Dean-Cas interaction in this one, as well as a look into the Jo-Dean dynamic. And for my wonderful beta, I have a most wonderful surprise for you in this chapter ;p

**Setting: **This chapter takes place at the end of the first week. Part of it takes place at school, while the rest takes place at the local diner.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

**~D*C~**

**Chapter Three: **Be Still

**Castiel's POV**

We're standing here, looking at one another with unparalleled intensity for the last ten minutes. I'm way too stubborn to back down, and she knows it. Why she's still trying, I'll never know. It has to be something serious for her to foolishly attempt to deny me what I seek.

It has been four days, and Jo has avoided me like the plague. Now, I've come to know Jo really, really well, and she only ever avoids me when something bad has happened. I know it has something to do with this 'ghost' or whatever from her past, but I just can't figure out what. Hell, I don't even know who the damn ghost is!

It's our lunch period, and I managed to corner her in the back of the cafeteria. We usually leave campus to go eat at the diner, but today is not the day for niceties. I step a little closer, invading her beloved personal space. If there's anything that'll get a reaction, it's this.

"Goddammit, Cas! I'll spill, alright! Shit!" I smile in victory as she huffs petulantly.

I turn around curtly and make my way to our favorite table, taking a seat and waiting patiently for my companion to join me. I ignore the bitter glare she's directing towards me, calmly awaiting the desired information.

"Spill," I state bluntly. She looks to the side, her gaze unfocused and distant. She's a million miles away as she speaks…

"Before I came here, I was involved with this guy and his family. Our families were very, very close. Some things happened that were…anyway, my mom and I left. He and I saw each other for the first time and…yeah."

The pain etched across her face is something I know I'll remember for the rest of my life. Jo is tough as nails, and has never been one to show any sort of pain or what have you. She's too strong for that. To see this foreign expression cut so deeply and perfectly into her features disturbs me deeply. Suddenly, she starts speaking again…

"You know, my life was never perfect. My dad disappeared when I was real little, so I never got to know him. Mom is sure that he's dead, but his body has never been found. We've always lived the best that we could. We've never been rich, mind you, but we've never had to want for anything either. Mom's busted her _ass _to keep us happy and healthy. She's never dated, but I honestly don't mind. Dad was the love of her life, you know. You never recover from losing someone like that."

I reach my hand across the table, taking hers gently in my own. She's still looking off, but I can see the small smile that graces her lips at that. This is the first time she has mentioned her past to me, and I'm not going to interrupt. She knows all about mine, and has even met my other siblings. All of them like her, albeit fearfully. It's her kick ass attitude that warms my heart and keeps me by her side.

"When we met 'them,'" she begins, "they seemed rather normal. Hell, I thought I had met my best friend, my bff. He and I were so fucking inseparable, it wasn't even funny. We each cried hysterically when the other went home. If I'm honest, I've never stopped crying."

She sighs softly, a lone tear rolling down her cheek. My heart clenches at the sight.

"Things were good until his mother passed. That part is not my story to tell, but it was a situation most fucked up. Shit went downhill from there, and every ounce of happiness that we had was gracelessly ripped away from us. We're totally different people now, and I'm not sure where that leaves us. I wanted to tell you, Cas, but I just couldn't. I haven't even told Mom yet."

She smiles at me sadly before burying herself in her own thoughts. I can't deny that I'm intrigued by this mysterious person she speaks of. It's obvious that he's an integral part in Jo's life, but I'm not really sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. His presence seems quite damning, but it's not necessarily is own fault? I have no clue who the hell he is, but I want so desperately to figure him out. I sigh, shaking my head to clear my thoughts. I need to focus…

"Adam wants me to tutor him," I blurt out. The smirk that slowly blossoms on her face is all I need to see to know that everything is alright. It may not be 'alright' alright, but at least it's better than it has been.

"Fucking dumbass. You still turn him down, right?" I nod enthusiastically, chuckling at the memories of all his reactions. Priceless.

We spend the rest of our lunch period talking about happier things. Even so, I know it's only fleeting…

~D*C~

**Dean's POV**

I pinch the bridge of my nose, feebly attempting to ward off the ensuing headache. If I had known _this _was how my day was going to go, I would've stayed my ass at home.

"Would you all just please, shut the fuck _up_?!" I bellow, completely silencing the locker room. Adam is apparently pissed at some guy for not tutoring him, and everyone else is helping to add on to his belly-aching. I get that he is 'upset' and all that jazz, but he really needs to learn to keep shit to himself. Nobody gives a flying fuck, Adam! Not even your fucking cronies!

I sigh, standing up and making my way out onto the field. Coach let us have a free period, something having come up with his kid at the beginning of class. I was hoping for some alone time in the workout room, but that was not meant to be. Everyone followed me, and then Adam came in. The rest is history, unfortunately.

Thinking about Coach and his kid makes me wonder about my younger brother, Sam. We don't see each other once we set foot on the campus, so I spend my free time worrying about him. I love my brother to death, and will kill anyone who dares to so much as _think _ill about him. He's the only slice of pure happiness in my life, albeit a rather giant, sasquatch-like slice.

From the moment he was born, I've protected Sammy from any and everything that can possibly do harm to him. I only failed once, but I made _sure _it won't happen again. A familiar burning in my chest maintains my memory of that day, a literal piece of death nestled there to remind me each and every day.

A sound from the bleachers grabs my attention. I slowly inch backwards, making my way silently towards my target. Due to a series of unfortunate events and some fucked off parenting, I've become exceptionally sensitive to everything around me. Nothing gets past me.

I position myself right at the edge of the bleachers, directly underneath the offending noise. I take a breath and count to three.

"1…2…"

At three, I leap up, grasping the edge. I swiftly pull myself up and grasp whoever is up there firmly before tugging them down. As soon as my feet touch the ground, I have their arm behind twisted behind their back and their face in the dirt. As I press down onto my victim, I feel the swell of a nice, firm ass beneath me. I raise up, quirking an eyebrow.

"It's you…" I whisper. Unfortunately, I loosen my grip just enough for him to get free. He quickly whirls around and…

"Ack! F…fuck!"

Throat punch. Son of a bitch…

"Oh shit. Damn instincts."

He hovers over me, a deep frown set on his delicate features. I never really got the chance to really look at him yesterday, but now…damn.

"Stop writhing in agony," he demands bluntly. I want to glare, but the combination of my pain and the sight of his face renders me useless. I do as he says, eyes widening as I feel his hands on my throat.

"There. I've really got to work on that…" he mutters to himself. He massages my throat, but I can't really focus on the feeling. My eyes lock onto his brilliant blue irises, reveling in their intensity. I can tell he's tough, defenses always firmly in place. However, he does have a soft side, although it's rarely used. He's focused and intense, but a little naïve. He hasn't been through much…

He's lucky.

"Stop reading me, please. It's impolite." I chuckle softly, not caring in the least that I've been caught.

"You have a nice ass _and _soft hands. You must be an angel."

He rolls his eyes before moving away to gather his scattered things. I sit up, watching him curiously. I'd be lying if I said he wasn't the cutest guy I've ever seen. And trust me, I've seen a lot.

"Sorry, again. It's a defense mechanism. I can't help it."

Even though I know he can't see it, I nod quickly. It hurt like a bitch, but no permanent damage is done.

"I'll survive," I shrug. I watch as he stands up, stretching his body much like a cat would after a nap. He's perfectly built, strong, lithe muscle encased in pale skin. And that ass…goddamn! When my life wasn't so shitty, I realized my attraction to both genders. Living the life I've lived, I've come to appreciate everyone, regardless of what society or whatever says. I've never really _dated_, given the circumstances, but I am experienced, nonetheless.

This time around, I find _his_ hand offered to help _me _up. I chuckle at the irony as I rise to my feet. I'm definitely taller, and a lot wider than he is. Oddly enough, we balance each other out, which piques my interest. My mind wants so badly to wander down paths uncharted, but years of discipline denies me. I know that nothing can ever come of this attraction.

Well, there goes my mood.

"I should really be asking you if _you _are okay. I did remove you from your perch, after all." He just shrugs.

"I only came out here to think. I have a free period, so I figured I'd just get away for a bit."

"What's on your mind? Must be something heavy to require fresh air."

He looks off, frowning again. I hate when he frowns…

"You really shouldn't do that. You're much too beautiful to mar your face with a frown like that. Don't want your face stuck in such an unfortunate expression." I can't help myself. I've always been rather open with my opinions (for better or worst).

"I…don't know how to take that," he mumbles, a light blush dusting his cheeks. I smile smugly.

I go to say something, but find myself interrupted by the most annoying voice on the face of the goddamn planet…

"Adam," we say simultaneously. Apparently, I'm not the only one who loathes his fucking existence.

"We were wondering where you went, Winchester. Oh, Castiel! What are you doing here?" Uh oh…

"Leaving. Try not to pull anyone else to their doom, please. Okay?" I smirk, nodding noncommittally. As he walks off, I see Adam smirk at the groupies. I already know this is not going to end well.

"Adam…" I begin, but stop as I see it's already too late.

"Ack! F…fuck!"

"Goddammit!"

I erupt into uproarious laughter as I waltz past. At least now Adam will _have _to shut the fuck up. Score one for throat punch!

"Cas, huh. He sure is something else."

~D*C~

**Sam's POV**

"You got it?"

"I sure do! Thanks, Jess!"

I wave goodbye to my new study buddy, breezing out of the library with a smile on my face. I glance down, checking my phone. As expected, I see a few messages from Dean, cursing the poor girl that's stuck riding with him. He absolutely _hates _her. I haven't met her, so I have no clue whether his feelings are founded or not.

"Dean…" I whisper to myself.

Whenever I think about my brother, I feel this great sadness wash over me. He is the reason I've experience all of the happiness that's come into my life. He's made sure that nothing has ever hurt me, but no one's ever done the same for him, sadly. I shake my head, clearing the thoughts from my head. I'm focusing on the positive.

I make my way out of the building and out to the highway. It's a nice evening, so I decide to walk it. Dean would _kill _me if he knew, but I take great care to make sure that no one recognizes me who would tell him. That's why I'm only too glad to stay after school.

"_When you get done, you call me if you need me to come get you, Sammy."_

"_It's fine, Dean. I always have a ride home."_

I lied, but only to a certain extent. I never study alone, but I almost always walk home. It's only been three times, though, so it's not exactly a big deal…

"It will be to him," I mutter to myself. Dean will flip, and I'm trying to avoid that. As long as there's success, I will continue to do it.

"Sam?"

I nearly jump out of my skin, not expecting to hear someone call my name. I look over to see the guy from the other day.

"Hey, Cas."

He pulls over, stopping just a few feet in front of me. So much for going unnoticed.

"What are you doing walking? You need to ride with someone," he scolds. I smile sheepishly.

"I don't live far. And look at me. I can fend for myself should I need to." He quirks an eyebrow, clearly not impressed. I sigh, knowing that I've lost this fight.

"Get in. We're going to the diner, and then I'll drop you off at home. I gotta visit a friend of mine."

I nod dumbly before moving around to the passenger side. I give one last longing look at the road before sliding inside.

"Buckle up." I do so, just a little sadly.

~D*C~

"Hey, Castiel! Ooh, and who do we have here?! Is he someone new?" I blush at the implication.

"Charlie…" he growls. I smile sympathetically at the red-head as she laughs lightly.

As the two of them begin to talk, I take a minute to finally _look _at this guy. He's a really cute guy, and if I were into guys, I'd definitely go after him. I'm not however, but I know someone who is…

"Dean would eat you alive…" I whisper quietly.

My brother has always been a rather 'open-minded' person, so it was no surprise to me when I caught him sneaking in his first guy. Cas would be perfect for him. From his build to his uniquely delicate features, he's just the type to get Dean's attention. I might have to find time to introduce the two of them…

"Sam?"

I blush as I realize all of the attention is on me. I cough lightly to dispel some of the awkward tension.

"What would you like, kiddo?" Charlie asks with an amused grin on her face. She's super pretty, and has a nice voice. I think I'd like to come back to see this girl again.

"Just a salad. And yes, I'm dead serious." They both erupt into laughter as I glower at them. Dean always gives me hell about eating what he calls 'rabbit food.' It's not rabbit food, dammit!

"Alright, whatever you want, cutie," she says with a wink before walking off. Oh yes, I'll definitely be back. I turn my attention back to Cas.

"So, you bring all of your guys here?" I snicker as he blushes and glares at me. I can tell there is no malice behind it, though. As I said earlier, were I gay, Dean would be screwed. He is just so precious.

"Ignore Charlie. She just loves to push my buttons. I have never brought any guys anywhere, let alone here, of all places."

I quirk an eyebrow at that. Hm…

"So, you're a virgin then?" I get my answer in the form of a gaping mouth. He's floundering, poor guy.

"Sam!"

"I am, too, so don't feel so bad. I have dated, though. Have you? Are you looking for anyone?" I lean across the table, not bothering with formalities on personal space. If Dean can do it, so can I. And this just might benefit him…both of us, really.

"Why? You interested?" I smirk. Even when he's thrown off, he's still quick-witted. I definitely see friendship in our future.

"What if I said yeah?" He frowns at that. I win.

We stare at one another for a moment before both grinning and chuckling conspiratorially.

"I can tell, Sam, that we're gonna be great friends," he says around his smile.

I couldn't agree more.

**~D*C~**

**Some things have kinda been explained, but there is still so much to be revealed. Stay tuned to find out more lol The next chapter is an Interlude in the present. Things get hot and heavy, so I hope you're ready. Review, please! Love the feedback. And thanks to all my favorites and followers.**


	5. Interlude One

**My December**

**A/N: **Once again, thanks to all my favorites and followers. I love you all ^-^

**Setting: **This chapter is an Interlude set in the present.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

**~D*C~**

**Interlude One: **Don't

**Castiel's POV**

"Fuck…"

Several more profanities escape my lips as I slowly rise from my rather uncomfortable perch on Dean's couch. At some point during the night, I dozed off. I figured Dean would've thrown me up at some point, but he didn't. I wanna say I'm surprised, but I'm not. Even as pissed as he is (and trust me, there's a hell of a fucking stormbrewing under the surface), he's not the type of guy to do something fucked up like that.

We spent the entire night talking about the past, sifting through the painful memories of it all. God, Dean was so damn _damaged_ back then. My guilt has grown immensely, feeling no better than a fucking murderer should after all of the sick shit he's done. In essence, we're very much the same. I senselessly and systematically _killed _Dean and left without so much as a glance back. My father always said that evil is always punished in the end, that there is no perfect crime. I've come to realize that now.

The wonderful scent of freshly made coffee wafts into the living room, pulling me to my feet before I know it. Dean doesn't miss a beat as I make my way over and pour myself a cup. He smirks tiredly in my direction, but I know that exhaustion is not the culprit for the weight there. It's the pain of long-suffered sorrow that burdens his being.

I so fucking hate myself right now.

~D*C~

**Dean's POV**

"You got anywhere you need to be today?" I ask. We've only just scratched the surface of this…'thing' between us, and I'm _not _ready for it to be over quite yet. I need to know what the hell went wrong, and try and get some sort of closure. I deserve at least that.

"No. I'm all yours," he says absently, clearly wallowing in his own thoughts.

If my heart was still capable of feeling, it would be forcing rage through my veins right now. It would want me to yell at him, tell him he doesn't get to fucking wallow in a goddamn _bit _of self-pity. It would roar that he doesn't deserve that shit, and that he should man the fuck up and grow a fucking pair. Sadly, it doesn't get that chance anymore. It's been fucking dead a long time now. The only one it revives and beats for is…

"Scout!"

The pitter-patter of small feet brings a joyful smile to my face. The only time that I experience any form of happiness and joy is when this little tyke busts into the room, frown upon his face. He's a serious kid, but entertaining nonetheless. He's frighteningly intelligent, and just sensitive as I am to any and everything around him, if not more so. The kid misses nothing, unfortunately, which has caused some rather 'interesting' things to occur.

"You wet me sweep in again. Bad Daddy. I wike to pway on pwetty days!" I ruffle his blonde locks before moving to hand him his stool.

"Thank you," he says as he begins his morning ritual.

Scout is one of those children that is has an 'old soul,' if you will. He is extremely self-sufficient, picking his own clothes and fixing his own breakfast. As usual, he's up in the cabinets, rifling through the cereal until he picks the one he wants. He'll pour his own milk and later clean his own dishes. All I have to do is supply the stool, or his 'pwatfworm,' as he calls it.

Cas watches his every move, curiosity written plainly upon his features. He hasn't changed in the last five years, but I didn't expect him to. Cowards never really do.

"We need to go to the store soon, Daddy. I need more sewections!" Scout mumbles. See what I mean?

"We will, kid. You wanna go play with Singer today?" His little eyes light up almost immediately. To say that he gives Bobby _hell_ would be the understatement of a lifetime. Like his daddy, he likes toying with mechanical things. Also like his daddy, he absolutely _loves _to fuck with Bobby. By the time I go to pick him up, he's completely transformed the place into his little kingdom. It's fucking hilarious.

"Singer? Weally? Yea! I wanna go! I wuv Singer!" Told you.

"Dean, what about school?" I glance at Cas confusedly for a moment before it hits me. I laugh cynically.

"No need to fret, Castiel. He's only four. I didn't rush into the waiting arms of some woman out of desperate woe immediately after you left so that I may have a five year old to make you doubt my sincerity." He looks away, blushing the deepest shade of red I think I've ever seen. Caught him in the mental act, did I? So sad.

"And no, you weren't an experiment either." It is unnecessary to throw that at him like that, but I want him to know. As malicious as it sounded, I didn't mean anything mean by saying it. If he was already thinking that I up and got someone knocked up right after he left, then I'm almost positive he was thinking that I was only toying with him, as well. Guilt makes you think stupid things…

Cas doesn't say anything as Scout and I go about our morning. I finish up my coffee as he finishes his cereal, both of us cleaning our dirty dishes. We were both up well before Cas, so we've already showered and dressed.

Now, I'm not the over protective parent who has to oversee every little thing that his or her child does. No, far from it. However, we _do_ do everything together. From brushing our teeth to showering, we do so at once. I hadn't ever planned on it happening, but it just did. I was in the shower one morning, and I nearly jumped out of my fucking skin when I heard the shower door open. I was even more shocked to see a then two year old Scout clutching to my leg and smiling up at me. Things just kinda stuck from then on.

"Hey Dean? Do you mind if I shower?"

I jump, much to my own chagrin. I hate when I get lost in my own thoughts. I nod numbly, trying to settle my thoughts. As he moves upstairs, I glance down at Scout. I shake my head as I see that he has my phone, calling his favorite person in the whole wide world!

"Yea. Daddy said I can come pway. Uh huh. In a wittle while? Otay." I laugh loudly as he simply hangs up, not even saying goodbye. I've really got to teach him about that…

"Singer coming to get you?" I ask. He nods his little head, beaming all the while. I fucking love this kid.

"Alrighty then. Go get your things together so you can go."

"You don't have to tell me twice!" he shouts, already halfway up the stairs. I shake my head and move to the living room. If only I had been able to share his enthusiasm and happiness as a child…

I sigh, refusing to go down that path. I've gotten over it, but the shit is still fucked up. I still don't talk to my dad, but really, no one does. He's trying, but I really won't give a damn until I see some solid results, consistent ones at that.

My eyes move towards the staircase. Cas is here, and I'm not sure how to take it. On one hand, I'm glad because he can finally own up to the bullshit he did and hopefully close this fucking chapter in our unfortunate lives. On the other hand, however, I really don't want the complications that can arise with emotions and confessions and all other things chick-flick. I'm just not that guy!

Scout eventually comes barreling down the stairs, flinging himself haphazardly on the couch beside me. When he finally rights himself, he looks up at me rather uninterestedly. Of course, I return the favor. We both shrug and stare towards the door. When I feel his small hand firmly grasp mine, I know that everything is alright for now. As long as I have him beside me, I'll survive. Even though he was borne of some seriously fucked up circumstances, I can never say I regret him.

If only I could say the same about Cas…

~D*C~

"So, how's New York?"

I quirk my eyebrow as he shrugs nonchalantly.

"I like it. It's a little busy, but it's nice to get lost in the flow sometimes, you know? I've never been one for attention." He's right about that one.

I look at him for a moment, just letting the reality of his presence here sink in. He's completely relaxed, basically melting into the couch. He's wearing one of my t-shirts and my jogging pants. It's nothing new to see him wearing my clothes. He used to do it all the time.

"This is hard for me," I state bluntly. He just stares, saying nothing. I shake my head.

I move to get up, but stop when I feel his hand grip my wrist. He's gotten faster in our years apart. He always complained about how he never could keep up with me.

"Cas…" I warn. I know what he's trying to do, but he's not getting it so easily.

The thing about being with someone so long is that you learn their habits. A showered Cas was always a dangerous one. He often used the time to think and plan. Whenever something bothered him, he'd retreat to either the shower or the bathtub, whichever was available. His defenses are up, so he was putting in some work in that shower. Even so, he has no advantage here.

He's on my turf.

Before he can even blink, I haul his ass off the couch and force my lips against his. I effortlessly move us to the wall beside the couch. I dominate the connection, pouring all of my energy into this kiss. My left hand moves down to firmly grasp his erection, the grip solid and commanding. He whimpers as I force my hand around his hard cock, pulling at it with gusto. My other hand moves under his ass, lifting him up to wrap his legs around my waist.

My fingers make their way to his ass, toying with his quivering hole before moving in. His defenses crumble, all of his resolve dissolving before my very eyes. I work my fingers in his ass in time with the jerking of his dick. Soon enough, I feel his balls start to tighten, his orgasm eminent. I remove my lips from his…

"That what you want, Castiel? Hm? You seriously thought that you could force me into a corner and play me like a goddamn fiddle? Not gonna happen, buddy." I step back as he cums, removing both hands and letting him crumple to the floor. I wordlessly make my way back to the couch, sitting down and crossing my legs. "You might wanna clean yourself up. It's not very becoming of you, Novak."

I don't even have to look over to see the look of hurt and despair in his eyes. I should really feel like shit for doing that to him, but he has to know that he's not in control here. Cas has never liked to feel inferior to anyone, and I've never had reason to make him feel as such…until now. He thought he could get me like he used to. Sadly, he forgot that we were still together and very much in love then. Now, that shit is for the birds.

"How could you?" he whispers. I laugh bitterly.

"Welcome to my world, Cas. I've been asking that same goddamn question now for the last five fucking years. And just like you, I never got a fucking answer, so deal with it."

He pathetically picks himself up and moves towards the restroom. I know that I should feel bad, especially at the sound of his poorly disguised crying. No matter how high he turns the water in the sink, I can still hear him.

I stretch my hands and lean back into the cushions. If he thinks that this is the end of it, he's sadly mistaken. We're diving headfirst back into the past when he gets back out.

It has only just begun.

**~D*C~**

**That was truly fucked up, was it not? Things like this are bound to happen, so be prepared. Cas has learned a very valuable lesson…don't cross Dean Winchester. I hope you guys like this chapter. Read and review, please ^-^**


	6. Chapter Four

**My December**

**A/N: **Welcome to all of my new readers/followers! I hope you're all enjoying this. Things get kinda interesting in this chapter.

**Setting: **This chapter is back in the past. This chapter takes place at the end of the first month.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

**~D*C~**

**Chapter Four: **Can I Have A Kiss

**Castiel's POV**

I sometimes wonder why I always seem to get myself into these situations.

"Goddammit, Castiel, seriously? Seriously?!"

Leave it to Jo to be the voice of unwarranted truth. I simply choose to glower at her, not wanting to encourage another outburst of honesty. I know what I did was wrong, but what the hell does she expect from me?!

"Naomi requested that I help her, and you know I can't exactly go against her! She's been a part of my life for far too long!" I defend. Naomi is one of the school counselors, and has actually moved up the chain just as I've proceeded through grades. She's always been a strong voice in my educational goals, much to the chagrin of my father and siblings. However, she has never steered me wrong.

"She's not your mother! You don't have to listen to her!" I roll my eyes.

As with about ninety-nine percent of the school, Naomi dislikes Jo immensely. I mean, if Jo was on fire, she'd happily pour gasoline on her. I'd like to say Jo is innocent, but to call someone a manipulative bitch in front of half of the student body…well…you can figure it out.

Naomi had asked me earlier if I would tutor Meg. Now, no one, and I mean _no one_, is a fan of Meg. She's kind of part of the popular clique, kind of not. You see, she basically strung the entire football team along long enough for them to accept her into the fold. She's devious, and has no qualms about betraying _anyone_. The cheerleaders hate her, but can't do anything because the guys will always defend her.

The ironic part about it all is how everyone thinks she's such a whore, but she is anything but. You see, Meg and I aren't best friends by any means. Hell, we've never even said more than two words to one another. However, we sort of have this weird connection between the two of us. For some odd reason, we just 'understand' one another. Subsequently, I can see the person that she _really _is, the true Meg Masters. She's toyed with plenty of them, but she has never so much as _undressed _in front of any man outside of her immediate family.

I don't trust her, but I don't exactly feel the same way about her as the rest of the populace. She's truly the 'Queen of Male Damnation,' if you will, but an easy fuck she is not. I remember when we first 'spoke' to one another. We were on this field trip in middle school. There was this guy, Ben, I think, who really liked her. The entire bus ride, he was all over her. He just couldn't keep his hands off of her. Father once said that men wanted most what they could not have. Meg embodies that.

At some point during the trip, I had to go pee. On my way to the bathroom, I saw Meg and Ben standing in the hallway. He was once again all over her, and she was just standing there, looking at him rather uninterestedly. When she spoke, I knew she was not your normal girl.

"_Ben?" she asked softly._

"_Yes, baby?"_

"_You really like me, huh?" She tilted his head up so that his eyes would meet hers._

"_I really do. You're so fuckin' hot, Meg. I'd do anything for you." She quirked an eyebrow at this._

"_Really? Hm. I'll have to remember that. Just know this, though. If you __ever__ want to see just how fucking hot I really am, you'll have to earn your keep. Want me. Need me. Treat me like a fucking __Queen__! Do that, and I promise you. You'll definitely feel __all__ of my true heat."_

The speed with which he captured her lips amazed me. He was driven utterly and completely _mad_ with lust. She had him hook, line, and sinker. As he rose up to catch his breath, her eyes met mine. In that moment, I felt pity for any man that had ever and would ever come in contact with her. They were fucked, and not how they'd want. We shared an unspoken 'got it' then, and haven't spoken since.

"Look, Jo, I'm tutoring her. No, I'd prefer not to, but Naomi all but begged me to. And you know Naomi doesn't beg." She doesn't say anything, just rolls her eyes. I smile as I realize I've won the battle. Unfortunately, however, I know that I have not won the war.

"Damn straight, bucko! And I haven't even _begun _to fight!"

Shit.

~D*C~

**Sam's POV**

"I hate her."

"Dean."

"She gets on my fucking _nerves_, I tell ya!"

"Dean."

"I swear, I'm going to fucking kill her one day…"

"Dean!"

He jumps, much to my personal delight. I know he's frustrated, but jeeze, he's being a whiny _bitch_!

"Don't mentally call me no bitch, Sammy!"

"Too late!" I beam. I laugh at his glare.

For once, I rode in with him and Meg. Ever since the first day of school, he has constantly complained about her presence in his precious Impala. I usually ride in with Bobby, but he had a teacher's meeting to attend. In retrospect, I'm kinda glad.

From what I could tell, Meg wasn't as bad as Dean made her out to be. Sure, she was a freaking chatterbox, but what girl isn't. I think the thing that bothers him is her closeness to him. Dean is…well…kinda damaged and broken. Bump that. He's _extremely _damaged and broken, almost irreparably so. Because of that, he doesn't really like people getting too close to him. He's always afraid that he'll hurt anyone who ventures too far into the darkness that is his being, but I always tell him he can't control that.

Meg is the type of girl who revels in getting too close. She's harmless to someone like Dean, but his defenses take no chances. To be honest, she's harmless to even me! However, I do feel for all other men who run into her. They are screwed!

"How much longer till the first bell? I think I need to put you back into place!"

I laugh heartily as he gets me in a headlock and ruffles my hair. Moments like this remind me of the good ole days, when Mom was still alive, and Dad wasn't out doing God knows what. Dean was actually happy then, and I didn't have to worry so much. Oh well, I guess.

"Alright, alright! Uncle. Uncle!" I scream, chuckling as Dean lets me go and stands proudly. If only things could always be like this…

"So, when am I going to meet this friend of yours? He seems like a really nice guy, and I want to thank him for taking care of you," he asks nonchalantly, but I can tell he's interested.

Remember how I said I might just have to find time to introduce him and Cas? Yeah, I've decided to begin working on that.

Cas and I really hit it off that day. To be honest, I was really sad when we left. After Cas and I's little banter session, Charlie arrived with our food. It was slow, so Cas asked her to join us. I can't honestly say the last time I had so much fun with anyone outside of Dean like that. We talked about any and everything. Since then, we've all hung out twice, I think. Charlie, though, is super cool, amazing even. I'm torn between her and Jess on who I like more, but I'm not gonna rush into anything. I'm just gonna take my time and see where life takes me. With the life I've lived…

"You will soon, Dean, dang. Eager, much?!" I easily duck the swipe he takes at my head, expecting the blow the moment I opened my mouth.

"Shut up, bitch." Typical Dean.

I glance up, deciding it's best to head towards my class. I hate being late, unlike my beloved brother. Hell, if Dean never had to see the inside of a school again, he wouldn't be bothered to move.

I go to tell Dean that I'm leaving, but stop as I notice him staring at something rather intensely. You know what they say about how looks could kill? Well, whoever Dean is looking at, they are about to fucking explode in a most fiery glory. I shift my line of vision to match his…and sigh to myself. This is not going to turn out good at all…

"Meg…"

~D*C~

**Meg's POV**

"Castiel!"

For any other guy, I'd put on my brightest, most dazzling smile to win him over. Castiel Novak, however, is far from any other guy. He's an anti-bullshit kind of guy, and it'd be a waste of my time to try and treat him as anything less.

I've gotten myself into some academic trouble, it seems, and I've got to get myself out of it if I want to graduate. I won't lie. It's my own damn fault. Playing around with these simpletons takes up most of my time, although it's very, very entertaining. I feel so much better when I 'chess my pawns,' so to speak.

Sadly, my games are going to have to stop for a while. That bitch, Naomi, decided to stick me with a tutor to get my studies back on track. If there is anything that I absolutely fucking hate, it's being told what to do. I make my own rules, which is why I am the one toying with the boys, not the other way around. Unfortunately, I have to swallow my pride and do as she says. Bitch…

"Meg." I simply stare at him. He's not curt or rude, which I appreciate. He's just blunt…just himself…

"I'm really glad you're the one helping me. I…you understand." I say nothing further, but I know I don't have to. He and I are on the same page.

He nods, just as I expect. I remember how he looked at me the day of that field trip. He didn't judge me, no. He just…knew.

We stand here for a moment, simply staring at one another. On the outside, it probably seems weird and maybe a little dirty, but it's not. Words are unnecessary between us. He knows what I can't and won't say, so I don't waste the words. I read him all the same, however, so this is most definitely _not _a one-sided issue. We're cut from the same cloth, although he hasn't realized his potential yet. While he teaches me a few things, I plan on doing the same to him. The world is our plaything, but sadly, he hasn't realized it yet. Oh well. That's all about to change.

"We'll get started after school today. Meet me in the library," he breezes effortlessly. I can't help but respect this guy before me.

The thing about Castiel is that he's very unassuming. When you see him, you see this strange kid who is obviously very intelligent, but not really 'popular' material. However, it takes someone much more sinister to see the true depth to this guy's character. Castiel has a rich wisdom that belies his relatively few years, especially when you compare him to the old ass men who actually _should _have his mentality. He's an old soul, but just a little naïve. His naivety is unique, though. Unlike most normal people, his is borne of a chosen disregard for such things he deems unnecessary. In other words, he ain't got time for that.

I've been intrigued by him for a long time, and this is actually going to be the perfect opportunity to get to know him better…

"Alrighty then. I'll be there. I'll require a ride home, though. Is that a problem?" We both share uninterested gazes.

He shrugs. "I will take you home afterwards. Anything else?" I actually find myself smiling. Well played, Novak!

"Nope. See you around kid."

I mean to walk off, but I just can't remove my gaze from his, but I'm not the only one caught up in moment. There's a fire burning behind those brilliant blues, and it both calls out to me and screams for me to run away. I can't shake this feeling that he is going to be the death of me one day. For the first time in my life, I can actually feel my heart beating in my chest. Hell, I actually _hear _the motherfucker!

Before I can stop myself, I reach my hand out and place it over where his heart should be. I then place my other hand over my own heart. As ridiculous as it sounds, this is the first time I've experienced this. I'm not referred to as a 'cold-hearted bitch' for nothing, after all. This, though, this is new. I remember my mother once telling me that the heart knows when it finds a kindred spirit. She said it beats as one with its companion, connecting in a way that only comes once in a lifetime. It seems Castiel and I are a lot more alike than _either _of us realizes…

A cacophony of gasps and whispers pull me from my stupor. I frown as I look to my right. For whatever reason, Dean is making his way towards the two of us. If I'm honest, he gets on my damn nerves.

Dean is the type of guy who makes up his mind about you and doesn't care to change it. He is the only guy I've ever regretted flirting with. Instead of lulling him into stupidity, it set off all of his warning bells. I don't know what the hell happened to him, but it really fucked him up. He pushes and shoves me further and further away from him at every available chance. The sad thing is, I haven't even tried to get close to him in quite some time. As a matter of fact, I decided to leave him be after the first week. He's damaged goods, and scary as fuck.

A sudden bout of panic begins to bubble in my chest. It's then that I notice his determined stride. I know it's meant for me, but what the hell is he…

Oh shit.

"Castiel. Move. Now."

We lock gazes for a moment before he turns and starts the process of fleeing. Unfortunately, he doesn't get far.

"What the…?!"

Dean looks at me nastily before pulling Castiel into a possessive kiss. Fuck lying right now. I'm fucking _pissed_.

"Son of a bitch…" I grind out from between gnashed teeth.

"It's not polite to talk about someone's mother like that, Megan," he chides snarkily as he releases Castiel and waltzes off.

He did it to piss me off, I know it. Still, I can't deny the wave of pure, unadulterated rage that washes over me. I close my eyes to take a moment to gather myself. Before they close all the way, however, I see Castiel doing the exact same thing.

Told you.

After a few calming breaths, I open my eyes up again and turn to the guy before me.

"Library?"

"Meet you there."

We both walk off in opposite directions, saying nothing of what just happened. Senior year definitely just got more interesting…

**~D*C~**

**Dean, Dean, Dean. Tsk tsk! The connection between Cas and Meg has been established, and a lot of drama is going to come of it. This story has taken on a mind of its own, but I'm not complaining. Things are going to get really interesting from here on out. And in the next chapter, a new player is revealed. Review time! I really appreciate all of the follows and favorites, but I'd really like to see more reviews. Feedback helps me be a better writer. On to the next chapter ^-^**


	7. Chapter Five

**My December**

**A/N: **This chapter is a little darker than the last. We see Dean and Sam at home, and Dean deals with the drama of a surprise late night visit.

**Setting: **We pick up at the end of the day from the last chapter. The beginning takes place at school, but the bulk of it is at Sam and Dean's home. Still in the past.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

**~D*C~**

**Chapter Five: **Irvine

**Dean's POV**

The silence is deafening.

I calmly take a step forward, hands held in the air. I stop as I notice everyone take a step back, even Coach. The looks of sheer terror that surround me are freaking me the hell out.

"Look, guys. I promise I won't hurt anyone. Seriously."

They share cautious looks between them, obviously contemplating their possible demises. I sigh. It's my own fault, but still…

"You…you sure, son?" Coach asks evenly. I can tell he's afraid that I'm going to explode at any minute, which is kinda sorta true, if I'm honest. However, I'm currently reigning in my anger. They are safe for the time being.

"Yeah, Coach, I am."

He looks back at the rest of the team before stepping slowly in my direction. I breathe a sigh of relief as the others start to follow. Unfortunately, they mistake it as a sign of frustration and stop dead in their tracks. My ire rises once again.

"Alright, you fucking group of pansies. Stop acting like a troupe of bitches and grow a fucking pair! You're all gonna man up and get back to practice. Capiche?!"

No one says a word as they get a move on. I run my fingers through my hair in frustration. Sure, I shouldn't have went off like I did, but that goddamn Adam brings out the worst in me. Fucking dipshit.

Practice resumes, albeit a bit anxiously.

~D*C~

"Winchester?"

I glance up from my phone to meet the fearful gaze of the aforementioned idiot. Damn my luck…

"Yes, Adam?" I ask slowly. I already know what he's going to say, and I really don't give a shit. He's annoying.

"I…uh…erm…I didn't mean anything…nothing…at all…earlier…" he fumbles. His eye twitches nervously.

"Adam, get to the fucking point already," I growl, my patience wearing thin.

"It's cool if you are, Dean. I mean, we've all messed around or whatever. Right guys? I mean…yeah…we're all a little gay, right?"

I honestly don't know whether to be amused or pissed, especially at the resounding affirmation around the room. Seriously?! Who says this shit?

When I had kissed Cas earlier, it was for one purpose, and one purpose only…to piss Meg off. I saw how she was looking at him. She wasn't all over him like she usually was with any other guy, but I could just tell that there was something there. It was…some sort of understanding, a 'meeting of beasts,' if you will.

Meg gets under my skin, and she knows it. When I saw the two of them together, I just reacted. Revenge is a dish best served cold, and I had the perfect chance. He seemed to be some sort of balance for her, which oddly doesn't surprise me. I mean, he's everything she's not (and quite honestly needs to be), so it's not completely out of the realm of possibilities for the two of them to connect. I knew that I could disturb that connection for many days to come, so I simply acted on it. Cas and I really don't know one another, and I honestly have no problem with that. He's better off not knowing me. Meg, however, is another case.

She's annoying as fuck, and doesn't understand my need for space. Ever since that first day, she's made it a point to place herself in my proximity, which is not a place that _anyone _should be. She's not stupid, so I know she knows this. However, I can tell she also likes to flirt with danger. She really thinks that she's a force to be reckoned with. Ha! I can chew her up and spit her out without even trying. Stupid bitch.

"Adam, I'm not gay," I point out bluntly. I'm not lying, per se, but I'm not telling the entire truth either. I've never really _cared _about gender and sexuality as much as I should. As with everything else in my life, I've just kinda lived through it.

"But you kissed a guy!" he exclaims. I look at him uninterestedly.

"And? At least I didn't go any further."

With that, I gather my things and exit the locker room with a smirk set firmly in place. I decide to stop my Coach's office on the way out.

"Coach?" I try not to flinch as he jumps at the sound of my voice.

"You okay, son? You had me really fucking scared out there." I can't fight the blush that heats up my face.

"Yeah. Sorry about that. He just gets on my goddamn last nerve…" I state, temper flaring at the mere _thought _of my unfortunate teammate.

"I can understand that. Just warn me next time? I'm not sure my heart can take that shit again."

I chuckle softly as I nod. With a small wave, I make my exit. I guess I should explain what happened, huh.

When I had first walked onto the field, Adam had slapped my ass. Now, in most sports, guys do that to one another quite often as a token of manly affection or what have you. With Adam, though, it felt different.

Obviously, we haven't really been on the best terms since day one. I don't dislike the guy. He just gets on my damn nerves. He's annoying and stupid. Hell, I see why Cas won't help him.

Seeing as my feelings aren't in the more 'positive' range, I found it odd that he'd feel comfortable enough to touch me, let alone my ass. So, in true Dean Winchester fashion, I asked him what the fuck he thought he was doing? He smiled and told me I liked it, to which the rest of the team laughed. I didn't see shit funny, so I let my rage take over and threatened to dismember every single one of them if they didn't tell me what the fuck was going on. Thus, the fearful flee to the other side of the field.

Coach had come out to see what all the silence was about, ironically enough, and I had all but growled at him. He too fled to the other side. I don't take pride in my temper, but I do have to say…

That was pretty fucking impressive.

"Dean!"

I smirk as I see Sammy waiting by the Impala, waving with his usual goofy grin in place. It's time to head home.

~D*C~

"Did you really have to kiss the poor guy, though?"

I chuckle lightly to myself as I remember the shocked expression on both Cas' and Meg's faces. I'll apologize to him either tomorrow or Monday. It's not hard to find him. Most everyone avoids him like the fucking plague. I wonder just how many of them he's punched in the throat…

"I know, Sammy, I know. I just wanted to fuck with Meg. That's all," I reply, shrugging. We've been home for about an hour or so. Sam sits at the kitchen table, working on some homework while I wash the dishes from the night before. What can I say, I'm kinda sorta domestic when I wanna be.

"Are you sure about that?"

I pause, letting the plate in my hand slide slowly back into the sink. He would ask some shit like that.

I haven't been really attracted to anyone in a long time, a _really _long time. I'll be the first to admit, Castiel is a _very _attractive guy. He's fit, firm, and doesn't take any shit. If I wasn't so fucked up, I'd pursue him in a heartbeat. Unfortunately, I'm no good to anyone at the moment. I wouldn't dare bring anyone into this 'fold of fucking madness' that I call my life.

"I'm sure."

He doesn't ask anything else, returning his attention to whatever the hell he's been assigned. I look up, staring out the window for a bit.

When we moved back, we moved back into the old house that Mom and Dad used to live in before Sammy and I were born. It's a quaint little space, but it works for the two of us. Singer comes around every other day to check on us, which is good. I feel a lot better knowing that I have someone else to keep an eye out on things. I'm more than capable of handling things, but it never hurts to have help.

I turn back to Sammy, the familiar stirrings of hunger starting to pull for my attention.

"Whatcha wanna eat tonight? Should I order out or cook?"

I smirk as he toys with the idea. I'm proud to say that I can cook, and pretty damn well at that! I had to learn when Dad started leaving for long periods of time. I had started dragging Sam to Ellen's so that I could watch her cook. She quickly picked up on what I was doing and began to show me things. The rest is history…

I frown at the thought of Ellen. She was like our mother-figure when we needed her the most. When she and Jo left, it was…hard, to say the least. I've kind of gotten over it, but not really. I could've handled it better had they told me they were leaving. I couldn't blame them, but still. I was left to quickly adapt and make changes and all that bullshit. Poor Sam was devastated.

I've still got to make my way over to talk to her. I plan on going this weekend while Sammy's away from the house for a bit. He doesn't need to be witness to the shit that's more than likely going to hit the fucking fan.

"Let's order takeout tonight. It's been a long day," he says pointedly, staring directly into my eyes. I shrug, not really minding his caring for once. He tries to take care of me, which I appreciate more than he knows, but it sometimes grates on my nerves. I'm the big brother here, so the caring is my responsibility.

I reach over by the phone and grab the phonebook, tossing it to Sammy as I walk by.

"Call it in. I'm going to shower." I wink at him from the doorway.

"Ass."

"Bitch."

One day, he'll learn.

I always win.

~D*C~

I abruptly sit up in bed, glancing around quickly. My senses are ablaze, and I can feel something pulling at my consciousness. I swiftly make my way out of bed and into the hallway, pausing to check on Sammy. Thankfully, he's sprawled out and effectively dead to the world.

As I near the end of the hall, I stop to gather my wits. I've felt this before, and I can't fight the dread that empties into my system. It's been a long time, and many, many miles since I've been awoken like this. I can only pray that my instincts are wrong this one time.

I creep down the stairs, making sure no sound is made. If there is anything I can at least thank the son of a bitch for, it's the 'shadier' things that I learned from him. _How _I learned them is an entirely different subject.

As I descend the last step, I hear the familiar rumble of an old Ford pickup. My eyes widen as the sick realization hits me. I know this isn't going to be good.

Running off of pure instinct, I quickly turn and make my way to the top of the stairwell. I close the door that I had Bobby install there, and lock it. I quickly slide the key under the door as I hear a loud banging on the door.

"Sammy, do not open that door! It's him! He's here!"

Not waiting for an answer, I make my way downstairs. I know he heard me, and I hate to do that to him, but it's for his own good.

I take a deep breath and rip the door open.

~D*C~

**Sam's POV**

"Sammy, do not open that door! It's him! He's here!"

I jump out of bed, looking around wide-eyed and nervous. There's only one person he could be talking about, and I just don't wanna believe it. We've been so happy here, and now it's all going to be ruined.

"Dean…" I whisper as I race out the door.

I drop to my knees as I realize he has me locked in. Son of a bitch! There's no telling exactly what to expect when John Winchester blows into town. Dean is down there all alone, and I can't do anything!

"Please let him be okay. Please let him be okay," I mumble to myself as the tears begin to fall. I don't want to cry, but I can't help it. I'm just so fucking frustrated. Dean's going to be a total wreck after this!

I look up, and notice the key in the floor. I slowly crawl over to get it, meekly taking it in my hand. I feel like the kid who used to hide in the closet and cry all those years ago. I want so bad to go out there and confront him, tell him he's not welcome here. I want him to go away forever! I know, though, that I couldn't. I'd freeze up and make things worse.

I shake my head, clearing my thoughts. I stand up and make my way back into my room. I close the door and lock it before picking up my phone. I quickly dial Bobby, knowing that we're gonna need him soon. As soon as he picks up, I say the only two words I need to…

"He's here."

~D*C~

**Dean's POV**

"Holy shit! John! What the fuck?!"

I stare down at the crimson stain on my tee as he pushes past. He's bruised and bloody, which is no fucking surprise.

"I need your help, son. Now," he grumbles as he tries to clean himself off in the sink. I want to fucking vomit at the sight.

I rush over and spin his ass around. He's shocked, but only for a moment. I point directly in his face.

"No. Goddammit, I told you we were through. I am done with you!"

He reaches out and grabs me by my shirt, forcefully dragging me forward. I glare as we come eye to eye…

"You listen to me, you little shit. I'm your goddamn father, and you're damn well going to respect me. I. Need. Your. Help."

Like Jo did weeks ago, I spit in his face and shove away from him. She did learn that from me, after all…

"Fuck you! Get the hell out of this house!" He wipes his face and laughs maliciously.

"I'm not moving, and you can't do _shit _about it. If you won't help me, I bet little Sammy will."

Before I can stop myself, I've drawn back and knocked the shit out of him. He stumbles to the side before back-handing me in return.

"Fuck!" we both say at the same time. Unlike him, I don't move. I've taken much worse from him and others before. Hell, it's because of him I took licks from the others!

"Why do you have to be so goddamn stubborn, Dean?!" he bellows out.

"Because you won't fucking go away!" I roar back at him.

I can tell from the shape that he's in that his latest 'job' didn't go as planned. Whoever it was, he fought back…and hard. I smirk at him.

"How did it feel getting the hell beat out of you?"

"Fuck off, boy!"

He steps towards me, backing me into the corner. I swiftly grab a knife from the block on the counter, aiming it for his eye. He catches my wrist and pushes it back. I change hands and swing the other way. Unfortunately, he rushes me and catches me by the throat, lifting me off of my feet. I glare down at him.

"Stop fighting me!"

"I'll die first!" I gasp out as I draw my leg up. I use all of my strength to kick him dead in the center of his chest. He stumbles back as I drop to the floor.

"Shit!" we cough in unison. Like monster, like son, I guess…

I recover faster than he does, stalking over to him with a purpose. I kick him down to the floor, kneeling down as he hits the floor. I lift his chin with the end of the knife…

"You know, I want nothing more than to cut your fucking throat," I say rather uninterestedly. He glares back.

"Do it then. At least then I'll be with your mother!" At that, I stand up and move away from him.

"You'd only be so lucky."

I move towards the doorway, wanting to place some distance between us.

"I'm not helping you, John Winchester."

"It's just one job, Dean, that's all." I roll my eyes. It's never 'just one job.'

"You're a liar, and you know it. I'm done with that life. My hands will _not _be covered in blood like yours."

Before he can say anything further, Singer bursts through the front door. He looks at me, and then looks at him. I shrug as I move out of the way.

"Come 'ere, you idjit. The fuck you doing here?!" Bobby grumbles. Silence is his only reply.

"Get him out of here, will you? I've got school in the morning."

Without a word, both men make their way outside. Bobby doesn't let my dad say a word, although I can tell that he wants to so badly. I close my door and lock it when they both drive off. He may not have said it, but I know that this is far from over.

I race upstairs, knocking on the door to let Sammy know the coast is clear. I don't have time to think as the door is ripped open, and I find myself with an armful of Sam.

"Thank God you're okay!" he whispers harshly against my neck. I gently pat him on the back.

"I'm fine, Sammy. We're fine." He nods as he pulls away.

I rub his arm before making my way to my room. I don't say anything as he follows closely behind. We both climb into bed, leaning back against the headboard. I sigh, knowing exactly what's about to happen.

Sam doesn't move as I lay my head down in his lap. There's no need for words to be exchanged. I close my eyes as the tears start. I slowly let the walls come down, sobbing for all that I am worth. Sammy runs his fingers gently through my hair. This is how we spend the rest of our night.

**~D*C~**

**Things got rather intense at the end, huh? I hope you guys like! There's one more chapter, and then another Interlude. The next chapter is kinda fluffy, but I think you guys will like it. Anywho, review time! Let me know what you guys think! I appreciate all of the follows and favorites, but they aren't telling me what's going on in you guys' heads. I really like feedback. Till next time!**


	8. Chapter Six

**My December**

**A/N: **As I said last chapter, this one is definitely a lot lighter. It's actually quite fluffy and cute. Enjoy it, though, because the next Interlude is going to be quite heavy. And a special thanks to aramit for the lovely review, and to nimthriel, as always, for being my wonderful beta. I absolutely _adore _this girl ^-^

**Setting:** This chapter is set the next day during school. It starts during the middle of the day Friday, and ends Saturday afternoon.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

**~D*C~**

**Chapter Six: **How I Feel

**Castiel's POV**

"Ow! Shit! Cas! What the fuck?!"

"Shut up, or be shut up."

"Whatever."

We weave our way through the crowd, effortlessly navigating our way away from the stares and the questions. My grip tightens as I stride determinedly towards the exit leading to the courtyard. He's stubborn, but the speed with which I move us prevents him from halting our charge.

"Cas, you don't have to…"

"Shut it."

It was just like in those high school movies when he and Sam entered the lunchroom. To me, and I'm sure it was the same for everyone else, it happened in slow motion. The doors slowly swung open as the two of them walked in. Dean was the first one to enter, Sam trailing a little ways behind. Everyone stopped and stared, tension permeating throughout the room. Then, the whispers started. To be honest, I was waiting for the music to start playing at some point…

But I digress.

Meg and I were across the room when they entered, but we could both see the way Dean walked in with a 'fuck with me and die' aura about him. I remember Meg's words ringing in my ears, her words echoing my thoughts. That's the thing I've come to love about Meg. We just _get _one another. There's no need to converse and all that. No. One look or movement says it all.

"_The gates are about to bust wide open on that one. Fuck damage. This is a full-on break."_

Truer words couldn't have been spoken. Dean looked about two seconds away from crumbling to pieces. Meg and I shared a look, communicating without words. The feather-light touch of her fingertips to mine sent me across the room and to Dean. So, here I am.

The moment my hand hits the cool glass of the exit, I let out the breath I wasn't aware I was holding. We walk a few feet away from the building to where no one can see us. I finally release his wrist before turning to look at him.

His sharp green eyes watch me closely as I take in the bruises on his face and neck. I've never been really subtle, so it's not surprising that before long, I'm touching him and turning his head this way and that. He doesn't wince or anything, which tells me this is nothing new. As a matter of fact, I can see the telltale signs of old scars and whatnot. Meg wasn't lying when she said he's damaged goods.

"Shit…" I mutter to myself. I couldn't imagine _what _it'd be like to go through whatever the hell Dean went through, but I can't help but respect and admire him. His strength is amazing.

I want badly to ask about…well…_everything_! He's such an enigma, and I can't help but be drawn in. Meg and I have talked about him a bit, especially right after the infamous kiss. Still, neither of us knows anything about him other than he's tough as nails and has some serious issues that remain to be revealed. The burden he's carrying around is ridiculous, especially for someone our age. Whatever emotional and physical turmoil he's experiencing, it is definitely something the likes that I've never seen.

My breath catches in my throat as my hand grazes his swollen jaw. My eyes catch his as a lone tear trails down my face. His eyes flood with unshed tears, and my heart clenches painfully. I've never seen anything like this, everyone around here living a relatively uneventful life. Hell, I live in a freaking mansion with a highly religious family, albeit humanly tethered.

Abuse is something that I've heard about on TV and in classes, but I never thought I'd actually see it in person. My palm gently cups his cheek, willing whatever pain there to go away. I'm admittedly an asshole of the greatest kind to most, but when you look at the masses, you tend to understand. However, there are some people who I genuinely care about, and subsequently show my softer side. I want to do the same to Dean, but I stop myself.

I respect him more than that.

Dean is a special case. When most people encounter those who are enduring traumatic events, they end up showing them a pitying kindness that is best saved for Lifetime movies. Dean, however, is not one of those people you do that to. He's dealing with whatever it is, and doesn't need any charity from anyone. What he needs is for someone to be real with him, to treat him as he like life really _is _fucked up, and things might not be much better in the morning.

His eyes darken as he takes his thumb and wipes at my tear track.

"Cas," he whispers, sounding for all-the world like a broken man. Not a single tear has fallen, and I can tell that it's purely instinctual for him not to cry. He's become innately wired to protect himself, sealing away all forms of disclosure other than that of strength and resilience. Inside, I know he wants to scream and cry and probably destroy a few things, but he keeps it all strictly internalized. That's exactly why I brought him out here, away from everyone else and their inquisitive stares.

"You don't have to explain or whatever to me, Dean. I just figured you'd need the air once everyone got a good look at you."

He nods slowly before looking off, clearly sinking deep into his thoughts. I remove my hand from his face, dropping it down to my side. I jump slightly as he quickly takes it in his own, lightly teasing my fingers ever so softly.

A gentle breeze sweeps through, swiftly passing between us with its gentle caress. Neither of us speaks, simply letting the moment be. I've never been one for any form of 'intimacy,' so to speak, so this is definitely something new for me. I don't exactly dislike people, per se, but I'm not too keen on being close to anyone in such a manner. I have friends, like Jo and Charlie and Sam, but none of them are touchy in any way. Jo hits me from time to time, but that's neither here nor there. This is something new.

"Thank you, Castiel."

His intense green eyes bear into mine as he speaks, his rich, deep voice reaching out and caressing my ears. I smirk in return.

"We're using my full name now, hm?" I ask playfully. He lightly chuckles before pulling me into a tight hug.

All of my senses cease to exist almost _immediately_. His embrace is warm, loving in a way that I've never experienced, not even from my own father. I remember Sam talking about his own brother's hugs one day…wait…Dean _is _Sam's brother. Small world…

My heart stops when he rests his cheek against my head, completely surrounding me in…_him_. It's a unique feeling being hugged by Dean. For him to be all dark or whatever, his hug is like the promise of a better tomorrow. You just _know _that you're going to be happy and loved and just feel this overall _amazingness _that will be truly unparalleled by anything else in the world. I honestly don't ever want him to let me go…

"_When my brother hugs you, he doesn't just hug your body. He hugs your soul."_

Sam wasn't lying.

When he pulls back, I almost want to cry. I feel like the angel who's Cloud Nine has been ripped away, never to be seen again…

"I've gotta go. See ya around."

With that, he's gone. Just like the breeze, he floats away so swiftly, I don't have time to miss him. However, I do hear his voice before he's completely gone…

"You're still Cas, though. Full names only piss me off."

I smile at that.

~D*C~

**Sam's POV**

"I didn't know the two of you had met already!"

"Mhm."

I laugh as Cas pokes me in the chest. He finally pieced it together that Dean and I are brothers. In his defense, though, today is the first time he has seen the two of us together. I'll admit that I'm a little sad at this turn of events. I'd hoped that I could play matchmaker while the two of them were unaware of the connection, but whatever. It kind of seems like I don't even have to do _that _anymore anyway.

"Oh well. The damage is done, as they say. Thanks for whatever you did, though. He was in a much better place when we left school today."

When I first saw Cas pulling Dean from the cafeteria, I was like 'what the fuck?' I mean, I had already seen Dean kiss the poor guy, but I didn't realize that he actually _knew _who Cas was. I figured he just saw that Meg was chatting him up and decided to fuck up her moment (and any future ones she'd have with the guy). Luckily, Meg had run up to me and told me that they knew one another from a couple of random conversations. Then it clicked.

"I'm glad. He looked rather determined when you both walked in, and I knew that everyone would jump on it as soon as they came to their senses. You two wouldn't have had any peace during your lunch."

I nod in agreement. I had told Dean it wouldn't be a bad idea to skip school today after what had happened last night, but he was determined not to let Dad's visit disrupt our lives. I felt the same way, but knew that realistically, it already had. Hell, he had spent the entire night crying angry tears and stewing in a pit of rage. It's happened many times before, but this was the worst. We thought we had finally found a place where he wouldn't come to bother us, but I see we were wrong…so wrong…

"Sam?"

I jump at the sound of Cas' voice, my thoughts having consumed all of my attention. I smile at him sheepishly. I go to apologize, but Charlie walks up and takes a seat beside Cas. All words cease to exist for the time being…

"Hey guys! How's life?!" she beams happily. I can only smile in response.

I've come to the realization that I have a thing for Charlie. It might just be a crush, but whatever it is, I like it. I've never really had a girlfriend, what with the shitty life I have. Therefore, I don't have much experience in that department, sadly. At some point, I'm going to ask Dean about this feeling, but I'm not ready to deal with that just yet. His explanations on things are…_interesting_, to say the least. I know that I'll never be the same afterwards, so I'm going to wait until I know for sure it's worth asking him about.

"Peachy, just peachy," Cas chirps in feigned exuberance. I can't help but snicker at his antics.

"Oh, don't be such a bitch, Cassie," she admonishes lightly, swatting him upside the head.

"Why do all the women in my life _hit _me?!" he grumbles. Charlie and I both erupt into laughter.

"Oh Cas, it's because nine times out of ten, you deserve it," I chide, earning a giggle and a smile from Charlie. I swear I melt inside.

"Whatever."

We idly chat for a little while longer until Charlie has to go. As she gets up to leave, she gives Cas a light squeeze and then moves over to my side. I smile softly at her, expecting a quick squeeze just like Cas received, but find myself pleasantly surprised upon receiving a gentle peck on the cheek.

"See ya later, Hotshot!" she says with a wink. I don't even try to fight the blush that colors my cheeks.

Yeah, I'll be talking to Dean real soon…

~D*C~

**Dean's POV**

"Dean!"

"What?!"

"Answer the door!"

I grumble a rather long string of profanities as I wake from my peaceful bout of much needed sleep. For the first time in a long time, I was able to enjoy a full night's rest. My mind runs a hundred miles an hour, senses always alert just in case _he _decides to pay us an unexpected visit. I never know when John Winchester is going to come crashing back into our lives, so I've trained myself to sleep lightly lest anything happen.

I roll out of bed and make my way downstairs, cursing whoever's outside the damn door. I check the clock in the foyer so that I can decide just how deep I need to rip into the unfortunate soul that awoke me from my delightful slumber. My jaw almost hits the fucking floor when I see that it's after one in the afternoon. Holy shit!

"Sam, get your lazy ass up! It's after one! We've slept off our fucking Saturday!" I yell while wrenching the door open. I turn to yell at whoever's in front of me, but stop abruptly when I see none other than Cas standing there looking rather amused.

"Cas?"

"Nice sleepwear," he deadpans before stepping around me and entering my home without permission. I sleep in nothing but my underwear, so I'm not the least bit surprised by his commentary. I shrug nonetheless.

I follow him into the kitchen where he's currently chatting with Sam. I lean again the doorframe, watching the two of them interact. It's the first time that anyone besides Bobby has been in our home here, so it's kinda weird seeing someone else here. My instincts scream at me to pitch his ass out, but for once, I decide to ignore them. Sam seems super excited for Cas to be here, so I'ma let it go. Besides, Dad's made a visit recently, so it'll be at least another month before he comes back.

"You okay?"

My eyes move up lazily to catch his electric blue gaze, a languid smirk gracing my lips. I nod, the lines of concern dissipating from his features at the gesture.

"Yea. So, what brings you here, Novak?" I ask casually, breezing past him to grab a bottle of water from the fridge. I say nothing of the way his eyes follow my every movement. Once again, I have to stop my instincts from kicking in. I close my eyes for a second, mentally forcing my walls back down. As I've said before, I don't do closeness anymore. People get hurt when they become tangled in the fucked up web of my life, and Cas _really _doesn't deserve it. He's already stepped too close to the line, and I can't afford for him to come any further.

"What, no question on how I found you?" he retorts playfully. I chuckle.

"You've dropped Sam off after all of your little 'dates,' remember?" He and Sam both roll their eyes as I smirk victoriously at the two of them.

"So?" I ask again, turning towards him fully to stare directly into his eyes. He returns the look for a bit before looking off.

"I honestly came to check on you, Dean. You left so abruptly yesterday, and I didn't get to see you the rest of the day either."

"And I didn't say a word because I know how you are!" adds Sammy-boy. I just look at him blankly.

"Well, other than the fact that I'm standing here in nothing but camouflage boxer briefs, I'm fine, as you can see." Once again, he takes me in completely, watching every move I make like a fucking hawk. I'd be lying if I said it wasn't the hottest thing I'd ever seen. Stupid fucking hormones…

"So…um…Cas! Yeah…um…you wanna hang out?"

We both turn to look at Sam, although I notice Cas' eyes flickering over in my direction. My brother flushes slightly from the attention, so I decide to let him off the hook. I turn to look at Cas instead, who simply shrugs. I turn back to Sam.

"He agrees. You two sort out the details while I go upstairs and shower. I can't go out looking like this," I say dismissively before waltzing out of the kitchen and towards the stairs.

"Dean!"

I turn around, coming face to face with an unreadable Castiel standing in front of me. The air around us seems to thicken almost immediately, anxious energy shooting through my body at his darkened stare. I've seen that look before on my own face, and I don't like it.

"What's up…" I draw out slowly. He doesn't say anything in return, which really sets me on high alert.

After another minute, I decide to end this standoff. I go to say something, but never get the chance. His lips descend upon mine in a chaste but determined kiss. I don't dare move for fear of shattering this fragile moment. No thoughts, no feelings, no _nothing _exists for me right now. All I know is Castiel, and that scares the _shit _out of me.

Ever so slowly does he pull away finally, and I _immediately _miss the contact. His breath against my lips as he whispers sends shivers up and down my spine.

"Now we're even."

I can't help but laugh loudly as he walks away.

"Cas, you really are something…"

**~D*C~**

**I hope you guys like this one. I'm really pleased with how it came out. There's going to be more Dean and Cas as the chapters progress from here, but others are about to come in and threaten the delicate balance between the two of them. And the reason behind the final betrayal is finally going to start becoming much clearer. Pay attention to the little things because they are going to be what blows up into the big thing. Interlude is next! Review time!**


	9. Interlude Two

**My December**

**A/N: **And here's another update for you guys! It's super heavy, but super sexy as well. I hope you guys like it.

**Setting:** It's another Interlude, so we're back in the present. Hours have passed since the last one.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

**~D*C~**

**Interlude Two: **All I Know

**Castiel's POV**

"You'wre mad."

"Yeah, kid, I am."

Scout had come home a few hours ago, but only for a little while. Bobby was originally going to just drop him off, but when he saw the state we were both in, he decided he was going to keep Scout for the night.

I sigh as tiny hands wipe at the never-ending streams of tears that won't cease to fall. I offer him a watery smile, but he just continues to determinedly cleanse my face. His little face is _so _focused…

"I think you have a weak," he says as he sits back on his haunches. I can't help but laugh.

"I don't have a leak, Scout. I'm just really upset about something, is all."

"Daddy was bad, wasn't he?" he asks, disapproval written all over his face. Dean said Scout is ridiculously in tune with things, and now I believe him.

"If you wove him, you will tewll him. Peopwle who wove each other will communi-whatever. Do you not wove him?" My mouth falls open slightly at that. Damn…

"Where did you hear that?"

"Daddy," he says matter-of-factly, looking at me rather pointedly. I know Dean was talking about me, and I swear Scout knows it.

"Do you?" he pushes. I avert my gaze from his, not willing to lie to the child's face.

He huffs, crossing his arms and glaring at me before turning his back to me. I feel like shit when he does, knowing that I've successfully pissed off both father _and _son. Yay me.

Once again, I sigh. Dean and I hadn't spoken to each other after the 'incident' had occurred. I was beyond hurt. I've done some cruel things during my life, but that…_that_ was just wrong on _all _fucking levels. He was _so _damn cold to me, not even bothering to acknowledge my existence. I had gathered what little dignity I had left and put myself back together. He never once looked at me, which hurt more than if he had flung insults and obscenities at me. I could have taken that a hell of a lot better.

"I shouldn't have cried," I mumble to myself.

I had tried to fight it, but the tears just couldn't be held at bay. The hurt was just far too great to hold in. I wanted to be mad at him. I wanted to yell and scream and _rage_ at him about how truly fucked up that shit was. I just couldn't, though, not when I was faced with all of the things _I _had done to him. Hell, being left limp and broken on the floor is _nothing _compared to what how I left him. Two wrongs don't make a right, but with how shitty this particular situation is, normal rules do _not _apply.

"Singer! I'm weady to go!"

I jump at the sound of Scout's voice, having been lost in my own thoughts. He spares me a rather dark glare before huffing and turning back around. I look away as Bobby walks back into the room.

"Sorry, kid. Was attempting to get a word out of your father, but the idjit ain't budging," he growls. He looks at me apologetically for just a moment before focusing back on Scout.

"They are _both _stupid," Scout deadpans as he slides off my lap. Bobby and I both gawk at him.

He, however, ignores us as he tugs on his overnight bag and moves to the door. Bobby nods at me solemnly before heading out the door behind Scout. Before stepping out completely, Scout turns around and looks at me one last time…

"You both gotta make it wight. It takes two, you know," he shoots before stepping out and pulling the door closed behind him. I'm left speechless.

"He's right, you know."

I nearly jump out of my skin at the sound of Dean's voice. He moves slowly towards the couch where I'm sitting, looking a little worse for wear. I can only imagine what Bobby said to him.

He drags a hand down his face, haunted green eyes seeming even more weighed down than they were when we first saw each other.

"I'm sorry," he says after a while. The pain rasping his voice tears at my heart.

"I remember when I was a kid…well, a teen, actually. Mom's death was fresh on Dad's mind, and he had all but become a fucking vigilante. Unfortunately, I became the Tonto to his Lone Ranger. Anyway, one time, when I was out 'helping' him, I found myself cornered by some woman."

He pauses for a minute, focusing on the memory. This is the first time that Dean's shared his past with me, and it makes my heart hurt.

The day that I left, he was _so _happy before I dropped the proverbial bomb on him. I remember his smile, the biggest and brightest smile I had ever seen in my entire life. He had held my face in his hands, beaming _so _beautifully.

"_I'm ready, Castiel Novak, I am so ready. We've got our future ahead of us, and I think it's only appropriate that I tell you everything. I'm going to share my past with you."_

The way he looked when I told him not to was…it wasn't good. Even now, I can't stand to even think about it, let alone speak about it. I almost wish I would've left him then like he left me today. He could've gotten over that much easier.

I silence my thoughts as he begins to speak again.

"She was…beautiful, to say the least. I didn't know who she was or where she had come from, but I just knew that she was trouble. She was a predator, and I was about to become her unwilling victim. You see, my dad had left her one night, much like how you had left me. She hadn't told him, but he had been her first. Even then, I could definitely see why she was so pissed."

He looks me directly in my eyes.

"She had me pinned to the wall with my lower-half bared for all to see before I had time to think. She glowered at me with a sick mixture of pity and hatred. 'What I'm about to do to you is going to be horrible. You may never forgive me, but I'll never forgive me either. This is the only way I know to hurt him, though. If there's anything you'll take away from this, it's that revenge must be of equal or greater value for it to truly be revenge,' she had said. She then proceeded to take my virginity from me, marking me so that my father couldn't help but know what had happened. He didn't say anything, though. He just told me to get it together so that we could move on to our next 'job.'"

I keep my expressions and emotions in check, but it is _so_ hard.

"I just did the same thing to you, minus the part about the v-card, and I shouldn't have. You didn't deserve that kind of treatment." I nod, but I honestly can't say that I agree with him on that.

"Cas, I've been seeing someone. A therapist, to be more exact," he mutters, looking away from me.

He stands up, moving across the room before leaning back against the mantle.

"I was going to tell you everything when you left. I was _that _ready to be with you, Cas. When you left, I became a total wreck. About four years ago, I decided to go see someone."

I frown before looking up at him curiously.

"Wasn't that around the time Scout was born?" He nods, and my frown deepens.

"That's another story for another time, Cas. Just know that I ended up seeking out a shrink afterwards. I've been seeing her since, learning to share my past so that I can have a future. We've gotten through it all, but you are the one person that I wanted more than anyone to know."

I move from my seat on the couch to stand before him. My heart stops as I see that he's crying. This is only the second time I've ever seen him cry so openly, the first being when I left.

"Tell me, Dean, share your past with me. I won't leave until you're ready for me to." He stares into my eyes, searching them for any sign of deception. He won't find any.

"Don't promise me, okay? Just in case," he whispers. I want so badly to argue with him, but I see exactly where he's coming from. I broke my promise the last time, so…

"Okay," I whisper back.

Before I know what's happening, our lips are locked in an extremely passionate kiss. My body sets ablaze as his deft hands find purchase on each and every inch of bare skin they can find. As his lips trail down me next, I can't help but let loose a loud moan of pure pleasure.

My legs automatically wrap around his waist when I feel his strong hands grab ahold of my ass, lifting me off of my feet. We continue to kiss as he moves us towards the dining table. The moment I'm perched on the wooden surface, I'm tearing off his shirt and showering his muscular chest in kisses. My own shirt never made it back on from earlier, so he goes straight for my pants.

"God, how I've missed this," he moans hotly in my ear as he works on removing his own pants. Soon enough, we're both naked and kissing like our lives depend on it. With one sweep, everything that was on the table is now on the floor, our bodies replacing it almost immediately.

We soon find ourselves completely drowned in pleasure, our bodies indulging in the familiar dance of wandering hands and lusting lips. It's almost like we never broke up…like there was never a gap in our coupling. However, there is just enough…_something _to remind us that we did in fact end…and badly.

Instead of the usual fiery drive to conquer one another, there's an apologetic undertone that is a firm reminder of just how we ended up here and why. I force myself to stop thinking and just feel.

I wrap my legs tightly around Dean's waist and pull him close, letting him know _exactly _what I want. He doesn't waste any time, lifting my hips and lining up with my entrance. We forfeit the use of protection and lube. I may be dating someone, but I'm not sleeping with anyone. I've denied myself that pleasure as a sort of penance, so to speak. And it's more than obvious that Dean hasn't been with anyone besides Scout's mother, whoever she may be.

"Oh Dean," I moan as he pushes deep inside of me, settling into a languid pace at first. Soon enough, however, he's pistoning in and out at a vicious pace. It's rough, aggressive, and purely emotional.

"Cas…so tight…oh so tight," he gasps out as we move together. I claw desperately at his back, pretty sure that I'm drawing blood. Neither of us particularly _cares _at the moment, though. It's all about the connection, the sensation of being together again after five long years.

"Cum deep inside of me, Dean," I cry out as his strokes begin to become more erratic. I always knew when he was getting close. I don't know exactly _how _I knew, but I did.

"I want you to remember this, Cas..remember _me_! No matter what happens after this, just _please_…remember me…" he whispers as he cums. His orgasm is intense, every burst of seed sending electric jolts throughout my body. I feel every bit of it.

As I look up at him, I see something swirling in his verdant depths, a want that shoots desire straight to my groin. He pulls out of me and rolls us over, never once breaking our gaze. He does just as I did earlier, using his legs to pull me in line with his waiting entrance. I almost want to cry because of the significance.

"You sure?" I ask softly. His answer is wordless, impaling himself slowly in one go. He wants this, his hole slick and welcoming with the sheer desire to be filled completely. Dean is in no way submissive, and I don't expect him to ever become so. This is his way of expressing his willingness to forgive. I too do not know what the future holds for us, but I know this moment here is paving the moment for at least a remotely positive tomorrow.

Like I said, Dean is not submissive. As such, it is not surprising at all when he starts all but fucking himself on my shaft. I push all thoughts aside and start meeting his movements with full-force thrusts of my own. As with before, it's not gentle, but that's what we both want. This is all about us, nothing more, nothing less.

"Goddamn, Dean, you feel so good," I rasp out. I pull my face down to his, kissing me with everything he's got, moaning when we part for breaths.

"Cas…fuck! I'm gonna cum again…" he lets out harshly.

"Cum, baby, I'm right behind you!"

As he clenches around me, I erupt, filling him with my seed. The feeling is unlike anything that I've ever felt, and I honestly don't want to let it go. Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end, right? Looking at Dean and I, the answer's _more _than obvious.

"I still love you," I say, pulling out and sitting on my haunches. Dean just looks at me for a minute. Under normal circumstances, I'd be appreciating the view, him sitting Indian-style and completely naked and all, but I can't look at him right now. He scoffs beside me.

"That goes without saying," he states plainly, eyes bearing deep into my soul.

"I'm sorry," I say. He shrugs.

"Don't be. Just remember what Scout said."

With that, I'm rendered speechless.

**~D*C~**

**Okay, so it didn't turn out as heavy as I thought. I still like how it turned out, though. I hope you guys enjoy it. The next chapter is going to be…interesting. Review, please!**


	10. Chapter Seven

**My December**

**A/N: **This was originally going to be a fun chapter, but time has passed, and my mind has changed. I'm not sure how it's going to turn out, but I hope you guys like it. I'm glad to be back, btw ^-^

**Setting: **We're back in the past. This chapter takes place three weeks after the last on a Monday. It starts at the end of the school day.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

**~D*C~**

**Chapter Seven: **Never Again

**Naomi's POV**

"So, Castiel, have you thought about your future?"

He looks up slowly, blue eyes bearing deep into my soul. Even though I've gotten used to talking to him now, his gaze still unnerves me. It's like you can't keep anything from him, even though you have no reason to.

"It's you. How quaint."

Meg.

I don't dislike the girl, but I'm not a fan of hers, either. She's a surprisingly intelligent, almost frighteningly so. She absolutely hates me, which is a little surprising. I've never had any issue with her, but whatever. I'm just here to work, not make friends.

"Nice to see you, too, Meg. Castiel, may I speak with you for a moment?"

He looks over at Meg, the two sharing a look. It takes me aback for a moment. The ease and intensity of the silent communication between the two of them is shocking, to say the least. I knew Meg would benefit from being around Castiel, but I never thought the two would…connect like this. Hm…

After a bit, he nods and stands, leading me off to a quiet part of the hallway.

"What's on your mind, Naomi?" he asks evenly. He's watching me like a hawk.

"I was wondering what your plans are when you graduate? I know we've spoken about college, but I was wondering where you've considered going."

He quirks an eyebrow at me before frowning, settling deep into thought. Good.

Castiel is one of those rare students who is in a league all his own. I had watched his siblings when they were here, and all of them had astounding potential, even the trickster, Gabriel. Castiel is no less amazing, if not more so than the others. I want to see him become someone truly magnificent, and I plan on seeing to it that he does so.

"As of late, I haven't. I've been attempting to entertain some semblance of a social life," he answers honestly. It's my turn to frown.

"You're usually much more focused, Castiel. Don't let someone who may or may not be there for you tomorrow hinder your chances at success." He looks to the side for a second.

"You sound like my father. I do not like it," he states bluntly. I raise my hands in defense.

"I did not mean to incite your ire. I do apologize…" He stops me with a look.

"No need. I know you mean well. I'll give it thought, though, and I'll get back to you. Is there a particular reason you are asking?"

I sigh in relief. It seems like this conversation may go in my favor after all.

"Actually, there is. Here's a packet I want you to look at. You have a very strong sense of right and wrong, so I think this may be perfect for you. Ever consider New York? Law school?" He nods slowly, eyeing me critically.

"I have considered a future in law, but not particularly in New York. I'll definitely give this consideration. I knew I'd more than likely have to…leave…" I look at him curiously as his attention is diverted. I offhandedly hear Meg mutter 'about damn time' under her breath somewhere behind me.

A boy walks by us, smirking over at Castiel and glaring at Meg. To say that he is enticing would be an understatement. I haven't had an interest in a man in quite some time, my work holding my attention indefinitely. However, this one both intrigues and frightens me. I have not seen him before, which is odd. I usually see everyone unless they don't want to be seen.

Interesting.

What's even more interesting is the fact that Castiel has not only stopped talking to me, but is now moving over to openly converse with this mystery student.

"I think you are officially done now, Naomi. Feel free to take your leave!" Meg chirps brightly beside me. I just glare at her before returning my attention to the two males chatting animatedly before me.

I have never seen Castiel like this, but I can definitely see why. This guy makes me want to act out of character…

"Who is he?" I ask Meg. She snorts derisively.

"I figured you'd know. You know everything, do you not?" I choose to ignore her and find out what I desire.

I walk up to them quietly, not wanting to have them stop abruptly and decide to leave. I know how young people can be.

"You can go with him, but you won't go with me? I'm hurt!" says the blond. Castiel smirks.

"Jealous?"

"Shut it, Angel Boy. And who do we have here?" he asks, eyeing me skeptically.

"My name is Naomi. I am one of the school counselors. Your name is…?" I ask, silently hoping that he's forthcoming with his information.

"Winchester. Dean Winchester," he answers nonchalantly albeit a little guardedly. He's dangerous, that much I can tell. However, I can't help but be intrigued by him. I'll definitely be looking into his file this evening.

"Well, Mr. Winchester, it's nice to meet you. Let me know if you ever need anything. Castiel and I have quite the rapport with one another." He raises an eyebrow in Castiel's direction, amused for some reason.

"Interesting. Well, I hate to leave good company, but it's time I take my leave. I expect to hear from you later, Novak. Maybe we too can build some…rapport."

He saunters off, leaving the three of us alone yet again. I go to say something to Castiel, but find myself watching him jog down the hall after Dean. I wonder if he is as flustered as I am.

"And that, my dear Naomi, is the threat to your 'hard work.' You might wanna retreat to your office and look him up. You may very well lose your prodigy to him."

I glare at her retreating form, wanting nothing more than to curse her for all that she's worth. Unfortunately, she might be right. I definitely need to know more about Dean Winchester, if not for myself.

~D*C~

**Meg's POV**

"Watch her, Castiel. She is a snake, and I can't stand her."

"You sound just like Jo," he deadpans. I just look at him blankly.

"I don't like that bitch either, but she is dead right about Naomi. She's not looking at you like a person. No, Castiel, you are nothing but another success story for her. And she needs to be kept away from Winchester at all costs."

I'm still not on the Dean Winchester bandwagon, but I don't dislike the guy. We just don't see quite eye to eye on things, especially Castiel. I saw how Naomi was looking at him, though, and I don't like it. She was torn between ripping him away from Castiel and ripping off his clothes. It was disgusting.

"Meg. She is not like that…" he starts to say, but tapers off into silence.

I've finally got those wheels turning. I want him to see just how dangerous the bitch is. I'm manipulative, true enough. However, I'm not the type to try and control someone's future, especially someone as innocent as Castiel. He's a beast in the classroom, but he's an angel in all other aspects of life.

"Whatever," he finally says after a bit of silence.

I smile to myself, happy to have finally gotten my point across. I plan on running over to Dean's later. He needs to be warned.

We finally pull up to my place, and for the first time, I'm happy to see the hellhole. I've got some counterplotting to do, as well as a few 'dates' to entertain. I might have to reschedule a couple of them, though. Wait…hm…

"I need Jo's number," I say to Castiel suddenly. We share a look.

After a couple of minutes, he wordlessly hands me his phone. I smile in thanks as I go straight to her contact information and text it to myself. If he were anyone else, I'd have copied the entire contact list for my own entertainment later on, but I love this guy and can't imagine hurting him in any way.

I hand him his phone and step out of the car. I have some work to do.

~D*C~

**Castiel's POV**

Great. Just great.

I sigh as I stare into the stern eyes of my oldest brother, Michael. I just don't understand what everybody is on about today!

"We are not discussing this, brother," I say with conviction. He glares at me, as expected.

"Father says you've been away from home lately…that you have…friends." I roll my eyes.

"I am just as focused as I've always been, so you can drop it. Now." I try not to leave any room for argument, but it seems like a futile effort.

"Castiel. I am not trying to control you in any way. I am just concerned about your well-being. You should not bother yourself with insignificants." I shoot him a lethal glare. He sighs, but backs off.

I stomp my way upstairs, seeking out my beloved father. Unlike my siblings, he's actually quite understanding.

"Father! You available?" I ask. It's rude to walk in unannounced.

"Come on in, son." He sounds apologetic. He knows how things often go with me and the others.

I step into his study, smiling as I notice him actually relaxing for once. He always stays so busy…

"What's going on, Castiel? And I apologize for not warning you about Michael's arrival. I was just as surprised," he offers. I believe him wholeheartedly. My father doesn't lie.

"Nothing really. Have you been worried that I've been going out?" I ask. He frowns a little.

"No. I'm actually glad to see that you have friends, and real ones at that. Ignore what Michael says. He means well, but really shouldn't share his inexperienced opinion on the matter." My heart warms hearing that.

"All I've heard today is that I need to focus on my future, foregoing my budding social life. I cannot do that, though. I feel like I'm beginning to understand life a little now. Does that make me inadequate, though? Am I dooming myself by making friends and not just relegating them to mere acquaintances?"

All of this talk about my life has begun to take its toll on me. I'm beginning to doubt my recent decisions, which is not like me at all. Damn Michael and Naomi…

"You have a war brewing within your spirit, Castiel, I can see it. Do not let the voice of others dominate over your own. If you do, you will lose the things most valuable to you…the ones most valuable to you. I see you moving towards that direction, and I pray that you divert yourself."

The sadness in my father's voice bothers me greatly. If anything, he's always positive, never letting anything upset him so. Even when he is truly pissed, he's smiling and calm. His wrath can be rather terrifying…

"I'll keep your words dear, father, I promise." He smiles at that.

We spend the next hour or so prattling on about general things, but I feel a most unnerving sense of dread blooming in my chest. My life is about to change, but I'm not sure how.

My mind begins to wander until it lands on a familiar topic, and I blush.

Dean Winchester.

~D*C~

**Dean's POV**

"I'm scared, Sammy."

His head whips up sharply, mouth falling open before shutting quickly. I've never really admitted my fear of anything to him, so I can understand his surprise.

"Of what, Dean? I mean, he's not coming back for a while, I don't think…" I hold up a hand to silence him.

"I'm beginning to want to let people in…let him in. Sam, I'm several shades of fucked up, and I can't do that to anyone." I run my fingers through my hair, frustration starting to settle in.

I've come to the realization that I want Cas, and not just physically. He's become a major part of Sammy's life, which in turn affects mine. We are so used to him now we consider him whenever we make decisions on dinner or what have you. I've made it very clear that I want to fuck him senseless, but I've kept the rest to myself. The poor guy just looks at me, probably wondering what the fuck he's gotten himself into.

"Dean, you've eventually got to loosen up on this self-imposed solitude. I have told you time and time again that you deserve to be happy, just like everyone else." I let his words sink in.

Sam was fortunate enough to not be dragged into Dad's fucked up ass 'business.' I had to take that particular bull by the horns, and even now, I'm still wrestling with the son of a bitch. Sometimes it's just memories, but other times, it's nightmares that haunt me. I can handle the memories because they can easily be defended against. Nightmares, however, come when you're most vulnerable. I can't defend against what I don't know is coming.

After Jo left, I realized that normal people can't handle the shit that we've been through. Both she and her mom fled, never to return. I can't really blame them, but I won't ever forgive them for the shit either. I still haven't spoken with Ellen, and Jo and I only speak when we have to. The silence is deafening for sure, but it's one that must exist for a bit.

"I know, Sammy boy. I know."

A knock at the door grabs both of our attentions. The knock is one that we both know, but we're wondering why the fuck it's here.

I slowly make my way to the door, ripping it open. I growl as Meg waltzes in uninvited.

"What the fuck are you doing here, Masters?" I ask as she moves to sit beside Sam. They greet each other pleasantly, which only serves to piss me off even more.

"Stop glaring, Dean. I don't want your precious Castiel. He's helping me graduate. That's all."

I roll my eyes, but say nothing further. My gaze asks all that it needs to.

"Asshat. Anyway, I'm here to warn you about…"

She's silenced by another knock at the door. This one I do not know.

"I wonder who this could be…" I mutter to myself.

I peak through the peephole, and frown to myself. I slowly reach to open the door, idly hearing Meg curse in the background before scurrying off to places unknown.

"Naomi?"

"Hello, Dean. Mind if I come in?"

**~D*C~**

**I am never a fan of cliffhangers, but I'm leaving this chapter in one. The next chapter is a continuation of this one. I hope you guys liked this! And as always, love my beta, nimthriel, and a few of my newest fans! Chrisinele-hime, precious1075 and stephd91**


	11. Chapter Eight

**My December**

**A/N: **I really hope you guys like the last chapter and the two that follow. They are all chapters that I thoroughly enjoyed writing, which I hope you can see lol Anywho, to all of my new readers and followers and favorites, I love you guys! And thank you to you all for continuing to follow me. You guys rock!

**Setting: **This chapter continues from where the last one left off.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

**~D*C~**

**Chapter Eight: **Judas

**Dean's POV**

"Oh Dean, you are so funny!"

"Why thank you, ma'am. It's always my honor to entertain the ladies."

She giggles (actually giggles) while resting her hand on my knee. I internally roll my eyes.

You see, I've learned to read people quite well. This Naomi character (and I do mean character because no one is that damn fake) must take me for a fool if she believes that for one second I am falling for her bullshit. She's here acting like she wants to know who I am and shit. Lying cunt.

I remember catching her gaze earlier. She has nothing but selfish intentions brewing under the surface.

"So, what are your plans after graduation? Do you know what you want to do yet?"

Once again, I roll my eyes (internally, of course). She does not give one little shit about my goals. She's here trying to figure me out. Good luck with that one, Mimi. I'm pretty sure she's pulled up my record but come up with nothing. The one good thing about Dad's lifestyle is that you end up with friends in high places. I'm also certain she's called around and maybe asked a few after-school stragglers if they knew me. Hell, she probably cornered a few of my teammates. All of her searching will be in vain, though. I am dead, buried, and entombed under the fucking radar.

"I don't know. Maybe you could give me a few ideas?"

And…she blushes. Of two things I am very certain: she's here fishing for information…and she wants me. I am not being narcissistic in the least bit on this one! Her legs have been damn near cemented together since we sat at the bar, rubbing together harder and harder the longer we've talked. And her poor bottom lip! The damn thing is liable to fall off at any minute from all of the abuse she's giving it. Hell, I can _smell _her arousal from here!

Yet another ability I gained from being around my wonderful father. Sad face.

My back stiffens as I think back to earlier. Her gaze…

"So, you've known Castiel for a long time, huh," I state nonchalantly.

"Yes, yes I have. He's quite brilliant, if I may say so myself. You two seem to be well-acquainted."

"Not particularly. You know us charmers. It's so hard being so good looking!" I say, winking for added emphasis. As expected, she blushes, even more so than before.

"Oh, Dean, you are something else," she says softly.

I can see the war going on behind her eyes. Her mind is working overtime, trying to figure out a way to attain the information that she desires, but her body is only desiring to fuck me senseless. She's not the type of woman to talk anything other than shop unless it's to achieve some other goal. With me, though, she has conflicting goals. I almost wanna fuck her so that she won't be a _complete_ failure, at least…

Nah.

"Seriously, though, I've gone to him for help on a few assignments. When someone's got brains, why not use 'em?"

She pats my arm playfully. I'm going to need a bath after this…

"You shouldn't be like that, Mr. Winchester. I have big plans and high hopes for him, and I'd hate to see them shattered because of some waste of time. He must see a lot of potential in you, though. He was…eager to see you. You sure it's just the occasional thing?" Going for the jugular? Bad move, kitten.

"Oh trust me, I know how smart he is. Who doesn't? But alas, I have no interest there. I prefer the fairer kind. However, if he seems eager to see me, it must mean I'm quite appealing, does it not. And eager to see me? Who wouldn't be? I mean, aren't you eager?" I say, my hand grazing her thigh.

It's sad, really, watching her unravel. She really thought she had a chance here. Stupid bitch. I knew why she was here, and I am not one to fall prey to petty games. That's one of the main reasons Dad took me with him on his more difficult trips.

"_You have such an inhuman sense about people, Dean. I don't know where the hell it comes from, but it's the most useful weapon in our arsenal. You are a predator most deadly, and I couldn't be any prouder."_

I, for one, am not proud in the least bit. Cas is the only person I've ever known to fly under my radar. He's special, which is why I'm so scared to drag him into my shitty ass life. He'd run for his fucking life, and I couldn't blame him. He'd see the monster that I am, even though I try to suppress it. I'm damaged goods, and he would see that. A guy like him deserves to be with someone just like him, solid and profound. I burn bridges, not build them…

"Well, I think it's time I leave. It was so good talking with you, Dean. Please, stop by my office tomorrow, or anytime, if you'd like."

I offer her a smoldering smirk, earning a distant moan from her. Hook, line, and sinker…

"Oh, I will. I don't like to make promises, though. I try not to be such a…heartbreaker, if you will."

The look she gives me says it all. Now, the gaze that she gave Cas earlier was like the one a farmer would give his or her cash cow. He's just a means to an end for her, which I plan on stopping indefinitely. This look, however, is one of a lion eyeing a piece of meat after a long, long bout of hunger. I will not be going to her office alone.

"Later…Dean…" she mutters as she walks out the door and to her car.

I chuckle lowly as I notice how awkward her stride is. What can I say, I know 'em when I see 'em. When I see that she's gone, I close the door and get down to business.

"Meg, get out here. We need to talk."

**~D*C~**

**Michael's POV**

"He needs to focus, brother."

"You need to pull that stick outta your ass, brother."

I glare at him, disgust written clearly on my face. But of course, my beloved brother just smirks and shrugs. I would take great pleasure in peeling it off of his fucking face.

"Gabriel, you can't honestly tell me that you do not agree!" I all but roar.

He just shrugs, staring back at me intently. I want nothing more than to rage at him, verbally tear him limb from limb. I know, however, that no matter how childish and playful he may seem, Gabriel is one force that even I know not to reckon with.

"You know what your problem is, Mikey? You are _too_ damn focused. Cassie is doing all the things that you didn't, but that was your choice. Let him live. Out of all of us, you are the only one who seemed to be all righteous and omnipotent. Guess what? You're not. Hell, even Luke was grounded. Evil as shit, but grounded nonetheless."

I avert my gaze from his, refusing to admit defeat. So what I decided to live a life of principles and boundaries. It has all more than paid off. I have a successful career as a police officer in Manhattan, and just recently purchased a flailing law firm with a business partner and former instructor of mine. If I had wasted my time with 'friends,' I would be just like the rest of my former classmates, living mediocre lives from paycheck to paycheck.

I am not without understanding, however. I do want Castiel to experience the joys of life. What I do not want is for him to become lost within them, wasting his vast potential because he wanted to have 'fun.'

"I just want what's best for Castiel, don't you see that?" I ask honestly. Gabriel snorts.

"Your best for him is the worst for him. Tell me, when's the last time you got laid, and not by your own hand, mind you?"

I can't help the raging blush engulfing my face.

"That is none of your fucking business, Gabriel Novak!" He scoffs.

"You're right about that, although I already know the answer. However, you're wrong where Cassie's concerned." I go to retort, but the fiery gaze he has aimed at me silences anything I even _think _to say.

I have never seen him this serious, and I am more than a little unnerved.

"You're going to ruin him, Michael, of this I am sure. For you, this serious bullshit works. You're just wired that way. Castiel, though, he's not. You try and change him, and you will absolutely destroy him. He'll become a walking fucking _husk _of a human being. A husk, Michael! I wouldn't give a rat's ass if it was any other of our wonderful siblings, but he's the only one who has a chance at true happiness."

I can't argue with him there. Castiel missed all of the 'unfavorable' spots of our lives. He missed Mom's death and Dad's subsequent depression. He missed the fights and the lies and everything else that erupted between the rest of us, as well.

"I just can't let him squander his gifts, Gabriel," I offer softly. Gabriel, too, eases up.

"Let him decide what he does with them, though. That's all I'm saying. Let Cassie _live_."

A knock at the door grabs both of our attentions.

"I'll get it," I say tiredly. This arguing has exhausted me for the day.

I stride over, cautiously opening the door. What greets my sight has me speechless…

"Hi…um…is Casti…um…can you help me with this?!"

"Oh…uh…yeah…yeah! Shit! Sorry!"

I have never in my entire life stuttered, but this one here has me losing it. His warm gaze sends tingles up and down my spine. I reach over and grab as many of the books as I can from him. I can't help the laugh the bubbles up from my chest. It's not every day that you see a tall beauty standing at your doorstep with an armful of literature…

"Thank you so much…um…"

"Michael. Michael Novak. I'm Castiel's oldest brother," I offer, grinning from ear to ear life a freaking idiot. I can't help it, though. He's just too cute.

"Nice! My name's Sam, but you seem like the kind of guy to call me Samuel," he says lightly. My smile broadens a little…a lot. I'll call him Sam, just to humor him.

"And who do we have here, hm?" I glare at Gabriel, the amusement far too evident in his voice.

I choose to ignore my brother, focusing on the male in front of me. I have honestly never been attracted to anyone of either sex, so this is definitely something new to me. There's something about him that intrigues me. He's young, but wise beyond his years for some reason. Some unfortunate trauma is probably the cause. My entire being yearns for him, and I can't seem to stop it.

Honestly, though, I don't want to stop it.

"I'm Sam, a…" he begins, but Gabriel cuts him off. I glare at him.

"Oh! You're one of Cassie's friends! I remember him mumbling your name once. It was all good, though. Promise." Sam smiles at this, causing me to smile as well.

"What's all this commotion down here…Sam!" We all turn around to see Castiel standing at the end of the stairwell with a grin on his face.

"Cas!" Sam beams.

I notice how swiftly Sam moves. Even at his height, which is much taller than my own, he moves with ease. Now, I'm not saying that there is anything soft about him. Far from it, actually. What I am saying, though, is that he is comfortable with both his own body and his surroundings. His steps and movements are all made accordingly, which hints at quite the mind.

I glance down at the books in my arms. My eyes widen as I recognize them as law books.

"You like law, Sam?" He turns to me with a soft smile. I think my heart just melted.

"Yes, actually. I want to…be able to help those who can't help themselves…"

A distant look engulfs his features, his mind traveling far from within the confines of these walls. I don't know exactly what happened or who he wants to help, but it's more than obvious that he or she is very dear to him.

"That's quite the coincidence. Come, let's get these books upstairs and I'll tell you about…" I frown as Castiel glares at me.

"Nevermind. Another time, then. Castiel?" I hand over the books to my youngest sibling, who smiles at me gratiously. I'm guessing it's a bad time?

"Cool. I look forward to it, I think. Later guys!" Sam chirps as he ascends the stairs. I glance over at a smirking Gabriel.

"What?" I bark, knowing exactly where this conversation is about to go.

"Your loins are mighty wet, huh bro?" I roll my eyes.

"Goodnight, brother dearest."

I head out back to the guesthouse, wanting to think this out alone.

Never, and I do mean never, have I desired anyone quite like this. The boy, he is truly a beautiful creature. I can tell that he is very focused, yet aloof enough that he can still enjoy life's pleasures. I am not the type to allow even that small amount, but on him it fits. Castiel could never be like him, which is why I am so hard on him. Castiel's potential does not allow for such deviations as friendship and whatnot. Sam, though, is much different.

I can see him having lots of friends, yet excelling in his coursework. He's been trained to do so, and I am eager to meet his father. He must be a solid man to raise such a solid boy. Castiel will definitely benefit from his companionship, but not anyone else's. Sam is a rarity.

I blush as I finally notice my hardness. Even the most innocent of thoughts of him cause me to desire him…in all ways, it would seem. I haven't had any sort of intimacy since my first time, and that was only due to Lucifer's vile intervention. I wonder what Sam would feel like if we…

I'm abruptly ripped from my thoughts by the incessant vibrating of my phone. I growl at the offending piece of technology.

"Hello," I grumble irritably.

"Michael? Hi, it's Naomi. You have a minute?" I sigh.

Great. Just fucking great.

**~D*C~**

**Looks like we have a new player in the game! I really didn't expect for that particular triangle to form, but it just sort of happened, and I can see a lot of things coming from it. However, I really, really want to know you guys' opinion on it. Do you love it, hate it, what? Reviews are now more important than ever. The story is drawing ever closer to the final showdown, but there's still so much I have yet to include. Let me know, you guys!**


	12. Chapter Nine

**My December**

**A/N: **This is chapter is kind of a big one. All the cards are laid out on the table. I really hope you guys like the story so far. And as always, love my beta, nimthriel. I'm pretty sure her sensibilities are exploding a little. An Interlude is next, and it is going to be a much lighter one than the last two, but also very interesting…

**Setting: **This one takes place the following day after the last two. It starts at the beginning of the day and finishes at the end.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

**~D*C~**

**Chapter Nine: **Yeah

**Jo's POV**

"Are you fucking serious?!"

"Yes. I know we don't get along, Jo, but I need you on this one."

I look down, a frown developing on my face.

The hallway is full of people walking and talking and generally carrying on with their daily school lives, but I hear none of it. The only person who has my focus is that of the one and only Meg Masters. Under normal circumstances, we'd be glaring at one another, but right about now, we are definitely going into cahoots with one another.

"I'm in," I state firmly.

I cannot _stand _that bitch Naomi, and anyone who's on the path to initiating her demise is a kindred spirit. Meg called me last night, going on and on about how Naomi is being devious, so of course I had to hear her out. As soon as I walked through the doors this morning, she has been giving me the rundown of things.

I want nothing more than to rip that tramp limb from limb.

"Good. Dean is already on to her, but Castiel is oblivious. Dean can take care of himself, but I'm more than certain that once Castiel gets involved, he's going to go on a warpath. The thing is, Naomi is one smart bitch, so I'm not sure he's going to be able to defend himself _and_ Castiel. He's going to be stretched kind of thin…"

I frown even more. She's right, though. Dean is one dark, twisted motherfucker, but he's only used to protecting himself and Sam. Cas is not Sam, though, and he has history with Naomi. He's going to be working against Dean, which will make things more difficult for him. Naomi's cold and calculating, and I'm more than sure she'll use Cas to her advantage.

"How do we fit in, though? What are we going to do?" I ask Meg. She smirks evilly.

"We will be the anti-Naomi. If there is one thing that I know about Castiel, it's that he has little patience. He and I are cut from the same cloth, so to speak. If we keep on him about her, we can start to build up the doubt. Dean will then have to worry less about."

I have to say, I am fucking impressed! This bitch has thought about this shit, but that is good. Naomi doesn't look at people as human beings. No, this slutbag looks at us as mere stepping stones in her career. Any way that she can get a handle, she will definitely go after it. Cas is favored by just about if not every fucking teacher on the campus. Why not exploit him to earn yourself a better job with a posh new office?

Dean is going to give this whore what-for, though, and I can't wait. Even if Cas complicates shit, Dean is still going to ride her ass like a government mule.

I sigh thinking about him, though. I miss my Dean. He and I used to be great, but now…we don't even talk anymore. It's my own fault, though.

There were so many times that Mom thought about adopting he and Sam, so many times. We didn't, though, which I regret every day. We were just so scared to get involved…

"Jo?"

I jump, having forgotten where the hell I am or what's going on for a bit. Thoughts of Dean always does that to me…

"Sorry, Meg. Just…thinking." She cocks an eyebrow, but says nothing of it.

"It's fine. Class is about to start, so let's break for now. I'll see you at lunch?" I nod.

As I make my way down the hall, I let my thoughts begin to drift.

Things are about to get fucking messy around here.

**~D*C~**

**Naomi's POV**

"I'm really glad you came, Michael."

"Whatever. Make this quick."

I purse my lips, glaring over the rim of my glasses. I knew I wasn't the most 'favored' person to the Novak clan, but this is just ridiculous.

Michael has made it _abundantly_ clear that he does not like me. In fact, he made it a point to explain his hatred of my very presence on this lovely planet of ours. Asshole.

I take a breath to calm myself before speaking. I choose my words carefully.

"The reason I called you here was to speak with you about Castiel. I had contacted a particular law firm in Manhattan, and they were willing to offer a scholarship and internship to your brother. However, it has come to my attention that it has been purchased…by you."

He smirks at me whilst shrugging nonchalantly.

"Maybe. What has Castiel said about this?" I smile gently at him.

"He is excited for the chance, actually. I've seen how he has quite the talent for law, and he even has the desire to go into the field. I think this would be an excellent push for him."

I am slightly taken aback by his scowl.

"Did I say something wrong?" I ask cautiously. I am in relatively foreign territory with this one.

"Nothing. I will surely speak with him regarding this. I was aware of the arrangements made previously by the former owners, and intended to uphold it. Is there anything else you needed?"

I shake my head. Something is up, but I refuse to ask. I don't wish to fully piss him off, seeing as he's already frustrated with me.

"No. That is all."

He doesn't say anything further, simply turning around and leaving without another word.

I reach up to massage my temples. I was hoping for much more pleasant reaction, one where he'd strongly agree with my suggestion and help me encourage his brother. No, I just get insulted and then ambiguously brushed off. Jackass.

Castiel is a very valuable student to me, probably one of the most valuable that I've ever seen. I have goals, and he can single-handedly make them happen. If I can help him realize his potential, someone, be it here or at another place of employment, will see how effective I am and give me a chance. Unlike the other 'inadequates' in my family, I desire to be one of those people in a high position with a posh office. I will _not _be anyone's pawn. No, I will be the Queen one day.

A knock at my door grabs my attention, and I blush at the visual in front of me.

"Why Dean, what is the matter? You seem a bit…"

"I'm only here for a moment. Look, can you sign off on this? No one's in the main office, and I've got to go," he rushes out. Whatever is wrong, it's really killing him to be wasting time.

"Sure. Anything."

I grab the paper, quickly reading over it. Oh, poor guy.

"Samuel is ill?" I ask softly. He nods curtly.

"Yeah. Gotta take him home…like now." I blush.

"Sure. Here you are. If you need anything, let me know. And I'll definitely make sure this gets taken care of."

"Thanks," he says before turning to leave.

He stops in the doorway for a second, though, turning to look at me. The look is unreadable, but it sends shivers up and down my spine. The things he does to me…

After a brief moment, he smirks and walks off. I don't know what that was, but I definitely want it to happen again. To be honest, I want much more than just that to happen. I want Dean Winchester, and I'll find some way to have him.

Who knows? Maybe I'll have my office _and _my man…

~D*C~

**Castiel's POV**

"You're on your way back? Okay. Okay, Dean. Dean!"

I sigh into the phone, shaking my head at the wonderful antics of the one and only Dean Winchester.

"Do not shake your head at me, Novak. And yes, my antics are wonderful."

"Get out of my head."

"Do as I say."

"Bye, Dean."

I don't give him the chance to reply. I simply hang up the phone and toss it across the room. I'll deal with the consequences later.

I make my way over to my bed where Sam is currently resting, trying not to puke again. I don't know what made him sick, but the poor guy has been up puking his brains out ever since. He stayed the night here under Father's strict orders. I had him call Dean, though. He would have completely destroyed Lawrence looking for his brother.

The two of them hit it off immediately, ironically enough. Dean relented, but only because my father swore on his very life that he'd make sure Sam was well taken care of. I remember talking to Dean after, and my heart ached for him…

"_I trust your dad, Cas, I really do. You better treat him right, alright? He's a stand-up guy, exactly what my dad was not. Cherish him."_

In that moment, I wanted nothing more than to kill his father. I'm normally not the violent type, but hearing him so hurt, so utterly broken made me want to take great pleasure in dismembering the irresponsible son of a bitch.

"Dean," I whisper to myself.

It'd be lying if I said I wasn't attracted to him. Hell, I want him more than I've ever wanted anyone or anything in my entire life! The main thing stopping me is what Naomi said. I don't want to be one of those people who screws off his life because of a fling. Even though I feel deep in my heart that Dean is not that type of guy, you can never really be sure.

I flinch as I hear Sam begin to empty out the contents (or lack thereof) of his stomach yet again. I walk over, sitting on the edge of the bed. I run my fingers through his hair, cooing lightly to calm him. My heart goes out to him.

"He looks like a kid again whenever he's sick." I smile softly at the sound of his voice.

"Bout time you made it, Winchester. Sam here was having a rough go of it while you were out gallivanting around." He rolls his eyes, but says nothing.

As he comes closer, I stand to move out of the way. However, he surprises me by stopping in front of me instead of taking my former place beside Sam.

"What?" I ask lowly.

If you've never had the misfortune of having Dean Winchester stare you in the eye, you are most fortunate.

He doesn't blink, doesn't waver. No. He remains focused on you intently, excavating your very soul with his beautiful evergreens. Your mind stops functioning as your heart stops beating. Everything around you ceases to exist as he completely engulfs your being. There's nothing you can do, but there's nothing that you want to do. Dean is your everything…

"Cas," he whispers as he moves closer.

The air seems much too thick around us, making it so damn hard to breathe. As his hand comes up to cup my cheek, I lose all feeling except for that in my face…my lips. Looking into those beautiful verdant irises, I can see a future that holds so much happiness…and a past that holds so much pain. I don't realize I'm moving until our lips are a breadth away…

"Dean, I…"

He closes his eyes, sighing softly before opening them slowly. The fire within those eyes is even greater than before…

"Castiel Novak. I am about to kiss you. I've thought about this a lot, so please don't take this lightly. I want you, Castiel. I want you, and I'm choosing to be selfish for once in my goddamn life. Remember these words, though. This kiss is not just a kiss, but a promise. If you ever break this promise, you'll kill what's left of me. If this frightens you, join the fucking club. Your chance to back out is now," he whispers softly, eyes fixated firmly on mine.

My heart trembles at his words. I've come to know Dean pretty well recently, so I know that he is dead serious. I want him, too, that much I am sure of. Deep in the back of my mind, I know that I should back out, though. Making a promise this big can have humongous repercussions, but I am not the type of person to go back on my promises.

I steel my resolve and nod softly. Fuck both Michael _and _Naomi. I'm doing for me, this time.

"Exactly," he whispers as if reading my very thoughts.

When our lips meet, it is as if time stops, as cliché as that sounds. The only thing that exists is Dean.

I feel him smile into the kiss as he joins our hands, pulling me flush against him. For the first time in my life, I feel as if my world is complete. Everything and nothing makes sense, but I am not complaining in the least bit.

We part at the sound of Sam's retching, laughter erupting from the both of us.

"Well, that's not the best reaction, but it's a reaction nonetheless," Dean mutters idly. I just shake my head.

"Let's see if he's okay," I sigh while moving towards our sick companion. Dean's grasp on my arm stops me…

"Cas," he says lowly, looking deep into my eyes once again.

"Yeah?" I ghost out.

"Remember what I said. I don't know how this is gonna turn out, but please, just…yeah." I nod in return.

As I turn away from him, I feel the cold tendrils of dread start to creep into my very soul. I want nothing more than for this to go smoothly. Dean and I both deserve to be happy, and I think our variances will benefit us in many favorable ways. Still, though, I worry…

What if I fuck up and end up doing the one thing he asked me not to…

~D*C~

**Michael's POV**

"Castiel?"

I quirk an eyebrow as I notice my brother at home instead of at school.

"What's going on?" I ask curiously. He looks towards the stairs sadly.

"Sam is ill. His brother is over here helping me take care of him." I frown. Sam is ill.

"Hey Cas, I need another…trash…bag…hi?" I turn around as I hear a voice foreign to my ears.

"Sam's brother," I deduce. He watches me skeptically while nodding minutely.

I've always had a knack for reading people, something that is a common trait in my family. We are all very cautious of others, knowing that humanity is not always a good thing. Lucifer and myself are by far the best at it, though, being the oldest two and most experienced. Gabriel also says it's because we are also the most domineering and pretentious (his words, not mine) of us all. I often ignore Gabriel for obvious reasons.

This man, Sam's brother, is truly a specimen to behold. I have a feeling that he is quite the charmer, an object of _many _affections. He has killer features, ones that any model would bargain their very soul for, and I'm pretty sure his body is the same. His aura, though, is one of a warrior. His eyes, beautiful beyond compare (with the exception of Sam's, of course), do not miss anything. All it takes is one wrong move, and that's it. I'd be on the floor and in pieces in a matter of seconds. I do not scare easily, but this one frightens me to the very core.

"Michael Novak, Castiel's oldest brother," I say, offering my hand. He shakes it firmly, smirking ironically.

"Dean. Do we need to leave?"

I can't help the laugh that escapes my lips. He doesn't pull any punches, does he?

"No, no, that's not necessary. As a matter of fact, I was wondering if I could check in on him, Sam? I met him last night, but wasn't aware he stayed. He's truly a brilliant young man."

A small smile of pride mixed with sadness graces his features.

"I know. Raised him myself," he whispers almost inaudibly. I honestly don't believe he knows he even said it.

My respect for the man in front of me grows tremendously while my curiosity does much the same. Whatever happened to these boys in their life, it was something seriously twisted. I have _never_ seen two people more haunted by life, and I've seen many, many people. Being a police officer, you see the best and the worst this world has to offer. These two, however, are in a category all their own. Dean, however, is much worse than Sam. Hell, it looks as if the poor boy hasn't had a true night's rest in years…

"Go ahead, but don't disturb him. He needs his rest."

I jump slightly at the timbre of his voice. I nod mutely, knowing that I best not go against his wishes. As I turn around to head upstairs, I hear him speak one last time…

"You may think you're an angel, but I will rip your fucking wings off if you try to fly away with him. The worst I'll do is taint yours, but you…you would take mine. The two 't's' aren't the same."

My eyes widen a bit as he smirks threateningly before walking past me.

"Yes, sir!" I call before heading upstairs.

Something tells me that those words will haunt me in the near future.

**~D*C~**

**And here's another chapter for you! I hope you guys like. An Interlude is next, and you'll need to remember this chapter for it. Review time! I've had a lot of you guys follow this story, and I'm very thankful. However, I'd really like for you guys to take the time and review as well. I can't get a feel for where you guys are at with just follows and favorites. Opinions matter to us writers, more than you guys know. Good or bad, they help. So please, review.**


	13. Interlude Three

**My December**

**A/N: **We're gonna change things up for this Interlude. Instead of focusing on Dean and Cas, we're gonna check in on Sam. Let me know what you guys think. There will be mention of the other two, though, so don't fret lol

**Setting: **This time, we're back in Manhattan, in an apartment downtown. It's nighttime.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

**~D*C~**

**Interlude Three: **Addicted

**Sam's POV**

Footsteps.

Loud, heavy footsteps.

I slowly rise out of bed, staring at the door expectantly. Any minute now…

"Good morning," he whispers softly. I smile in return.

"Morning to you, too," I offer back warmly.

I stand up slowly, stretching languidly as I move towards the bathroom. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice him move towards the bed, sitting down and gently patting where I was moments ago. I smile gently to myself.

It has been about two years now since I moved here to Manhattan. Life is _very _different here than it was in Lawrence, but I think I've adjusted pretty well. It was a rather quick move, but with everything that was going on at the time…

I sigh, not really wanting to go down that particular path right now.

It has been a little while since I've heard from Dean, but given the circumstances, that's to be expected. Castiel hasn't tried to contact me, but for that, I'm happy. I really grew to love him, Cas. He was one of us, you know. More importantly, he was the one person who made Dean happy. He was finally facing his demons and getting over all of the shit that Dad and Naomi and everyone else had put him through over the years. He was just about to be whole again, but then…

"Fucking Castiel," I grumble as I step into the shower.

Once the warm mist spray hits my body, all thoughts of the past evaporate.

My life now is in a very good place, one that is filled with positivity and happiness. I have this wonderful apartment, I'm loving collegiate life, and I have people around me who only have my best interests in mind, especially the one right outside the door.

I blush as I think of him.

Now, I always thought that I would be the straight brother, the one to carry on the Winchester name. I thought that I'd have what Mom and Dad had for sure!

Nope. Nada.

Honestly, though, I don't regret our relationship. I'm really not sure exactly where we're at or where it's going, but I have no complaints. His constant companionship is _more_ than enough for me, though. We get along easily…naturally. As cliché as it sounds, it's almost as if we were made for one another.

In many ways, he reminds me of Dean…

I sure hope that doesn't sound sick or perverted.

Anyway, he reminds me of Dean. He's strong and determined, truly a magnificent person. However, he is in no way dark or twisted, so I don't have to worry about night terrors or any of that like I did with my beloved brother…

And that sounded awful. Sad face.

What I meant was that he's had a brighter, shinier life compared to ours. There's nothing to mar his beauty, and boy is he beautiful. Unlike Dean, he's steady and undeterred, no darkness to hinder his warmth…his humanity. He's an emotional wall that I know that I can depend on if I need to.

Once again, that sounded awful. I love Dean, more than anyone will ever understand. It's just…I'm glad to finally not have to worry about what can happen next, you know? Dean was always my protector, making sure that I had a remotely decent upbringing. I still, however, worried over him. A person can only take so much abuse before he completely loses it and does something crazy. Dean had his moments of weakness, but he never let me see him break. Holding that much shit in wasn't healthy, but it was Dean.

When I feel cold droplets hitting my skin, I quickly reach forward and turn the water off. I tend to do that a lot nowadays, getting lost in thoughts of him. I can't help it, though. It just…happens.

I make quick work of dressing and 'primping,' as he calls it. I just shrug offhandedly whenever he brings it up.

"Hey, breakfast is ready," I hear as soon as I round the corner. I smile. He knows me too well.

"Sweet. Any calls this morning?" I ask while moving to pour my coffee. He shakes his head.

"Nope. So…does that make your day pretty clear then?" he asks cautiously.

The thing that really makes me love him is that he's utterly and completely invested in me. He is the reason why I moved here, and he's gone _way _above and beyond to ensure my happiness. From moving from his old apartment for me to changing his work schedule around for me, he has organized his life for our optimal partnership. We have plenty of 'us' time, but I also have enough 'me' time to keep things fresh and open. And yes, I did say I love him.

I'm just wanting to make sure that I'm in love with him.

If there is one thing that Dean taught me, it's that there's a difference between loving someone and being in love with someone. I do love him, of that I am abundantly sure. I can feel myself beginning to fall, but I haven't fallen all the way. Because of the way I was raised, I find it hard to give myself to someone completely. He knows it, though, and isn't making a fuss over it.

Isn't he just the freakin' greatest?!

We've officially had the talk about my past, so that's out of the way. I just knew it was going to scare him off, but nope, he stayed. He said it was what made me into the great person that I am. He's so proud of me. It makes me blush just thinking about it…

I jump when I feel his hand on the small of my back.

"You were doing it again." I blush at his knowing smirk. I really need to stop thinking so much.

"Sorry. And yes, that does mean my schedule is clear," I say, smirking confidently.

"Does it? Hm. So that means I get to have some me and you time today?" he asks seductively, pushing his erection against my ass. Yeah, I'm mad blushing…

He and I, we are very comfortable in ourselves and one another. We flirt all the time, toying with each other as if we don't already know each other. I guess you can call it overextended roleplay. It's our thing, though. We touch and tease one another all the fucking time, but we've yet to actually _do_ anything.

Don't judge us.

I know that he's ready. Hell, to be honest, he's _more _than ready! However, he's being the wonderful angel that he is and is waiting for me. I know he loves me _and _is in love with me, but he also knows my predicament. Like Dean, he can read me like a book. Dean always said I broadcast my emotions for all to see, unable to hide them in the least. Of course, I would argue back…and would subsequently be called a bitch.

Asshole.

I turn to face him. He smiles as I place my hands on his chest, feeling the rough texture of his uniform. I'd be a lying son of a bitch if I didn't say that his uniform wasn't a damn turn-on…for both of us. I can feel his heartbeat getting faster and faster as I trace the outline of his pockets. His chest is very sensitive, so I know he must be going insane.

Good.

My fingers continue their journey as my body presses firmly against his. Our erections brush for just a second, but it's enough to send shivers up and down both our spines. I trace the letters on his nameplate…

"Hey there, Officer Novak. How can I help you today?" He smirks dirtily.

"Oh Winchester, you _know _how you could help me," he whispers in my ear.

We both erupt into laughter as we move to clean everything up and head about our way. Even though I have no classes for the day, I still have a few errands I need to run. We make quick work of cleaning before heading out the door towards our cars.

"Lunch?" he asks slowly. I smile brightly in return.

"Of course! Just be careful today. Don't need you getting shot or anything like that," I say offhandedly.

"Alrighty, Sammy. I'll see you later." We share a chaste hug and kiss before going our separate ways.

"Shot, huh. He better not," I mumble to myself as I pull out the driveway and go about my way.

~D*C~

**Michael's POV**

"I'm sorry," I mutter softly.

"I told you _not _to get shot," he mumbles through his tears. I reach up to gently wipe them away.

"I'm alive, though, and that's all that matters," I whisper gently as we press our foreheads together.

It seemed like a normal day, it really did. Unfortunately, such days are never as you'd think or want them to be. A routine call turned into a shootout that landed me here, so…

"I can't help but hate your line of work sometimes," he says after a while.

Sam has been very open with his opinions on things, and I can't say that I mind any little bit. His openness is nothing new to me, seeing as I am a Novak, after all. I actually love that about him.

And boy do I love him.

He's such a wonderful part of my life. Although I'd never tell him, Gabriel was right. My life was absolutely boring before Sam, and I will not allow myself to get back to that point. I doubt Sam will ever let me, though. I can't help but feel that he's here to stay. Whether we're lovers or not, I need him in my life, much like…

"Dean," I whisper softly so that Sam won't hear.

Sam and I talk about everything, and I do mean everything. However, there is one subject that we just do not touch, and that is Dean Winchester. And don't _even_ get me started on Castiel. Sam may love me, but he is not above killing me should I make the mistake of bringing those two up.

I sigh.

My heart clenches when I think of Dean. I've seen a lot of fucked up people, but Dean easily has them beat. He could very easily be the next big psycho- or sociopath. That much I know. The fact that he is not shows just how amazing of a person he is. The people in his life who should have been some of the most positive influences were in fact the worst possible presences. My respect for him is endless, especially when it comes to Sam.

I don't say anything (although I know he knows), but I sometimes feel like utter shit when I think of my taking Sam from him. Dean absolutely _hated _me when I moved Sam here, as did Castiel but for completely different reasons. I can understand Dean's feelings, though. My brother had just…yeah. I've talked to him since, but we never bring up his 'departure.' I can't say that I don't loathe him for it, but it's not my place to judge. Still, to do someone you say that you love like that…

"Hey, I'm stepping out really quick. Don't move!" my companion says before stepping out the door.

I love how much he cares for me, I really do. I truly hope that he will find himself in love with me one day. I'd never begrudge him if he didn't, mind you. I'm just happy for the companionship that we have. I've never had that before, so it's most refreshing. We do tease one another, so I'm hopeful. I at least know that he's attracted to me. That I can work from.

A buzzing to my left draws my attention.

I frown as I pick up my phone, unsure of who would be calling. The department had already called or visited, so they wouldn't be calling. None of my siblings even know…

I sigh as I answer.

"Yes, Castiel," I ground out, rubbing my temples.

"_So, you've been shot, huh,"_ he mutters uninterestedly. I can imagine him sitting there with a blank expression.

"Yes, dear brother, I have been shot. I'm alive, in case you wondered." I know I'm being snarky, but I can't help it. I'm just a little bitter…

He sighs.

"_I know you're mad at me, Michael. I just…"_ I nod, even though I know he can't see me.

Only Castiel knows exactly _why _he left Dean, and that's very frustrating. It was one hell of a mess…

"Where are you, by the way? And how in the hell did you know I got shot?" I can't help my curiosity.

"_Well, Samandriel works in the ER, remember?" _he admonishes. I just shrug.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," I reply. I just know he's frowning.

"_Whatever. Anyway, I'm back at my hotel room…" _I can tell that he's descending deep into thought, and there's something that he wants to say.

"What's on your mind? Have you seen Dean?" His silence is my answer.

After a while, I hear him shift in his seat and cough lightly…

"_I saw him, yes. We…God, Michael, there's so much damage. What the fuck was I thinking?! He's seeing a goddamn shrink because of me. I feel like the worst person. I mean, we've…'talked,' if you know what I mean, but it's not enough. He had an appointment today, so I came back to the room to think. He didn't invite me back, though…"_

He's panicking, and I can definitely understand his worry. Dean is not the type of guy to forgive easy, and Castiel _definitely _has a lot of forgiveness to ask for. Seeing as they've 'talked,' at least I know that some sort of closure has been reached. Dean wouldn't fuck him for any other reason, given the situation. It breaks my heart to hear him so lost, but he brought it on himself. He has to find his own way to redemption.

"Look, Castiel, you will know what the right thing to do is, that I know. You're a Novak, so I don't expect anything less. Just…do what is best for _both _of you, not just one or the other. That's the mistake you made to begin with." He doesn't say anything, turning my words over a few times.

"_You're right. Thanks for hearing me out, Mike, I mean it. I'll call you a little later on. And…I don't begrudge you for choosing Sam, okay? You did what I didn't, and I…yeah."_

He was thoroughly pissed at me for bringing Sam here like I did, which is fair. However, I knew that it wasn't the best thing for him. Even though he ended up here anyway, I can proudly say that I had no hand in the inevitable disaster.

We say our goodbyes just as Sam walks back inside.

"Did you know Cas was dating a guy named Sam? That is so fucking weird!" I can't help but laugh.

"And that is why I love you," I say to him. He beams at me while climbing in bed beside me. It's a cramped fit, but we make it work.

"How was Cas?" he asks. I quirk an eyebrow at him. "What? You always have this look after you talk to him. What can I say? I know you all too well." I ruffle his hair as he laughs.

"That you do, Sam. That you do."

Looking down at the man beside me, I know that everything is definitely going to be alright. I just wish I could say the same for Castiel and Dean…

**~D*C~**

**I hope you guys enjoyed this! I figured another perspective would be a welcome change! Review, and let me know if I thought right. In the next chapter, Lisa arrives!**


	14. Chapter Ten

**My December**

**A/N: **I hope you guys liked that last Interlude! I enjoyed it immensely. Like I said last chapter, Lisa is officially on the scene, and the drama is about to explode.

**Setting:** This chapter takes place right before Christmas break. The beginning is set during lunch with the end taking place at the diner and then Bobby's junkyard.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

**~D*C~**

**Chapter Ten: **Hole

**Dean's POV**

I sigh, rubbing my temples in irritation. This is going to be a long ass lunch period…

"You know, there's another table you can sit at. It's wonderfully located on the other side of the fucking room."

"Well then, why don't you just go and dutifully occupy the motherfucker your goddamn self?!"

"You're incorrigible."

"You're unnecessary."

"Shouldn't you be flying back to Hell right about now?"

"Don't you have cocks to blow?"

Before Cas can even _think _to retort, my patience runs out, and I promptly shut both of them the fuck up.

"If either one of you says another fucking word, I'm going to rip both of your goddamn tongues out and shove them up both of your asses so you can have a taste of your own bullshit," I ground out.

Both of them effectively shrink away in fear. Good.

It seemed like it was going to be another wonderful morning. Cas has been staying over at my place ever since we became an item. Of course, everyone at school had questions and opinions and what have you, but none dared to ask. I know how to effectively terrorize others, among other things.

For the first time in a long time, I can actually say that I am happy. I still keep things to myself, but Cas doesn't ask any questions. That's just how we work. We trust one another completely, even though we still keep our cards hidden. I know eventually I'm going to have to tell him everything, but that will come in time. Even though I've grown unbelievably close to him, I don't feel that we're ready for that just yet. I want to make sure that we are solid before I unload all of my bullshit on the poor guy.

Like I said, though, I thought that today was going to be your average day here at Lawrence High. Boy was I wrong! As soon as I stepped through the door, Naomi was there waiting on me. Subsequently, I found myself in charge of the newest student, Lisa Braeden.

Now, I have said time and time again that I am rather open-minded when it comes to sex and sexuality. Obviously, I'm true to my word, seeing as I'm dating Cas after having bedded many, many females. When I first saw Lisa, I had to admit that she was very attractive. Caramel skin, deep chocolate eyes, chestnut curls, and a body to die for. Even my dick gave a nod of approval. However, there was nothing more to it other than an admittance of attraction.

I could feel her checking me out, something that I'm very used to by now. I've always been a sex object, unfortunately, so yeah.

Things were remotely peaceful until lunch, where she met Cas. Usually, most people who meet him either like him or ignore him. Lisa is the first person I've ever known to be hostile towards him.

"Dean, I'm ready to go," Cas gripes beside me. I just roll my eyes.

"Seriously?" I ask uninterestedly.

"You better be careful, Trenchcoat. Being such a bitch can drive a man away," Lisa says smoothly. I gotta give her props for that one.

"When was the last time you had one?" I quirk an eyebrow at Cas. That was a low blow, even for him.

Growing bored with their childish bickering, I waltz my damaged self out of the cafeteria and into the hallway.

I know neither will follow, which is a good thing. I need peace, and they know they will definitely _not _provide that at the moment. I'd surely slaughter them both with gory glee.

I take my time meandering through the halls, letting my thoughts and emotions dwindle into nothingness. It's moments like this that keep me sane.

Things have been rather calm as of late, which trust me, I'm not complaining about. I've been through far too much shit in my life to ask for anything more than happiness and tranquility. Sam has been doing well, and we've had no further encounters with our father. Bobby must have done a number on him that night that he came and picked him up.

And speaking of Sam, I'm going to have to talk to my brother dearest very soon. While Cas is spending more time at my place, Sam has been spending more time at Cas' place. Now, I'm not the type of brother to hinder his sibling's happiness in any way. However, I'm really not liking the forecast for the storm that is to be Sam and Michael. I can see it in his eyes that he wants Sammy. He's actually a good guy, so I can't be mad about that. It's just…I know that he's going to take Sam away from here…away from me. I don't know when or how, but he is, and it scares the shit outta me.

"Dean?"

I turn around slowly, already knowing who it is.

"Naomi! How nice to see you?! And before you ask, Lisa is a doll!" She rolls her eyes and giggles before walking up to me.

"Smartass. So, what has you roaming about like a transient?" I have to smirk at her casual attitude.

"You're in rare form today. Decided to take the kid gloves off?" I ask bluntly.

Ever since Cas and I started dating, Naomi has been rather moody. As I've stated before, I am really good at reading people. She has an issue with our coupling, that much is clear. The thing that I'm most concerned about, though, is which one of us isthe issue. I have a pretty good idea, but I won't go on the offensive until I know for sure…

"Cute. How're things with you and Castiel?" Wait for it…

"They're great, actually." Wait for it…

"I never figured you'd bat with the boys. What a waste…" And there you have it, folks.

And as usual, I am the problem child in the situation.

I knew from the first time we met that she wanted me. That much I was sure of. However, I knew that she had an interest in Cas, as well, so I started to have doubts. Now, those doubts are all cleared up.

"It's not a waste. If you knew anything about me, you'd know that," I say evenly. She frowns.

"That's the thing. I know nothing about you. Hell, I can't even find anything about you. If I hadn't met you, I wouldn't have even known you existed!" she fumes, her emotions getting the best of her.

"Trust me, it's better that way."

We stand there for a bit, simply staring at one another.

The proverbial line in the sand has been drawn. Just like Cas and I, we are each holding our cards close to our chest. This game is far from over, but I'm more than ready to play. She's sure of herself and her abilities, but I plan on taking pleasure in destroying her confidence.

"Do you honestly think that the two of you will make it? Castiel is a Novak. He has a bright future ahead of him, and I don't see him including you in it. Are you prepared for that?" She's bringing out the big guns.

What the fuck is up with everyone today? I swear, everyone wants to fucking argue! Time for me to end this…

"Either way, I'm not running into your arms. I've made it this far before him, so I'm more than certain I can make it after him. Are you prepared for when he succeeds without you? It must absolutely _suck _being a mere high school counselor! Meal tickets have an expiration date, love. You'd be wise to remember that."

I smirk at her before heading towards my next class. The bell is about to ring, and I don't want to be around when she has her breakdown.

That would be very unfortunate…

~D*C~

**Gabriel's POV**

"Ugh! Michael! I'm bored!"

"There's a bridge down the road. Feel free to go jump off of it."

I chuckle lightly to myself.

"No thanks! Don't wanna influence Sammy," I say slyly, earning myself a proper glare.

"Mention him again, and I'll _throw _you off that bridge," he says firmly. I shrug.

I've always been the sibling to push everyone's buttons, which I thoroughly enjoy. Michael has long been my favorite victim, his serious demeanor easy fodder for the fire of my humor. And now that he's found himself 'invested' with someone, he's going to be even more vulnerable to attack.

"Don't be teasing me now, dear brother!" I chide playfully. I get flipped off in return.

We are an odd bunch, my family. All of us have rather strong personalities, which is why we don't really communicate all that much. It's not that we don't love one another; it's just that we all know that an argument is sure to arise at some point. Very rarely agree on anything; our natural instinct is to deny, deny, deny. I think I'm the only one who missed that particular memo, though. I am not afraid to own up to anything, and trust me, I've done a lot of things worth denying.

I go to pester Michael, but stop when I hear the front door open. There's an argument going on, and I grow more and more excited. Oh, the fun I can have with this…

"She was being obtuse, Dean, that's why I wasn't quite nice to her. Why are you taking her side on this?!" Hm, Cassie's being a defensive bitch. This is very interesting…

"First off, you do _not _get to accuse me of taking anyone's side. Do not go there, Castiel." Mike and I both cringe at that particular tone. I may be bold, but a fool, I am not. Dean's ire is one that even _I _won't incite.

Cassie should tread lightly...

"Dean, you're defending her!" Oh shit.

"That's it, Novak. I am done with this discussion. You know that I love only you. You _know _that I am _in _love with only _you_. Was she being bitchy? Yes. Was it because she wanted me? Yes. Were you sinking to a level that you shouldn't have? Yes. Am I mad at you for it? No. Disappointed? Yes. Am I thoroughly _pissed _at being accused of going against the one bit of happiness in my life besides Sammy?! You're damn skippy, Castiel fucking Novak!"

For the first time in my life, I'm speechless.

I don't know the situation, but from what I'm hearing, I can see Dean's point. I am not afraid to admit that Dean Winchester is sexy as fuck, and I'm straight. It's only natural that anyone who comes into contact with him will want to fuck him senseless. Whoever this girl is, I am not surprised by her actions.

I can only imagine what she must have said to cause Cassie to react so possessively, though. He's usually the calm one in the situation, so I'm more than a little surprised that he'd go off on someone. It _is _Dean, though. The relationship that they have is unlike any other I have ever seen. Michael and I both agree that this can go horribly wrong, given both of their personalities. Cassie is stubborn, and Dean is broken. The sad part is that it'll probably be Cassie who does the hurting and all that.

"Gabriel, let's go to the diner. I don't trust myself alone right now." I'm up before he finishes his sentence. Mike and I share a look.

I spare Cassie a long look before following Dean out the door. This is going to be an interesting night…

~D*C~

"God hates me. He really does."

I can only offer a sad smirk as the young lady makes her way to our table. I can only guess she's the one causing all the trouble.

"Hey, Dean! I didn't know you came here!" she says softly.

"I didn't know you worked here," he lets out slowly…cautiously.

I can see it in her eyes. She is full on infatuated with my companion here. This is exactly what set Cassie off then.

Hm.

"And who is this?" she asks nonchalantly. I'm more than certain she can see the resemblance, though.

"I'm pretty sure you can figure _that _out, Lisa. Can you just take our orders? You've done more than enough already."

We both quirk a rather stunned eyebrow at Dean. I knew from first sight that he's a blunt one, but damn. He's pulling no punches on this one, it seems. I see why he asked me to come with him. He'd be hell if he was alone…

"Look, Dean, I'm sorry about that, alright? I never really meant to start anything. I just…yeah," she mutters. Dean simply looks at her for a second before nodding.

That's as good as it gets, I guess.

We order quickly, sending Lisa on her way before anymore can be said. I look at Dean.

"You are really fucked up, aren't you?" I know it's blunt, but that's just me. He still smiles, though, if not a little ruefully.

"Yeah, I really am. I wasn't always like this, though…" he says slowly. I can tell he's far away from here, though.

"What happened, Dean?" I ask seriously. I can tell he's gonna be a part of my family, regardless of what happens between he and Cassie, so I need to do this. I need to know a bit of who he is.

Then, I can start pranking him.

"What didn't happen? Our mom was killed when we were very young, Sam and I. Our father lost his goddamn mind shortly thereafter, becoming a bounty hunter. Sammy got lucky and didn't have to deal with that shit. I, on the other hand, did. I've been beat, stabbed, shot, and all other things you can imagine. Hell, I spent a couple months being tortured, so yeah. We only got away from that because my uncle suggested that we move here."

Well, there goes the neighborhood.

"Cas knows about the same, but one day, I plan on telling him everything. The only reason I'm sharing this bit with you is because I'm hurt, and I need you to know just in case."

I can only imagine what that means, but I decide it's best not to ask.

As I had told Michael earlier, I knew that Dean was all kinds of fucked up, but I had no idea why or just how much. Now, I think I have a good idea of both.

I might not be pranking him. He'll probably shoot me or some shit.

"For what it's worth, I agree with you," I offer. He nods in return.

When Lisa returns with our food, the air at the table is much lighter, understanding overtaking the anger and frustration from earlier. We eat in comfortable silence, only speaking randomly on various subjects.

I know that he and my brother have a lot to discuss when we get back. Hell, they have a lot to discuss even long after that. I just hope that Cassie keeps and open mind and shuts out all that everyone else has been saying. Should he fuck this up…

I don't even want to think about that.

**~D*C~**

**And here's another chapter! Things with Lisa are far from over, as you'll see in the next chapter. Also, Naomi makes her move, and lots of dirty things spring from it. And keep a close watch on everything. There're hints as to Scout's parentage. See you guys next chapter for the New Year's party from Hell! Review time!**


	15. Chapter Eleven

**My December**

**A/N: **This is going to be a rather long chapter, so bear with me. A lot is going to happen, and even more is going to be explained! And this wonderful chapter is dedicated to Chrisinele-hime! Love you girlie!

**Setting: **The beginning of the chapter takes place the morning of the New's Year's party, but ends the following morning.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

**~D*C~**

**Chapter Eleven: **Sober

**Michael's POV**

"Hey, what's wrong?"

The warmth radiating from the hand on my shoulder sends fire straight to both my heart and my groin. I slowly draw in a breath before removing my face from my palms and looking up at him. He offers me a kind smile, which I very quickly and willingly return.

"Sit for me, will you?" I ask softly, motioning to the chair across from me. He says nothing as he acquiesces.

I regard the young man in front of me with my full and complete attention. I take note of the freckles dusting his nose, the rich hazel of his young but wise eyes, the smooth tan skin encasing strong muscle, and the oh so enticing lips made for kissing. Sam is quite the striking figure, but I'm looking much deeper this time.

I focus on his eyes (although I'd much rather look at those lips, probably even lower…), searching the soul that lies behind. In my heart, I know that what I am about to do is wrong, oh so wrong. I love my brother; that much is true. However, I know that he's on track for something much more than what Naomi or I or _anyone _could ever hope for, and it's all because of Dean. Castiel doesn't need me…doesn't need this, so I'm going to offer it to someone who needs it.

"Sam. It's come to my attention that you have quite the desire to pursue law. Am I correct in my assumption?" A smile forms on my lips as his eyes sharpen.

"Yes," he says firmly, leaving no room for argument.

"Good. There's something that I'd like to offer to you. I don't require an answer right now, so don't feel rushed or pressured. I'd like one at least by the summer, though."

There's a brief moment of silence as we stare at one another. There's something going on in that brilliant mind of his, but I have no clue as to what. That's the thing that attracts me to him, though. He's open yet a mystery to me. The only thing stopping me from saying 'fuck it' and lunging across this table is the fact that he's underage. I may be smitten, but a fool I am not.

"This was meant for Cas, wasn't it?" he asks slowly. My eyes widen at the statement.

"How did you…" He raises a hand to stop me.

"You and Dean are so much alike it's scary. Whenever he's about to do something that will upset someone else, he gets real quiet and goes real deep in thought. I can practically _feel _your frustration right about now," he says with a smirk.

Had it been anyone else, I would have been shocked. Seeing as it's Sam, however, nothing surprises me with him. He's so intuitive about everything. I can see why Dean protects him so.

"You don't miss a beat, do you?" He nods, which makes me laugh.

I sigh.

"You are right, though. It's a scholarship program that Naomi had intended for Castiel. However, I don't see him fit for it any longer. His future now lies in the hands of another…" I offer wistfully.

"Dean," he states. I nod in reply.

He leans back in his seat, turning it all over in his head for a bit.

"Okay. I'll consider it. I've got to talk it over with Dean, though. I always go for his approval on things." I smile at that.

"Okay then. That takes a load off of my chest," I say playfully. Sam tosses a pillow at me.

"You're an ass for this, though. And when I tell Dean, you know he's going to tell Cas. If he doesn't, I'm sure Naomi will. Are you ready for that particular discussion?" he asks, quirking an eyebrow.

I sigh, defeated.

"I wouldn't have it any other way. We are Novaks, after all. I am not afraid of my brother. Hell, he ought to thank me for it. Unless he fucks this up, he'll be on track to stay with Dean." Sam shakes his head.

"That's a big if, Mikey."

"I know, Sammy Boy, I know…"

~D*C~

**Jo's POV**

"Is that everything?"

"Yea, no thanks to you!"

"Oh shut it, Dean Winchester! I'm providing the venue, so you don't get to bitch about _shit_!"

We glare at one another playfully before erupting into laughter.

I can't express how fucking happy I am to have Dean back in my life. Over Christmas break, we sat down with Mom and talked about things. Sure, there are still some issues that we need to discuss, but overall, we're back on a positive note.

"Hey! Cas! Get your stupid boyfriend!"

"Do you _really _expect me to be able to contain him, Josephine? Seriously?"

"…whatever."

Cas has been an amazing influence on Dean's life. For the first time in a long, long time, Dean Winchester is one happy ass camper. As a matter of fact, it's because of him that we are currently turning my mom's bar into Party Frickin' Central.

"_Let's throw a big ass party!" he says randomly. I quirk an eyebrow at him._

"_Why?"_

"_To celebrate my muthafuckin' happiness! This shit only comes once in a goddamn lifetime, you know."_

_I can't help but shake my head at him._

"_Alright, but you provide the booze and shit. Your party, your budget."_

I move behind the bar, checking to see who all Dean invited. I almost jump out of my skin as I feel a presence beside me…

"Jesus, Meg! Seriously?!" I roar. She simply shrugs.

"You'll be alright. Anywho, who's on the menu for tonight?"

I smirk at her choice of words.

Surprisingly, Meg and I have grown quite close. We spend almost all of our time together now. Sure, she's still a snake in the grass, but her bite is no longer aiming at me. As a matter of fact, the two of us have become quite the raging terror on campus. Even Naomi leaves us the fuck alone, which is absolutely wonderful. She hasn't tried anything as of late, but that doesn't mean anything.

"I'm looking at the list now. You know, though, that there will be others who aren't invited that show."

"Of course. Oh well, the more…the 'merrier.'"

We both laugh as Dean steps around the corner.

"Alright ladies, let's finish this shit up. Party starts in an hour."

~D*C~

**Dean's POV**

"Woooohoooo! Paaaaaarrrrty!"

I roll my eyes as yet another asshole decides to announce that it's a fucking party.

"No shit, dipshit!"

I smirk as I make my way over to the bar. So far, tonight has been pretty good. Everybody and their damn dog showed up, but that's to be expected. I really don't give two shits who's showed up, though. This night is for Cas and I.

A light tap on my shoulder pulls me out of my thoughts…

"Hey, Dean."

"Lisa," I say softly, nodding my head at her slowly.

"I'm really glad you invited me. This is great!" she says with a smile. I can't help but smile in return.

Lisa and I have come to an agreement in regards to our relationship. Of course, Cas still can't stand her, but they seem to have come to a truce, albeit begrudgingly.

"_No." I just stare at him, letting him realize just how futile his refusal to comply is._

"_Look, Castiel, let's just do it. He's obviously not going to let us go without doing what he says."_

"_I am no one's pawn…ow! Seriously?!"_

_I just stare down at the two of them uninterestedly. I have them both in an arm-lock. Each time one of them pisses me off, I tighten my hold._

"_Castiel!"_

"_Fine! Goddammit, Dean, I comply, I comply!"_

_I smirk victoriously as I stand, letting them up. They glare at me, but I don't care._

"_I knew you two would see things my way."_

"And…you just resurfaced. Sometimes, I want to offer you an oxygen tank whenever you dive into your thoughts." I just shrug.

"Trust me, it wouldn't really help," I say noncommittally. She giggles.

"I could only imagine if you had a kid. He'd be one kickass little boy. And before you ask, I can't see you having a little girl. God wouldn't do that to you." We both laugh quietly at that.

"He'd be my little Scout, the baddest damn kid around."

"That's really cute, though."

"Oh, please, whatever."

I shake my head as I notice her eyes glowing with mirth…and something else. It's time to end this conversation.

"Go, have fun," I say quietly yet commanding. She takes a step back, ducking her head slightly. I know she's frowning.

"Alright. Maybe I'll see you before the end of the night."

With that, she walks off, disappearing into the crowd. I know I hurt her feelings, but it is what it is. I am not interested in Lisa in the least bit. Honestly, I can't wait until she's over this infatuation. It's going to take time, but it's going to happen.

A familiar voice grabs my attention, drawing a smile onto my face. He doesn't see me as I move up behind him. I smirk as he jumps, spinning around quickly in my arms.

"That's impolite, Dean." That's his usual line when I fluster him.

"Oh, can it and kiss me."

I smile as his lips gently meet mine.

Cas and I haven't breached that certain point in our relationship, but I'm in no rush. He knows that I desire him sexually, but he's never done anything like that. Being the wonderful boyfriend that I am, I've made it a point to push those thoughts aside until he's ready.

"I saw you chatting with Braeden. She's such a cur," he mumbles against my lips. I laugh airily.

"What have I told you, Cas. Drop it." He rolls his eyes but laughs all the same.

"Whatever. Let's…dance," he says. Who am I to deny him?

"Alright, but try and keep up. I'm going to teach you a few things…"

~D*C~

"Dean! Fancy seeing you here!"

"Dear God…"

I grimace as a very drunk Naomi throws her arms around me. I want nothing more than to puke my fucking brains out, but I resist the temptation.

"You know what? You are one sexy man, Dean Winchester. I want your sexiness all over me…and in me…" she whispers in my ear before licking the side of my face.

I squeeze my eyes shut as old memories and instincts begin to cause a stir…

"Naomi, you're drunk, very, very drunk. It'd be best if you went somewhere and passed out," I say evenly. I can't let her get to me…

"Why Dean, are you trying to get rid of me? What? Have I caught you with your pants down? Where's you little boy toy, by the way?" I can feel a pressure building inside of me, trying to get out.

I take deep breaths, thinking of Cas as I try and not go there with her.

"Naomi, please, just go away," I try one last time.

Unfortunately, she decides to go for the goal and reach into my pants. As I level my eyes with hers, I feel a rage bubble up inside of me, releasing all of my former demons in one grand explosion.

"You are not fucking drunk, you conniving bitch," I ground out. She cuts her eyes at me.

"I guess what they say is true, huh, kiddo. You are very smart…too smart."

We stand there, sizing each other up. The happy, bright and shiny Dean from earlier is gone now. I say a quick apology to Cas before completely slipping back into my old skin…the skin of darkness. I smirk lazily at my prey.

"Damn straight, Mimi." My smirk turns feral as she backs up a little.

Too little, too late…

I stalk around her slowly, watching as a variety of expressions form on her delicate features.

"What are you planning, Winchester?" she asks cautiously. I chuckle darkly.

"You tell me. You seem to know me so well, hm?"

She frowns, a hand coming up to cover her heart. She moves to dart off suddenly, but I am much too quick for her.

"Where ya goin'?" I chirp gleefully. Her eyes widen in horror.

"Dean, stop. I don't know anything. I wish I did, but I don't. It's almost like you don't even fucking exist!" she utters desperately.

Even in her desperation, though, she still wants me.

"What do you want, Naomi? Really. What. Do. You. Want." She wraps her arms around herself while looking away from me.

"You know exactly what I want," she mutters.

She only has a moment before she finds herself pinned to the wall, my lips latched on to the sensitive skin of her neck. She moans out loud when my hands firmly cup her breasts. I work my way agonizingly slow to the other side of her neck, leaving angry bruises in my wake. Just as slowly, I drag a finger through her cleavage and down her stomach, teasing the bare flesh at her waistline. She trembles against me, fear and arousal each warring for dominance.

"I want you to remember this, Mimi," I whisper harshly as I snap open the button of her jeans.

I use my other hand and firmly grasp it, moving it to wrap around my erection.

"I am not one to be played with. Every time that you even _think _about fucking with me, you will remember this night."

I forcefully move her hand up and down my length as I relentlessly drive my fingers into her folds. She's biting her lip hard enough to draw blood, trying so damn hard not to give in. It's a useless battle, though. I know I'm hitting that perfect spot, driving her absolutely wild. I can feel her walls beginning to tighten just as my balls do the same. Our orgasms are nigh…

"I'm about to offer you a gift, something that is intimate and special and is meant to be shared between lovers. Sadly, this is a gift most bittersweet. You see, we are not lovers. This is a gift between enemies, something that is dark and twisted and brimming with sheer and utter hatred. I believe that there was once a good girl somewhere in there, but she got lost in the bitch that you are now. This is my ode to her…" I state calmly and evenly, even as I stand right on the edge of oblivion.

I lean my forehead against hers, looking deep into her eyes as we both cum.

"Dean!" she whispers as her juices begin to flow. An unwanted smile is about to blossom on her flushed face, but I am about to kill it as well as her pleasure.

"Cas," I state firmly, smirking at the dark look at mars her features.

I remove myself from her, leaving behind a living, breathing mess. I smirk at her as I fix myself up.

"You…might wanna go get cleaned up. Don't want anyone to go back and tell on you, hm?" I walk off as she shrieks in frustration, drawing a few stares.

I return to my senses as I make my way through the crowd, looking for the one person who can make this all right. I sigh in relief as I see a familiar shock of dark locks.

"Cas!" I shout over the music. He turns to me, confused. I know he could hear the desperation in my voice.

"What is it?" he asks when I reach him.

"I need you," I whisper, my voice cracking. He says nothing as he grabs my hand and tugs me towards the door.

I don't know where this is going to lead, but I need this.

I need him.

~D*C~

"Oh my God, Dean…"

"I'm sorry, baby, I am so sorry…"

The energy inside the car is bittersweet.

As we move together, the world around us disappears, leaving only us and our lovemaking.

I told Cas what I had done as soon as we had stepped outside. I am not proud of it, but it's what I do. I just knew he was going to go off and break up with me. Instead, he kissed me. He kissed me with all of the passion of a lover, and all of the care of a friend.

He was trying to make me forget.

I had picked him up and all but ran to the car. Seconds later, we were naked and making out.

As much as I would love to say that it was all sweet and romantic, I cannot. True, it was Cas' first time, so I really should have pushed for him to let me prep him and all of that, but it wasn't what we needed at the moment. I needed him to hold me together, and he needed me let him. With just a little bit of Vaseline and hushed mutterings, we became one.

Now, I've fucked a few people before, so he is far from my first. However, this is the first time that I have ever been emotionally attached to someone. I love him, and I'm in love with him. From the moment I entered him, I knew I made the right choice.

"I love you so much, Cas. You don't even know…" I mutter into his shoulder.

"I love you, too, Dean. God, do I love you…"

We move at a frantic pace, pleasure rippling through our veins. He's so beautiful, riding me with all that he's got. There's not much room in the backseat, but it works for us. I don't care where I am, as long as I am with my angel.

His hands find purchase on my chest, his nails digging in as he finds his sweet spot. With his head thrown back in pleasure, he moans my name over and over and over again.

I meet his thrusts with much more gusto now, knowing he's seeing stars right about now. That's what I want for him, though. I want him to achieve the greatest pleasure that he can with me. I want to be the one to have him baring his all for his one and only. I want to be his everything, just like he is mine.

As his movements begin to get more and more sporadic, I know that his orgasm is near. Distantly, I hear everyone begin the countdown to midnight. How cliché…

"Dean, I'm about to cum," he says before taking my face in his hands and kissing me for all he's worth.

This year, I've rang in the New Year right. As fireworks explode above us, we bask in the afterglow. Tomorrow, the world may go all to shit, but it doesn't matter tonight. Everything that does is sitting right inside this Impala…

~D*C~

**Lisa's POV**

"And what do we have here? Hm..."

I lean closer to my phone, looking at the pictures from the night before. It was fun. I met a lot of cool people, and even made some new friends. However, I did not achieve the one goal that I had set out to achieve.

"Oh Dean, why must you be so elusive?"

I sigh, knowing exactly why I failed.

"Stupid Castiel Novak…or should I say, stupid Naomi?"

I blink my eyes a few times, making sure that I am not seeing things.

"When the hell did this happen?" I whisper to myself.

On my screen is a picture of Naomi and Dean making out in the back of the bar. I knew I saw her looking at his ass that first day, but I didn't think it was reciprocated. He is with Castiel, after all.

I scroll through my photos for a bit before returning back to the one of Dean and Naomi. I look at it for a minute, trying to gather my wits about me. That's when I notice something else, something totally unexpected…

"Meg? Jo? What the fuck?!"

**~D*C~**

**Uh oh! Things just got a little more interesting! I had intended on this to be more Lisa-centric, but it didn't quite work out that way. And sadly, the end is coming very soon. I really hope you guys like. In the next chapter, the drama between Dean, Naomi, and Cas picks up, and Cas and Michael end up arguing. Plus, Scout's parentage is **_**heavily **_**hinted at, so read carefully. As always, reviews are appreciated. Chrisinele-hime, this one's for you, kid!**


	16. Chapter Twelve

**My December**

**A/N: **This is a drama-filled chapter. There is a lot going on, so take notes lol And nimthriel, this chapter is for you, lovebug. I'm going to apologize for your feels ahead of time.

**Setting: **This chapter takes place a week after the last one. It starts during second period, and ends later that night.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

**~D*C~**

**Chapter Twelve: **Haunted

**Jess' POV**

"You know, I've gotten used to seeing you here now."

"That's what happens when you assault a woman's vagina…" he mumbles.

"Huh?" I ask, not quite understanding what he said. He smirks in return.

"You don't even want to know."

I shrug, smiling kindly in his direction regardless.

Over the past week, Dean Winchester has found himself sitting in the principal's office every other day. It's always the same thing, though, which really bugs me for whatever reason. I was raised to be courteous yet discerning of people. I can tell that Dean is a great guy beneath the dark and sinister exterior, which makes his presence here all the more upsetting…

"Scout."

I jump at the sound of his voice, having gotten lost within my own thoughts.

"I must apologize. I was…"

"Lost in your own thoughts? I know the feeling."

"I swear, sometimes I need an oxygen tank so that I don't drown in there." He chuckles lightly.

"Someone offered me one just last week," he says quietly.

"So, Scout. That's a boy's name, right?" I pry gently. He offers me a wry smile.

"According to some quiet and lonely corner of my mind, yes," he offers. I giggle.

"It's pretty cute, actually. I'd like to name my son that one day."

We look at one another, gentle smiles on our faces.

There's something about him that makes me want to do that for him. I could see being the mother of his child. He'd be really cute. With Dean's blond hair and a hazel-ish mixture for his eyes, he'd be a knockout with the ladies. Sadly, I don't see it being a two-parent household. We are on opposite ends of the spectrum, so a tryst between us would most surely end in disaster. Demons and visionaries just don't mix…

And…where the hell did that come from?

"Glad to see you back. I was just about to throw you a life jacket." We both erupt into laughter.

"Thank you for thinking about me. It might suck to die from mental incapacitation. Just a little, though."

We both shake our heads.

"Jess?" I look up at him.

"Yeah?"

"What is it that you dream about?" he asks quietly. I smile warmly at him.

"I dream of being a psychiatrist. I refuse to work under Naomi, so I'm waiting until college to start training."

"I don't blame you there," he mutters. I decide to ask him exactly what's been nagging at me.

"Naomi is the reason you keep ending up here, isn't she." I state rather than ask. He nods.

"Yeah. She's pissed at me, although I don't really give a shit. She needs to learn her place." I nod in agreement.

"Trust me when I say, Dean Winchester, you are not the only one who thinks that." He quirks an eyebrow.

"Really." It's my turn to smirk.

"Why do you think she's stuck as a counselor and nothing else? They won't promote her because of her immaturity and inability to command respect." He smirks triumphantly.

"Jess, you just made my day. It's a little bit more bearable now," he says honestly.

"Glad I can help…" I offer slowly. I hesitate to finish my statement…

"Don't hesitate. Whatever you have to say, you know I'll take it to heart," he whispers kindly. I smile.

"Whenever I become a full-blown psychiatrist, come see me. I know you have some demons that haunt you, and I'd like to help any way that I can. I'm graduating this year, but I've already started some classes."

"So, see you in four years, then?"

"Yeah. And tell Sam that if he still needs a study buddy, I'm always willing to do that for him. He's an advanced kid, so he'd benefit from it." He beams at me…well…as much as Dean could possibly beam…

"You know what, Jess? I can't wait for these four years to be up."

~D*C~

**Naomi's POV**

"Damn you, Dean Winchester."

I've grumbled this to myself too many times to count over the last week. I want nothing more than to…oh I don't know! I'm so conflicted in my feelings right now! Sure, I should be thoroughly pissed (which I am), but I can't help but be even more turned on. It was downright hateful, but it felt so damn good to be touched by a man, especially a man that I've desired.

"Why must I feel like this?!" I whisper to no one in particular.

I'm more than certain now that Dean's heart belongs to Castiel, but I also know that his darker side is capable of forgetting about Castiel in order to inflict pain and suffering. I've come across many students over the years, some seriously fucked up in the head. Dean, however, is in a league all his own. Like I told him, there is no information out there about him that can lead me to understand who he is or where he comes from. I'm blind when it comes to him.

"And that's what frustrates me the most. I need to know about you, Dean."

I feel a little bad. A rage comes over me every time I see him, so I've been nailing his ass on everything that I can. What pisses me off the most, though, is the fact that he seems so unaffected by it. He just looks at me blankly before walking on to the principal's office. It seems I won't be getting a reaction out of him so easily.

"Naomi?"

I look up to find Castiel standing in my doorway.

"Yes, Castiel?"

"I need to speak with you…about New York."

~D*C~

Students fly out of my way as I storm down the hallway. I am a woman on a mission, and I _dare _anyone to get in my way.

"Sam Winchester!" I call down the hall. I'm pretty shocked at the one who turns around…

"Naomi? Hey, what's up?" he asks, kind curiosity in his eyes. God, he's such a sweetheart.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" He nods, following me to a quiet part of the hallway.

"You know Castiel's brother, Michael, correct?" He nods slowly.

"Did he speak with you regarding a scholarship program?"

The moment his eyes sharpen, I know to start backing off.

"He did. I have not agreed to it as of yet. Let me guess, you've talked with Castiel about this? Oh, and let me also go out on a limb and say you called Michael to ask him about it." I can only hang my head in shame. Goddamn Winchesters…

"Sam, look, I didn't…I don't…" I go to say, but he stops me.

"Don't. This 'complication' is not something that I have any control over. You will refer all inquiries to the Novaks." I nod numbly at his commanding tone.

He walks off from me, leaving me to my own thoughts.

"'Complication' is right…"

~D*C~

**Castiel's POV**

"I can't believe this!"

"Cas, you're overreacting. Just calm down, and look at things from his point of view."

"You would say that."

I instantly regret saying that with the look that he gives me. Leave it to me to fuck things up.

"Dean, I'm sorry…" He looks at me uninterestedly. He's pissed…

"You know what, Cas? I am _sick _of you always doing that to shit to me. I swear, one of these days, you're going to be the reason I just stop fucking living." My heart stops at the statement.

I go to say something to him, but stop when he walks away.

"Fuck."

I sigh, pulling my phone out and texting Michael to come pick me up.

When he arrives, I slide in the passenger seat without a word. We remain silent until we stop at the first intersection…

"When were you gonna tell me, huh? I'm your brother, you know."

"Funny, seeing as you've had nothing to do with me since I moved. What is this really about, Castiel?"

"You know what, Naomi was right. I shouldn't be wasting my time with you or Dean or any of this nonsense! I've been dallying with failure…"

I jump when Michael slams his hand on the dashboard and turns to me with wrath in his eyes…

"If I ever hear those words escape you lips again, so help me _God _I will rip the tongue from your very mouth, do you understand me?! I have let you get away with a _lot _since I have been here, but that shit you just spewed forth will _not _go unreprimanded. That bitch knows nothing…_nothing_, Castiel. Father would be ashamed to call you his son if he heard that."

In all of my life, I have never heard Michael speak in such a tone. In that moment, he really looked to be the sheer embodiment of his namesake.

I say nothing. I'm too scared to.

All I can do is hang my head.

"Pathetic. And to think that Dean is in love with you, yet you call him a failure. _This _is why I chose Sam over you. You have a real chance to be happy here, don't you see that?! You fuck this up, and you won't _ever _get the chance again."

He's right.

"I…fuck it…I won't lie and say that I didn't mean what I said. I'm just…I don't know," I say honestly.

"Well, you have better get it figured out before it's too late."

With that, he starts driving again. I can't help but feel that my world is falling down around my shoulders, and it's all my fault.

"Dean…please forgive me…"

~D*C~

**Meg's POV**

"So, you and Jo, huh."

"Shut it, Winchester."

I glare at him playfully before joining him in his laughter. I never intended for anything to happen between Jo and I. Seriously. I don't know; it just sorta…happened…

"Why are we here, Dean?" I ask curiously. He looks off to the side.

"You and Cas seem to have this…connection. I figured that maybe you could help me. I'm at my wit's end…" he says quietly. My heart clenches at the tone.

I knew the moment he pulled up and blew randomly that something was up. I'm always the last person that Dean turns to when shit hits the proverbial fan.

"Go on," I nudge gently. He offers me a sad smile in return.

"We're naturally up and down, which doesn't bother me, mind you. Today, though, he actually turned on me. I had to keep myself from ripping him limb from limb, Meg."

I frown. Castiel doesn't get like that unless…

"Naomi," I state bluntly. The look he gives me says it all.

"She had told him about a scholarship or something that Michael has a hand in. Michael, though, offered it to Sam…"

"Which pissed Castiel off, didn't it. But he adores Sam, though, doesn't he?"

"He does, but I know what he's really pissed about. He's mad because Michael didn't even offer it to him. I tried to get him to think about it, but then he…" He doesn't finish the statement, but I already know the ending.

My frown deepens. Like Dean said, they have always been up and down. That's to be expected, though. Castiel is logical and inexperienced, and Dean is just…well…Dean. Even so, they work like no other. Lately, though, I too have noticed a change. As the school year draws closer to the end, I've seen how much deeper in thought he's been. I've also noticed how hard the instructors have been pushing us all to move on and up to bigger and better things. Still, Castiel has his own mind…

"I don't know, Dean. I'll look into it for you, though. I want this to end on a happy note for you two," I say honestly.

"Me too. I don't see it happening, though. I had a dream last night, but I'm beginning to think it was something more…a warning, perhaps."

We lapse into an uneasy silence. I am definitely confronting Castiel tomorrow.

For the first time in my life, I begin to pray…

~D*C~

**Michael's POV**

"Sam?"

"Oh, hey! There you are! I've been looking for you!"

I smile warmly as he jogs up to me.

Upon arriving home, I was surprised to see Gabriel standing outside waiting for us. Castiel walked in without a word, but I could care less. The look on Gabriel's face said enough.

"I know. Gabriel warned me, per se, when we arrived home this evening," I offer nonchalantly. He rolls his eyes.

"Damn Gabriel. I take it you've had to deal with a pissy Cas?" I nod.

"How is Dean?" He looks off to the side sadly…

"He's falling apart, and I don't think even I can save him this time," he mutters quietly.

"He's strong, Sam. He'll be fine," I offer hopefully. Sam gives me a stern look.

"He may be strong, Mike, but this…this is something new for him. I love Cas, but I swear. If he fucking hurts Dean, I will have his head on a silver platter," he states firmly, emotion deepening his voice.

I gently pull him into a hug.

Like the boy in my arms, I too see where this is going to end very badly. However, my worry lies somewhere a little more selfish.

I don't want this to take Sam away from me.

"Sam, I…" I begin, but he cuts me off.

"I'm going."

I blink, surprise evident on my face.

"Sam, are you saying what I think you're saying?" I ask, just to be sure.

"Yeah. I'm going to do this program for you…with you. Shit is about to go way south here, and I am tired of living my life waiting for the next bad thing to happen. Take me away from here, Michael. Please."

I know it's wrong, oh so wrong, but I don't give a damn anymore.

I'm taking what's mine.

"Done."

I say nothing more as I take his face into my hands and kiss him. Nothing else exists in this moment but the two of us, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I refuse to be like my brother. I will not waste my chance at happiness.

"Sam?" I ask quietly when we part.

"Yes, Michael, this is okay." Typical Sam.

As I lean in for another kiss, I know that with us, at least, everything is going to be alright…

**~D*C~**

**The end is very near. The next Interlude is the last, and then just three more chapters. I already have the ending in mind, and I think it'll be one that will satisfy most of you. Up next is an Interlude. Lisa's wedding happens, and Dean and Cas make a decision. Also, there's a phone call to Scout's mother…**


	17. Interlude Four

**My December**

**A/N: **This is the last Interlude! I'm sad that the end is near, but happy all the same. I hope you guys enjoy! This chapter is dedicated to Chrisinele-hime and nimthriel. You two have been my wonderful muses who I couldn't live without. Muah ^-^

**Setting: **This one is set the day of Lisa's wedding. The beginning takes place minutes before, and the end is set the morning after.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

**~D*C~**

**Interlude Four: **Maybe

**Dean's POV**

"_Hello?"_

I smile into the phone, glad to hear her voice.

"Hey," I whisper warmly into the phone. She giggles lightly.

"_It's good to hear from you. How's Scout?" _she asks softly.

"Just like his mom," I offer warmly.

It wasn't meant to happen, Jess and I. I had decided to take her up on her offer once I graduated. I was in an epically fucked up version of disrepair after Cas left. It was just so…sudden. I didn't have time to grieve or fight or anything, so I just collapsed in on myself. I can honestly say that for now, I am past it all. There's no reason to really focus on this shit anymore. Not too sure I'm really ready to forgive him as of yet, though…

"_We are eventually going to have to bring him in and tell him, you know. I talked to Charlie about it last night," _she says matter-of-factly.

"You know, I still haven't told Sam you two ended up together. He'd flip," I say, snickering to myself.

"_Ha ha, it is to laugh. Look, Dean Winchester, don't try that tactic on me. No avoiding it. I…every day, I both thank you and curse you, you know. I know you've kept it quiet for me, and I am so thankful for that. However, he deserves better, and so do we." _I sigh.

As I said earlier, it wasn't supposed to happen. I had been going to see her for about six months, and things were getting progressively worse for me. She was having me face demons that I was nowhere near ready to face. During a particularly hellish session, I snapped…

"_Stop it, Jess, just fucking stop it! Please, just fucking stop!" I cry out desperately._

"_No. It won't just go away, Dean. You have to confront it," she states evenly. I wheel around at her._

"_I am not some fucking freak show you can watch for your fucking entertainment, you fucking cunt," I spit viciously. She just looks at me sternly._

"_That would be pointless, and you know it. Dean, I am not about to back down from this. It is my job, and that is what I am going to do."_

_I stare at her blankly for a moment before flinging the table between us across the room and getting in her face._

"_Fuck you," I spit venomously._

_We sit and stare at each other for what seems like an eternity. Then…_

…_it just happens._

It was violent, angry, destructive sex. Our sessions were always intense, but there didn't seem to be any underlying sexual tension. If I'm honest, I don't know nor do I care why it happened. I got Scout out of it, so it all worked out in the end.

I've kept it all a secret for two reasons. Firstly, it was professionally wrong, and could've cost Jess her job. I didn't want that, not after she had worked so damn hard for it and for me. The second reason is because of the way it happened. It was a dark and twisted way to conceive a child. How do you tell your child that he came about from his father accosting his therapist in a fit of rage?

"I know, Jess, I know. And we will as soon as Cas leaves," I whisper sadly.

"_How is that going? I know the other day you were in a much better place. Hell, I almost didn't recognize you when you walked in," _she says chuckling lightly. I roll my eyes.

"Whatever. I am in a better place, though. I've gotten the closure that I need. I'm gonna say what I have left to say tonight, and then…whatever happens, happens," I say truthfully.

"_Alright. Call me if you feel any darkness creeping in. And tell Sam hi next time you talk to him. Charlie really misses him," _Jess says kindly.

With a promise to do so, I end the call and head back inside. As I take my seat, I smile down at Scout before ruffling his hair.

"Who were you spweaking with?" he asks innocently. I quirk an eyebrow at him.

"You already know, don't you," I state evenly. He shrugs his little shoulders.

"I can't wait to meet her. She better be pwetty, Daddy. If she is ugwy, then I might gwow up to be ugwy," he mutters, frowning to himself.

Little shit.

I look across the room to see Cas looking over in our direction. I offer him a small smile before shifting my gaze to the back as the music begins to play…

"Later, Cas, later…"

~D*C~

**Castiel's POV**

"Thanks for coming you guys, especially you, Dean."

"I'm just glad to see you walk down that aisle," he says back jokingly. We all share a laugh after.

"It was a pleasure, Lisa, but it's time we retire for the evening. Poor little Scout here is bushed," I say quietly. Said child is currently sound asleep on his father's shoulder.

We say our goodbyes and head separate ways. I glance at Dean on the way to our cars.

"So, this is it then," I say quietly. Dean looks at me.

"No. Follow me to the house," he says firmly, leaving no room for argument.

I nod before heading to my own car and doing as he says.

The entire drive is spent turning the last few days over in my head. We have both found closure, but I've yet to earn his forgiveness. I am honestly wondering if I'll ever receive it. After what I did, though, I really don't deserve it.

When we pull up, I wait a bit as he heads straight inside to get Scout put to bed. It can be a rather precarious situation. Like his father, he is a very light sleeper.

I finally head inside after about fifteen minutes, figuring it's safe to head in. I'm not surprised to see Dean waiting for me in the kitchen.

"He actually didn't wake up for once," he says, smirking as he hands me a cup of coffee.

"I was hoping he wouldn't," I offer in return. He shrugs.

We stare at one another for a moment, letting the air settle around us. This is it. He is finally going to have his final say, something that I robbed him off all those years ago.

"You left," he says bluntly. I want to hang my head in shame, but I refrain from doing so.

"The thing that truly hurt was the fact that you didn't even give me a chance to say or do anything. You let me tell you how much you meant to me, and then…you basically said fuck it and left. You don't know how shitty it felt to have the one person who could finally make it all better basically throw all of my shit up my goddamn face." His eyes bear into mine, communicating all of their pain.

"Every fucking day, I relived that moment. Did you really have to leave like that? I had to find out that you had left, Cas, find out! I am going to level with you. I am going to forgive you one day, that much I know for sure. Right now, I can't. I will not apologize for it, so don't expect one. My heart has finally stopped bleeding, so the wounds have officially closed. As for where we go from here, I don't know."

I nod, taking it all in. He's right, though. I really did fuck up, and unfortunately, I have no excuses nor can I make any.

"All I can say is that I hope you can forgive me one day. There's really no use in apologizing, huh," I say. He shakes his head.

"Nope."

I remember the night I went home after our argument. I really wanted to go back to him place and make things right. Instead…well…

Obviously, I chose not to.

I move around the counter slowly, his eyes watching my every move. My heart breaks for the last time as I see his walls up full force. I am no longer welcome in that fortress.

"So, this is it?" I asks softly, letting the words dissolve slowly into nothingness.

"This is it," he replies, a sad smile gracing his face.

He closes the distance between us, offering me a chaste kiss. I don't fight the tears that slide silently down my cheeks…

He just kissed me like a friend. Nothing more, nothing less.

I step back, my hand cupping his cheek one last time before I turn around and head back out to my car. He doesn't even walk me out.

The light on the porch is out before I'm even in my car.

~D*C~

**Dean's POV**

I know I should have said or did something, but it would have given him hope that I'm not ready to give. For now, it's best that we sever the ties that bind so that we may move on. I've got a life that I need to rebuild for myself and for my son.

"I'll always love you, Cas, but I love you enough to let you go."

I slowly make my way upstairs, only stopping to look in on Scout. He's my world now, and that's all that matters. Seeing Cas cry did nothing, nor did I feel anything when I kissed him. We're nothing now, but that's not saying we won't be anything in the future. After all of these years, I can finally breathe a sigh of relief.

"Thank Singwer," Scout mumbles in his sleep. I chuckle lightly before heading off to bed.

"I couldn't have said it better, kid."

~D*C~

**Castiel's POV**

"Welcome back, baby!" he says, kissing me lightly. I smile lazily at him.

"How long are you going to say that?" I mumble. He shrugs.

"Hey now, in my defense, you were gone quite some time!" he admonishes lightly. We both chuckle.

"Oh Samandriel, what am I going to do with you," I whisper into the quietness of the moment.

I've been home now for about three weeks, and things are back to normal…well…as normal as can be.

Dean didn't see me off. He did, however, have my clothes from my first night over sent to the airport. It was quite embarrassing to have the clerk hand me a bag of clothes with a knowing glint in her eye. Since then, though, I haven't really heard anything from him. He and Sam both sent me friend requests on Facebook, but that's it. At least I know that I'm not dead to him.

Samandriel has since moved in with me…and proposed. I haven't accepted yet, but I'm pretty sure that I will. I…don't have any other prospects, and he's the best chance that I have at true happiness right now. Sure, I pray every day that Dean will forgive me and let me back in his life, but I'm not counting on it. Michael said as much…

"_He'll always love you, Castiel, but he loves you enough to let you go. It's time you do the same."_

I sigh, doing my best to mask my rather painful inner musings. It works. Samandriel has never been that intuitive.

"So, what are we doing today?" he asks, sitting up in bed. I do the same.

"You know what? Whatever you want to do," I offer warmly. The grin that I receive in return shows me I made the right choice of words.

It's time I live for the present and move on from the past…

Just like Dean.

**~D*C~**

**The end is nigh. Three more chapters and then the Epilogue. I hope you guys are ready. The next chapter is a big one. Review time!**


	18. Chapter Thirteen

**My December**

**A/N: **Drawing closer to the end, you guys! The final three chapters are intense, so be prepared. And as always, thanks go out to my beloved beta, nimthriel. I love you endlessly ^-^

**Setting: **This chapter takes place on Valentine's Day. The beginning takes place at Dean's place, and the end is set on the side of the highway.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

**~D*C~**

**Chapter Thirteen: **Not Today

**Castiel's POV**

"Please let everything be okay."

I pace back and forth, slowly letting fear and dread seep through to my very core. Dean has never been late for anything unless something bad happened. Even when he's mad at me (which he hasn't been in quite some time, thank you very much), he's never late. I pause in my movements, considering the alternative. It is Valentine's Day, so he could be out plotting something. Knowing Dean like I know him, it is a very strong possibility.

"Yeah, that's it. He's just out and about, setting up some sort of date for us," I whisper to myself.

Unfortunately, I can't even believe it myself.

"Cas? You're talking to yourself now?"

I jump twenty feet into the air at the sound of Sam's voice.

"Shit, Sam. You scared the hell out of me!" He just rolls his eyes.

"At least it didn't scare you to _death_," he says evenly.

Ever since he found out about my reaction to Michael choosing him, Sam has been less than pleasant to me. I really can't blame him, and Dean doesn't really say a word about it. I know he'll get over it, but I have no clue as to when. I pray that it is sooner rather than later. Sam is extremely loving when he is happy, but when he's pissed…

Hell hath no fury.

"Have you heard from Dean?" I ask. The frown that dons his face is answer enough.

"He should be here. I just talked to him not even an hour ago. He said he was heading home."

Now, I'm panicking.

"Where was he when you talked to him?" I ask frantically. I've picked up pacing again, albeit at a much faster rate.

"He just said he was on the highway. And you know Dean flies like a bat out of Hell."

I can tell that Sam is getting worried as well, his fingers continuously running through his hair.

"Maybe I should call him…" I go to say, but the ringing of my phone stops me.

I look down at the screen, hoping against all hope that it is Dean. I almost cuss when I see that it's not…

"What, Naomi?" I bark.

"Have you heard from Dean?" she asks nervously. Dread starts to build up in my chest…

"What's going on? What did you do?" I ask desperately. She sighs into the phone.

"I called his father this morning and…" I cut her off…

"You _what_? You seriously called John Winchester?!" I roar into the phone. Sam whips his head around…

"We've gotta go, Cas, now! Call Jo and see if she's heard from Dean, and I'll call Bobby. This is not good. And tell that bitch that I will have her job for this shit!" Sam commands while rushing out the door.

For the first time in a long time, I pray…

~D*C~

**Naomi's POV**

"Oh no…"

I stare down at the phone, worry etched across my face. I know I shouldn't have made that call, but curiosity got the better of me.

Dean Winchester has been a constant bur in my side. I've looked and searched and searched and looked and found absolutely nothing on him. None of the other students nor the instructors knew anything about him. I was grasping at straws for a while until I overheard a conversation between the Harvelle girl and Masters.

"_So, where is Dean's dad, Jo? He never talks about him. I can't tell that he's troubled by him, though."_

"_John is best left far, far away from here. He's been MIA for quite some time, and it needs to stay that way."_

I quickly retreated to my office and looked up John Winchester. It took several hours, but I managed to find some information on him.

At some point, he had decided to become a bounty hunter. Something happened to his wife (Dean and Sam's mother), and he went AWOL. I searched until I came upon a number for him, and decided to give him a call…

Bad idea.

From the moment that he answered the phone, I felt nothing but dread.

"_Who's this?"_

"_Mr. Winchester? This is Naomi from Dean's high school. I was hoping to speak with you about his schooling?"_

"_Did he do something? Wait, he's still going there?"_

"_Yes sir he is…"_

"_Fucking liar…"_

The line went dead shortly afterwards.

I sigh, gathering my things and heading towards my car.

"Hold on, Dean, I'm coming. Please be alright…"

~D*C~

**Bobby's POV**

"John, you fucking idjit! You better not show your fucking face! Leave those boys alone!"

"_You don't tell me what to do with my family, Singer! I can't believe you lied to me!"_

"You mean them no good, John. Dean has been through enough shit because of you! I don't get how in the hell you justify dragging your own goddamn son on fucking hunts and shit. He's survived being shot, stabbed, raped, and God knows what else! And you let it all happen!"

"_It's the least he could do!"_

I balk at the goddamn phone. How dare he say that shit?!

"You mean to tell me that you expected him to help you? John, you are one sick, twisted motherfucker."

"_Mary was murdered and none of us were there to stop it. Why wouldn't he want to help bring the son of a bitch to justice who took his mom from him…from us? We all shared the fault, Bobby!"_

The rage that courses through my veins after that shit is almost unbearable.

"They were fucking children. You can't lump them in with you because you were too chicken shit to go it alone! The murder was none of your faults, and it's high time you realized that!"

The line grows quiet. John isn't a bad person by any means. I've known him since we were both in diapers. Bad things change people, though, and not for the better. When Mary was killed, the happy, loving John that we all knew died essentially, leaving the shell of a broken man. I hate who he's become, but there's nothing that I can do to fix him. He's gonna have to fix himself.

"_I'm coming, Bobby. I need help on this one. I think I found the killer this time. He probably won't let Sam go, but I need him, at least. It's the last one, Bobby, the last one."_

I close my eyes for a second, drawing in a long breath…

He's lying.

"I'll be waiting at the line. You so much as _move _to lay a finger on that boy and I will blow you away. Goodbye John."

I hang up the phone and make my way out to my truck. I look in the back to make sure my guns are indeed inside, loaded and ready.

"Why does it have to be this way?"

~D*C~

**Meg's POV**

"You think he's gonna like it?"

I roll my eyes for the millionth time. I don't know why he refuses to accept that Castiel will in fact love his gift…

I take that back. I do know why, and it is a very well founded doubt.

The two of them have been good for a while now, but we all know just how quickly that can change. The thing that I really don't get is why the fuck Castiel does what he does. Dean is head over fucking heels in love with him, even with all of his walls and issues and whatnot. Castiel, though, continuously tests his patience and resolve. We may be a lot alike, but I wouldn't ever do that to Jo. The only way I'd hurt her is if it is for the absolute best. I'd rather die than do that shit to her.

"He will, Dean. I promise," I say reassuringly. He smirks over at me.

He had come and got me earlier this morning, dragging me along to go shopping for a Valentine's gift for Castiel.

"He better," he says offhandedly. I just smile.

As of late, Dean and I have gotten much closer. I can see his reasoning for everything, and I feel that Castiel is one lucky son of a bitch to have gotten him. I do see where he could stand to let someone in sometime, but then Dean wouldn't be quite so…Dean.

I go to reassure him about his gift when I notice something in the rearview mirror…

"Is this truck following us, Dean?" I ask curiously. He looks up.

"I'm not sure. Let's find out," he says cautiously before slowing down.

He drops his speed until he comes up to a turn off on the left. Without any warning, he makes the turn. My eyes widen as I notice the truck behind us do the same.

"Dean, it _is _following us!" I whisper frantically. He cuts his eyes.

"It can't be. It just can't be…" I hear him say quietly…desperately.

My heart begins to pound as he pulls over, closing his eyes slowly before sighing and getting out.

I also step out, standing firmly beside the Impala as Dean moves swiftly towards the now parked truck behind us.

"Get out, you son of a bitch!" Dean roars. The sound of his voice frightens me to the core.

"That is no way to speak to your father, boy!"

The sight of John Winchester is a frightening one. He's tall and rugged, life having aged and scarred him thoroughly. He's the type of guy you would not want to run into anywhere at any time of the day.

"Why are you back?! I told you last time that I wasn't going to help you with shit!" Dean spits, standing directly in his face.

"You're coming with me. Sam can stay, but I need you on this one." Dean scoffs.

"Like hell. I'm done, John, done. I left that life a long time ago, and it's high time that you do the same."

"I'm doing this to make things right, Dean! Unlike you and your brother, I actually plan on doing something about…" Dean shoves him back, cutting off whatever he was going to say.

"You're hiding behind Mom's murder like a fucking coward. She's dead, John, dead. No matter what you do or what you say, Mom is gone for good. You're insulting her memory!"

I rush to Dean's side when his father backhands him.

"Stop!" I scream as I stand between the two of them. Dean puts his hand on my shoulder…

"Don't, Meg," he says lowly. I notice John smirk…

"Oh, is this little bitch your girlfriend? She can come too. Better yet, how about I take her with me since you won't go?" I hiss as his large hand closes around my arm, jerking me backwards.

"Let me go," I ground out as I reach up and slap him.

He doesn't even flinch.

"She's feisty," he snarls at Dean.

I look back at Dean, all of the color draining from my face as I notice the calmness with which he stands. There is absolutely no emotion on his face, and that scares the utter shit out of me. Dean is gone, but something much darker and more sinister has taken his place.

"You want feisty, Dad? Hm?" he asks calmly. I hear John curse under his breath.

He's seen what I see.

"Dean…" he says cautiously. His reply is one of the darkest chuckles I've ever heard.

"No need to worry, Pops! I'll give you exactly what you want."

The grasp on my arm is gone, and in a matter of seconds, the man that held me is on the ground. I move out of the way as Dean pounces on him. After what seems like forever, John manages to kick Dean off of him. I flinch as Dean's back hits the truck, but he doesn't go down.

John gets up, barely managing to duck a sharp right hook. He lifts Dean off of the ground and slams him on the hood of the truck. I instantly run and jump on John's back, clawing and punching on him as best I can.

"Leave him alone!" I scream.

He manages to pull me off of him and fling me to the ground hard. I roll over on my side before making my way slowly to my feet. I look up in time to see Dean tackle him to the ground again. He goes berserk, beating the utter shit out of John for all that he's worth. I make my way over, kicking him as well. When we think he's lost consciousness, we stop.

"Let's go," Dean manages after catching his breath.

We stumble back into the Impala, sitting there for a moment. Dean is just about to start the car when we hear a deep rumble. I almost want to laugh…

"He just doesn't quit, does he?" I ask defeatedly. Dean shakes his head solemnly.

"No. Get out of here, Meg. Go for hel…" He's cut off as John rams the Impala for the first time.

I cry out as I hit the side of the door, pain shooting up and down my arm. I just know it's broken.

"Fuck!" we cry out in unison.

I finally open my eyes and take a look at Dean. My eyes widen as I see the gash on his forehead as well as the way he's clutching his side.

"Dean, are you…" I go to say, but am cut off by us being hit again. I black out for a bit when my head hits the door jam.

"Fuckity fuck!" we both ground out.

I notice Dean contort his face in serious pain before a lone tear trails down his cheek. I follow the movement before looking at the rest of his body…

"Holy shit…dear God! Dean!" I gasp as I see the blood soaking his shirt.

With that last hit, the door had dented in, digging into the soft flesh of his side. He also has a deep gash to his forehead, and his arm is bent awkwardly.

"Fucking seatbelts," we both whisper. They are designed to save your life…unless you're getting rammed by John Winchester.

I unhook my seatbelt and step outside. I see John gearing up for another hit, so I make my way around to stand in his way.

"Stop, please!" I yell. I know it's probably futile, but I have to try…for Dean's sake.

"Move, stupid girl!" John roars from the truck. I don't budge.

"Meg," I hear from somewhere beside me. Dean somehow managed to make his way out and around the car, leaning on what's left of his baby…

"Dean, go," I plead, tears threatening to fall at any moment. He just smirks at me…

"No way," he says.

We smile and laugh at one another as we hear the tires peeling out as John comes at us again. We only have a moment before the world fades to black and all that I hear is the sound of metal against metal.

**~D*C~**

**I hate to leave this in a cliffhanger, but I am lol I hope you guys will forgive me! The next chapter wraps up this incident and then time jumps to right before the big blowout. Read and review, please!**


	19. Chapter Fourteen

**My December**

**A/N: **One more chapter after this. There's a lot of drama to sort through in this one. I hope you guys like it…

**Setting: **This chapter is set two days after the last. About halfway through, it time jumps to right after graduation. It starts out at the school and ends at the diner.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

**~D*C~**

**Chapter Fourteen: **Dirty Little Secret

**Sam's POV**

"_Dean…Dean!"_

_I am out of Cas' car before it even stops moving, rushing to my brother's side. There is so much blood, and it's all coming from him. I move to place my hand over a wound to try and stop it, but realize that it's absolutely useless. There are too many to help in any way…_

"_Dear God help me…" I whisper through my tears. I gently ghost my knuckles down the side of his face._

"_Sam?" I hear from somewhere beside me._

_I whip my head around to see what's left of Meg. The lower half of her body is pinned under part of the wreckage from the Impala._

"_Holy shit, Meg! Goddammit!" I gasp helplessly. I'm so lost at where to start or what to do…_

_I chance a glance back at Cas, only to be greeted with an expressionless ghost of what he once was. I can tell that he's trying to process everything, but I can imagine it's pretty much damn near impossible for him._

"_Cas…" I go to say, but the sound of tires draws my attention. I turn around to see two vehicles approaching…_

"_Bobby and…Naomi…" I hear Cas whisper harshly. I jump up quickly, wanting nothing more than to tear her ass in two._

_Bobby does just as I did, jumping out before the truck has truly stopped. He's almost to us, but stops to look over at the wreckage of Dad's truck. Dad is still inside, laying against the steering wheel unconscious. I have absolutely no inclination to help him. I honestly hope he…_

"_Don't think that," Cas whispers soothingly to me while rubbing circles in my back. How he knew what I was thinking is beyond me, but I'm glad he did._

"_I am so sorry…" Naomi starts, but I cut her off._

"_Don't you dare say a word, you hear me? Don't because right now, I want to rip you limb from fucking limb." I state harshly. Bobby grabs my arm…_

"_Let it be for now. First things first, let's help the girl. Naomi, you call 911 and then watch over Dean."_

_I offer her one last glare before following Bobby towards a barely conscious Meg…_

~D*C~

**Michael's POV**

"Castiel. Castiel. _Castiel_!"

I sigh. My brother dearest is on a nut roll that won't stop any time soon.

"I can't do this, Michael, I just…can't." he says suddenly. I frown to myself.

We have never been through anything like this, so I can honestly understand his distress. Unfortunately, I'm afraid of exactly how he's going to react to it. When I talked to Sam earlier, he said he all but shut down. If Dean were to wake up without him there…

"Castiel, just calm down. Dean needs you more than ever right about now. Not only is he going to have to recover from his rather extensive injuries, but he's also got to decide what to do with his father. He needs you," I stress to him.

I pray that it sinks in.

I sigh when he doesn't say or do anything.

"Look, I have a meeting that I must attend. Please, consider my words," I plead with him.

He nods at me.

As I step out into the hallway, I can't help but feel that this night is going to take a turn for the worse.

~D*C~

"Michael?"

I smile sinisterly at her. The other personnel in the area all vacate the vicinity quickly at the dark tone to my voice. The confused look on her face morphs into one of fear as I step ever closer to her. I stop directly in front of her, staring down at her…

"Why are you…" she begins, but I cut her off.

"You know why I'm here. You are the sole reason that there are two people fighting for their lives right now. Are you really that surprised to see me?" I ask bluntly. She averts her gaze…

"I didn't mean for anyone to get hurt. You have to understand my position, though. I…" Once again, I cut her off.

"Need I remind you that your position is to educate and guide students in the correct academic direction? Your position does not entail you continuously analyzing his file and persistently digging for information regarding both him and his family. It also does not entail you seeking him out after school hours and fraternizing with him and his peers." She looks taken aback for a moment…

"What do you mean?" she inquires cautiously. I chuckle darkly.

"Have a look at these, my dearest Naomi. You see, when my partner and I first communicated with you regarding my brother and this program, I decided to have you monitored. In the Novak family, we believe in protecting our investments. That being said, I was shocked to know that you not only went to both the Winchester home as well as the Harvelle home, I was shocked to hear that you also participated in a sexual encounter with him." All of the color drains from her face at this…

Good.

"After that, you have sense harassed him continuously over the course of the last few weeks of school. All occurrences have been rather unfounded. Do you have anything you feel you need to say?"

The room is silent for quite some time. I simply lean back against the wall, staring at her blankly. I smirk when I hear the sound of several approaching footsteps…

"I'd try and come up with some form of defense if I were you, Naomi?" chimes a young feminine voice. Naomi frowns…

"Jessica?" she asks curiously. She smiles smugly in reply.

"Yes. Everything that you have done, I've seen. You've really crossed the line this time, sweetheart." Naomi just looks on with tears in her eyes. She knows what's about to happen.

"This is it, huh? This is the end," she whispers sadly. We just look at her uninterestedly.

The principal decides to speak up finally.

"The only thing that I have to say is good riddance. To be honest, we've wanted nothing more than to let you go for quite some time. Sadly, we've never had the right reason until now. You've only used these students for your own personal gain, and that is unacceptable. As of this moment, you are released from your duties as counselor. And trust me, I will make sure that you will never work in _any _school system again."

Without so much as a second glance, everyone leaves the room with the exception of myself and Jessica. Naomi doesn't say a word as she starts to pack up her belongings. She doesn't even try to hide the fact that she's crying…

"We'll probably be talking again soon, my dear," I say as I turn to Jessica and signal our departure. Naomi stops in her tracks…

"Why?" she asks quietly…fearfully…

"If you think this was bad, just wait until Sam is done with you. He's already retained counsel, which I urge you to do as well," I say nonchalantly as we leave her to her own devices.

"Do you think she'll do it? Seek counsel, I mean," Jessica asks curiously. I just laugh.

"I doubt it. If she even makes it through the night I'll be surprised," I offer, shrugging.

Jessica looks at me, but I do not elaborate.

The less she knows the better…

~D*C~

**Castiel's POV**

"Hey, Sam," I say softly. He looks up from the magazine he's attempting to read.

"Oh, Cas. I didn't expect to see you," he states bluntly. I can understand his reaction completely, though.

"I'm sorry, Sam. For everything. I miss our friendship dearly. Charlie isn't even talking to me right now," I say pleadingly. He just stares at me for a bit.

"Come on, Sam, I'm begging here! I can't lose you, just like I can't lose Dean," I say honestly. He seems to soften a little.

"I can't say that I forgive you, Cas, because honestly, my head is not in the game right now. Meg is awake and talking, but Dean hasn't budged. I'm trying not to worry, but it's hard."

"I know. That's why I'm here. I'm about to go check on him. Did you want to come?" I ask. He shakes his head.

"I can't stand to see him like this anymore. Have at it."

I nod understandingly before heading down the hall to Dean's room. On the way, I notice Jo standing outside of Meg's room.

"Hey," I say quietly. She looks up, smiling sadly.

"Hey, Cas. You actually came," she says. I frown, everyone's doubt in me becoming a little unsettling…

"Yeah. How's Meg?" I ask. She smiles softly.

"She's good, actually. The doctors don't think she'll walk again, though, but she's trying to remain positive. It's gonna be very stressful with all of the therapy and stuff, but we're gonna make it. We have each other, so that's all that matters."

I hang my head in shame at the love in her voice.

"Stop being mushy, Josephine! And Castiel, get your pert little ass in here!" We both laugh at Meg's commands.

"I told you she's good. I'm going to check on Sam," Jo says as she walks off.

I watch her a little while before heading inside to see Meg.

"About damn time," she mumbles quietly before staring at me.

I can see the emotions swirling around in those deep blue depths. She's hurt, angry, sad, but most of all, she's tired but loved. Acknowledging the love that she and Jo share for one another creates a longing deep within my own heart. I wish so badly that Dean and I could be like that. Unfortunately, I'm the disgracing factor at the moment…

"Stop looking like that. All you need to do is stop being such a dumb little shit and go for it. Don't let fear ruin your happiness, Castiel. I didn't."

I smile softly at her, pushing a few stray hairs from her face. She smiles warmly in return.

"I will never walk again, Castiel. They won't say those exact words, but I can feel it. Jo's not going anywhere, though, so with that in mind, I can make it. The first time I see that it's hurting her, though, I'm going to…make things right. You should be Dean's Jo right now. I can see the desire to flee written all over your face, but please, don't," she pleads.

And Meg doesn't plead.

"I won't, Meg. I promise," I whisper softly. She nods, but still looks wary.

I get up, squeezing her hand gently before heading towards Dean's room.

"Oh Dean," I whisper into the silence of the room.

He's still hooked up to all sorts of machines, which makes my heart clench tightly in my chest. I walk numbly to his bedside, lightly stroking his cheek as I settle down beside him.

Seeing him like this divides my heart in two.

On one hand, I want nothing more than for him to wake up and be alright and love me just like he did before. I have missed him terribly these last two days, and the guilt over how I've been treating him has been eating at me relentlessly. I just want the chance to make this right.

On the other hand, I want to run far, far away and never look back. I do love him, but I don't think I'm ready for all of this. There is a lot of baggage that comes with being with Dean Winchester, and I'm not used to that. He's broken and damaged and in need of some serious repair, and I'm afraid that I am not the one to do all of that. I've never had to do that before, so why should I start now?

My inner reverie is cut short at the sound of quiet moaning beside me.

I jump up, stumbling backwards as he begins to stir more and more…

"C-Cas?" I hear him mumble. I don't even try to stop myself from running out the door.

As soon as I'm free of the doorway, I press myself firmly against the wall and begin to hyperventilate. I barely manage to calm myself down as the room grows quiet again. I am just beginning to relax when I hear it.

A loud gasp echoes out into the hall as the machines all begin to go crazy. I hear him swallowing deep gulps of air, and I can imagine him looking around wildly. The voice in the back of my mind is screaming at me to run in there and console him, be there for him…

Love him.

Instead, I just stay put, listening like the coward that I am.

Soon enough, I hear his breathing return to normal as he comes back to his senses. It starts out as a whisper, but soon, he's full on calling my name. I know that I should go inside, but I just can't. I keep thinking that maybe it's better this way. He'll find someone else who can really offer him the love and devotion that he deserves…

I continue to tell myself that until I hear the most heart-wrenching sob that I've ever heard…that I'll probably ever hear.

"No, no, no, no…not Cas…not my Cas…" he rasps before erupting into a series of uncontrollable cries.

I push from the wall and begin to walk down the hall until I hear Meg screaming my name. I stop, knowing that she won't stop. Dean's cries begin to quiet the louder she yells. I know that she's forcing my hand, but it has to be done. Otherwise…

I turn around and rush back down the hall and around into Dean's room. His eyes widen as he sees me…

"Dean?" I ask breathlessly.

"You didn't leave me?" he asks wondrously. The weight of my guilt is unbearable, but I keep myself together.

For him.

"I just went to the bathroom," I say as I walk over to him and wrap him in my arms. He begins to cry again as he buries his face in my chest.

"You didn't leave me," he says into my tear-soaked shirt, clinging to me with all the energy he can muster.

I just sit there, running my fingers through his hair, praying that he won't realize that I'm lying to him…

"I love you, Cas," he says whole-heartedly.

"I know," is all that I can say.

~D*C~

**Dean's POV**

_Three months later…_

"Looks like we did it, Cas! We fucking graduated!"

Said boyfriend simply laughs beside me, shaking his head lightly.

We make our way slowly through the crowd, my crutches slowing me down tremendously.

It's been a long road since the accident.

Dad has gone to rehab. I honestly wanted to see his ass rot in prison for the rest of his miserable life, but Sammy said to do the right thing, so I did so begrudgingly. He's going to be there for quite some time, so we won't have to hear from or see him until his psych says so.

Meg and Jo are doing pretty well. There are times where they are about to rip each other limb from limb, but that's just them. Meg is handling the whole wheelchair situation amazingly well, even using it as a weapon whenever people piss her off. I've been on the receiving end a few times.

I just found out that Michael is taking Sam to New York with him for the summer, which pisses me off, but it is what it is. If it'll help Sammy's future, then I'm okay with it. Unfortunately, I know that this is just the beginning of the end of his time here. I'm not too keen on it, but whatever. I want him happy.

Naomi ended up killing herself when everything was said and done. Sam went after her for everything that he could, and it pushed her to the breaking point. She drank too much and went on a night drive and ended up in the lake. It was an accident, that I am sure, but the poetic justice of it all brings a smile to my face.

I carefully slide into Cas' shiny little car, setting my equipment into the back. Recovery has been a bitch, but I've been making it. Cas…well…he makes it sometimes, but he's growing increasingly distant. I plan on changing that tonight, though.

The ride to the diner is quiet, which is normal for us. There hasn't exactly been anything we'd love to talk about lately, you know.

I smile as we pull up, happy to see that my request has been met with success. Cas gasps softly beside me.

"Stop gawking and get out already!" I bellow playfully before grabbing my shit and hobbling towards the entrance. He clumsily follows behind.

The diner is completely empty, but decorated in the usual congratulatory affair. The only thing is that it's all for him…

"Dean, you really shouldn't have…" he begins, but I laugh him off.

"I'm so proud of you, and I love you so much. This is just part of the surprise, though," I say with a wink.

He watches me as I reach into my back pocket, pulling out an envelope. I beam as I hand it to him.

He takes his time opening it, reading each word to himself quietly. He doesn't say anything for a while when he finishes, but I know he's turning everything over in his head. I look at him with a smile on my face.

"Well?" I ask quietly.

"You're serious?" he asks softly. I nod.

I had applied to a school in New York and gotten accepted. He was going to law school in Manhattan, so I decided to follow him. I love him so much…

"I know we haven't talked about it, but I want to be with you. I did this for us, Cas. And…I want to give you all of me. I want to tell you everything about me. I know I'm kinda dark and twisted and shit, but I plan on changing that…changing me. I love you with everything in me, and I intend to make you as happy as I possibly can, Cas."

He looks at me blankly for a bit before tears begin streaming down his cheeks. A bad feeling starts to blossom deep inside my chest at the sight…

"Cas…" I call out softly. He shakes his head and backs away.

"I can't Dean. All of this…I just can't. I've been thinking about it, and…it's too much. I'm sorry," he says, stumbling over his own feet towards the door. My hand clutches desperately at my chest as my heart begins to crumble…

"You're killing me, Cas."

He doesn't say anything else as he just runs out the door and out of my life…

My December finally came, huh…

**~D*C~**

**I really don't know what to say. Cas is an asshole of the greatest kind. I hope this pretty much explains everything, though. The next chapter is the aftermath of all this madness. Review, please.**


	20. Chapter Fifteen

**My December**

**A/N: **Here it is. This is the last chapter.

**Setting: **This one is set hours after the last. It begins in the diner and ends at the Novak household.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

**~D*C~**

**Chapter Fifteen: **Fading

**Lisa's POV**

"_He left."_

"_What do you mean 'he left'?!"_

"_He did. He just…left."_

"_I'm on my way."_

Meg was right to be distressed. Cas is gone, and Dean is in pieces.

We've been sitting here for at least three hours, Dean and I, but I don't have the heart to move him. When I first walked in, he was just standing there, staring off into space. Everything around him was just as we had left it earlier, nothing disturbed in the least. Dean had fallen to the floor as soon as I reached out to touch him. I've been holding him ever since.

"Are…you okay?" I ask cautiously. He shakes his head.

"He didn't even look back. If he'd have at least looked back, I'd have known that he cared at least a little bit. He doesn't care. He's gone…so gone…" he says tiredly.

I think we all knew it was going to happen, but we hoped against all hope that it wouldn't. Cas wasn't ready for any of this, but he should have told Dean. Dean was always a hundred percent honest with him, so he should have been the same in return. I just don't get it. But it's true what they say. The smallest things create the largest messes.

"Maybe he'll come to his senses tonight and seek you out in the morning," I try, but even I don't believe it. Cas is gone and never coming back.

"Bullshit. I shouldn't have trusted him, Lisa. I shouldn't have let him in." My heart breaks at his words.

"Dean. Don't be like that," I try, but the look he levels at me shuts me up.

"Never again, Lisa, never again. Take me home, please. I just…take me home."

I wordlessly help him up and to the car. He doesn't say anything as he slides inside, the silence speaking volumes. I don't expect him to say anything as we back out, nor do I expect anything on the road. After all that he's been through tonight, I know that he's done. The cold, distant Dean that Jo and Meg have told me about is now here to stay.

I want nothing more than to kill Cas right now.

~D*C~

**Sam's POV**

"So, let me get this straight. Your mother was murdered, so your father became a bounty hunter and took Dean along for the ride. Not only did he drag Dean through God knows what, but he sent him out alone to go on 'missions' for him? Incredible."

I just shrug, resting my head back again the headrest.

Our flight had just landed in Manhattan, so now we're in the car driving across town. Dean had flipped out at first when Mike had told him he was taking me for the summer. It was not good at first, but then he had calmed down and said okay.

"_I won't make you promise me you'll come back, Sam, because I know that it's only going to be temporary. You'll be gone right after graduation. At least I'll have Cas, though!"_

I smile at the memory. I'm just glad he won't be alo…

I jump when I hear my phone ring. I look down, and frown at the number displayed…

"Lisa?" I ask curiously. Why would she be calling me?

"_Have you talked to Dean?"_ she asks quietly. I can tell she's hiding, but from who?

"No, not yet. We're almost to Michael's place, though. What's going on?" I get a sinking feeling in my gut…

"_It's Dean. He's completely shut down, Sam. I don't know what to do…" _she whispers frantically. I decide to ask the obvious question here…

"Where's Cas?" I ask slowly. My heart stops as she sighs.

"_He's gone. He just…left."_

I curse to myself, rage coursing through my veins. I want to fucking punch something right now. I pinch the bridge of my nose in the futile attempt to stop the oncoming headache…

"Fuck! Let me call you back. Will you stay the night with him for me?" I ask. I know it's a lot to ask, but…

"_I'm already ahead of you. Just…call him in the morning," _she pleads gently. I nod, even though I know she can't see me.

"Will do. Night, Lisa."

"_Night."_

I sit there for a moment, gathering my nerves before addressing Michael. The good thing about him is that he is extremely patient. I know he wants to ask what's wrong, but he won't until he knows I'm ready.

I sigh.

"What's going on, Sam?" he asks quietly. Told you…

"Cas," is all I say. He closes his eyes for a moment before sighing like I did earlier.

"When?" he asks softly. I can tell that he's just a pissed as I am, if not more.

"A few hours ago, I figure. Lisa had to go get Dean from the diner," I relate absently. He growls deep in his chest.

"I'm calling Gabe," he says firmly before picking up the phone. I reach out and stop him…

"Let it wait until the morning," I say quietly. He looks at me for a minute before nodding and dropping his phone.

"Only for you, Sam, only for you."

I thank him and turn to look back out the window.

"Tomorrow's gonna be a long day…"

~D*C~

**Castiel's POV**

"Castiel!"

I ignore him as I proceed to my room and begin packing my bags. Tears are streaming down my face as I continue to strip my room of most of my belongings, but I refuse to acknowledge them. I've already called my contact in Manhattan, so it's just a matter of me jumping on a plane and going. I know I'll have to face Michael and Sam at some point, but I'll stall as long as I can. I just…I can't be here.

I go to open my desk drawer when a sticky note falls out. I pick it up…and almost cry out…

It's one of Dean's random messages to me that he would leave around my house.

"Don't forget that I love you," I read out loud. I toss it aside before returning to the task at hand.

After the accident, things just weren't the same for Dean and I. I honestly thought that I could handle everything that he was, but I realized that I couldn't. And every time that he said 'I love you,' I found it harder and harder to say it back. It's not that I didn't love him, it's just…

"Ugh!" I yell, running my fingers through my hair.

I couldn't let him do all of those wonderful things for me when I'd only hurt him. After the whole Sam argument, I started to think. I began to doubt my place at Dean's side. The accident simply sealed the deal.

Once everything in packed, I step out into the hallway. I check my phone to make sure my flight is confirmed…

"You're really going to do this."

I turn around slowly to face my rather disappointed father. I do not meet his gaze.

"Yes. I'd only hurt him in the end. It's better this way, just trust me on that," I say. He laughs bitterly.

"I warned you about this in the beginning, yet you didn't take any heed of my words." I reach down and grab my bags, heading towards the stairs…

"I'm done with this conversation, Father. I love you, and I will keep in contact. Samandriel is waiting for me in Manhattan, so I should get going."

"Your mother would be extremely disappointed right now," he says distantly from behind me. I whirl around to glare at him.

"Would be, but she's not here to be, now is she? She's twenty miles away and six feet under right about now, so her 'disappointment' is neither here nor there. Besides, I'm only doing what she did to you. We were too much for her to handle, so she left. Sadly, that other vehicle had other plans. Good thing I'm flying, huh," I say in a fit of rage. As soon as the words are out of my mouth, though, I regret them.

My father doesn't say anything for a while, just stands there looking at me.

That was probably the lowest blow that anyone could have ever dealt right there. Father was head over heels in love with Mother, and she was the same with him until we showed up in the picture. He was her first in everything, and she thought that she was happy. Turns out, she wasn't.

One day, she just grew tired and decided to leave. It was raining, and the roads were very slick. There was a head on collision…

She died instantly.

When Father got home, he had found the letter that she had left him. He was devastated. For me to say what I said to him…

"Look, I'm…"

"Don't. Go, but you might want to think twice before being so quick to return," he says sternly before turning around and walking to his office.

Great…just great. Now I've pissed off my own father.

I sigh as I descend the stairs. I make quick work of loading up my car before backing out and heading towards the airport. Samandriel is one of the academic advisors. I told him that I was coming earlier than expected, and he offered me a room in his apartment. I couldn't turn him down.

I press the gas a little harder, leaving this place and never once looking back.

All things must come to an end eventually…

~D*C~

**Dean's POV**

"Dean, answer your phone!"

"Fuck off, Lisa."

"Answer the goddamn phone, Dean Winchester!"

"Bitch."

I tiredly scrub my palm down my face before reaching over and grabbing the offending piece of technology. A quick glance at the clock tells me it's ten in the morning.

"Hello," I ground out. After everything that's happened, fuck pleasantries.

"Get up, and get dressed. We're going to brunch." I frown at the phone.

"Gabriel?" I ask curiously. His resounding snort is my reply.

"Duh, Dirty Blondie. Be ready in twenty!" he pipes into the phone before hanging up unexpectedly. I just roll my eyes.

Grouching to myself, I get up and go about getting ready.

If you were to ask me about my morning, I couldn't tell you a thing about it. I'm like a fucking robot, so everything is done out of habit and instinct. Lisa and I have a quick and quiet snack before Gabriel arrives. We say our goodbyes as I jump in the car with Novak…

"Where are we going?" I ask. He smirks at me.

"Mi casa! I've cooked, and you're eating." I don't argue.

The ride is quick, which works out for me. I know that eventually we're going to have to talk about last night, but I'm not going to rush the subject in any way.

As we walk in, Gabe's dad greets us at the front door. I smile wryly at him.

"Morning, Mr. Novak." He pats my shoulder.

"Morning, son. You're always welcome here, Dean. You'll always be a welcome part of my family." The warmth and honesty with which he speaks comforts me in ways I can't explain.

"Thank you, sir. That means the world to me right now," I say honestly. He nods knowingly.

"Trust me, Dean, I share in your pain. Have a good day," he says quietly before heading towards his office.

Gabe and I end up sitting outside on the veranda. It's a beautiful day outside. I just wish that my mood could be the same.

"He's gone." I smirk at the statement.

"I kinda figured." He sighs.

"I'm not going to apologize for his fuck up, so don't worry your little head about that. We all disagree with his methods, but we all agree that he'll have to answer for it in due time. What I want you to do, though, is focus on you and become a better person. You deserve to be happy, with or without dumbass," he says, and I can't help but laugh.

He's right, though.

I don't understand things right now, but I will in time. Things are going to get much worse once I do let it all sink in. Right now, though, I just want to eat and try and relax.

"I'm going to take you up on that eventually. Right now, though, I just want to eat."

He smiles victoriously at me before digging in. I shake my head before doing the same.

I know that come tomorrow, I'm going to be an utter fucking wreck. For right now, I'm not going to worry about that.

It is what it is.

**~D*C~**

**Alrighty. This is it. The Epilogue is coming next. I really hope that everything has come to light and that you're all pretty satisfied. Review and let me know, lovelies!**


	21. Epilogue

**My December**

**A/N: **Here is the Epilogue. I have enjoyed writing this story, and I hope you have all enjoyed reading it. It's not the fairytale ending that you all probably hoped for, but I think you'll all be satisfied.

**Setting: **This is set about five years after Lisa's wedding.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

**~D*C~**

**Epilogue: **Go

**Scout's POV**

"Daddy?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"Shit."

I try to scurry off, but it's to no avail. He always catches onto my overcoat. I really need to invest in another one, but I love my overcoat so much! It's a catch twenty-two…

"Really, Scout?"

I bury my face in the warm folds of fabric, avoiding looking at him. Daddy is a scary, scary man, and I don't like seeing him mad at me.

"It just broke on its own, though! I went to pick it up, and it just went 'boom' and 'poof'! It's a conspiracy, Daddy, I promise!"

That was good, wasn't it? Wasn't it…

Sigh.

He doesn't look amused.

"Scout, shit doesn't just go 'boom' or 'poof' or whatever the hell kind of sound you want to make. I told you to be careful with this shit. I swear, you're as hard-headed as Sam some days…"

I wait patiently as he digs himself deeper into his own thoughts. When I see that he's pretty much settled, I flee the room.

"Success!"

I weave my way through boxes and boxes of our stuff, heading out to the backyard. Daddy got a phone call one day, and the next thing I know, we were moving! I'm pretty happy, though. I live on the beach now!

When Daddy's friend left, Daddy was pretty happy. I thought it was kind of odd, but I didn't question it. Singer said that grown-ups do funny things sometimes, so that's what I chocked it up to. I thought they were in love, but I guess not? I don't know. It doesn't matter now, though.

"Scout! You smart little shit! When I find you, I'm going to child abuse you!"

"Shoot."

I quietly make my way back inside. I know he's going to go look for me out back. He'll wander through the yard and stuff before coming back in and heading to my room. He'll be pretty tired, so he'll stop caring and go about his business.

I am a very smart little boy!

I snicker as I hear the back door open and close.

"Later, alligator," I whisper from the hallway.

"Afterwhile, crocodile?" I jump out of my skin at the sound of his voice…

"Shit!"

"Oh, Scout. Shit is right. I'm about to beat you within two inches of your life. Say your prayers, kid..."

I hang my head. Oh well…

You win some, you lose some…

~D*C~

**Dean's POV**

"How's the California air for ya, son?"

"It's…California air."

I sigh. Even though we've come a long way, it's still hard to talk to him about anything without getting defensive. Hell, he put me in the fucking hospital for God's sake!

"Look, Jo…Dad, I'm sorry," I mutter softly. He laughs quietly into the phone.

"No need to apologize, Dean. I'm still surprised that you even talk to me after all that I put you through," he says openly. We share a laugh.

"It's fine, Dad. I mean it," I whisper honestly.

A lot has changed in the last five years, and surprisingly, it has all been good.

Dad finally completed rehab and counseling. Sam and I had to go to his last few sessions, which was interesting to say the least. We were finally able hash out all of the shit that he put us through, though. He never got over Mom's murder, deciding to wreak havoc on any and everyone who he felt deserved to be punished for whatever reason. He never said whether or not he found the person who did it, but I feel that he did. I think that's one of the reasons that he finally decided to tie things up.

"How's Lawrence?" I ask nonchalantly.

"A daily struggle to survive," he grumbles. I really should feel sorry for him, but I don't.

It sucks facing those you fucked off.

We chat about random things for a while before I decide to end the call and get to unpacking. I pass Scout's room…and the silence is deafening. He's wallowing in defeat right now, so he won't be saying shit for the next two or three days. I've really got to start watching that kid more often. He's getting too fucking smart…

"Just wait til I tell Jess," I mumble to myself.

Said mother officially met her son about three years ago. He was just as we expected him to be: relieved that she was pretty.

"_I'm so gwad you are pwetty! I was scared!"_

She had finally opened her own practice, so she didn't have to worry about the presence of her boss any longer. He was kinda pissed about being borne of anger, but he was still happy to finally know his mom.

"_I will now fit you into my schedwule!"_

All we could do was shake our damn heads. She and Charlie have been active parts of his life ever since. Beforehand, Jess had basically done things from the shadows. She always made sure he was well taken care of, sending money and sneaking over to watch him sleep or what have you. It definitely helps to have her openly interacting with him now. Daddy can finally catch a breather.

When I round the corner and see all of the boxes that I still have to unpack…I rethink that last statement…

"Not just yet, Daddyo, not just yet…"

~D*C~

"Dean!"

"What."

"Whatever!"

I smirk at my brother as he scowls at me.

"I love the sand much more now!" I pipe happily. Sadly, Sammy doesn't share my sentiments…

He glares and flips me off.

"Bitch."

"Asshat."

"Why don't you two quite being childish and vulgar. There are children around," Michael chides lightly. We both look down shamefully.

"Sorry," we say in unison. He hums in approval.

Sam and Mike have officially become a solid item, even becoming engaged just last month. I am truly happy for the two of them. I know that I put Sam through a lot of emotional torment growing up, although that is exactly what I tried to prevent. Jess once told me that in trying to protect him, I hurt him all the same. However, she said it was a different kind of hurt, one that actually helped mold him into the man that we all know and love today.

A pleasant lie, that.

Michael is the best thing for him, in my honest opinion. He's a lot like me, just without all of the fucked up baggage and shit. He's a solid testament to a good raising and ceaseless willpower. He so in love with Sammy, so I know he'll never hurt him and vice versa. The way that they look at one another makes my heart both swell and clench. It's a most fucked up feeling. With all of the wonderful bright and shininess that my life has become, that's the one thing that I want most...

To love again.

I've since dated a few guys here and there, but nothing too serious. If I see that it's not going to go anywhere, I just keep it light and playful. I haven't fucked anyone, though, nor have I allowed any of them near Scout. He'd chew 'em up and spit 'em out.

"Daddy, look! I built a dungeon! Now, I will seek crabs to lock away! Pinch someone, they will not!"

"That's my boy!"

I laugh heartily at my son's antics. He's a happy little fucker, but he has such a dark and twisted mindset. Oh well, just as long as he's happy, I guess.

"Hey, Dean?" I look up curiously.

"Yeah, Sammy?"

"We still watching the kiddo tonight?" he asks. It takes me a moment before I remember what he's asking about.

"Oh yeah! If you guys don't mind. I'd really, really appreciate it." Michael smiles gently.

"Of course, Dean. You should've already known the answer, though," he chides lightly.

"I know, but still. You know how I am about things like that," I offer nonchalantly. They both nod.

"I guess it's too late to hope that you'd grow out of it," Sam mumbles sarcastically. He gets yet another face full of sand.

Mike and I laugh before turning back to watch Scout as he runs across the beach, tormenting the shit outta some crabs.

"Hey, have you heard from Jo?" Sam asks suddenly. I shake my head as I chuckle lightly.

"She's…Jo," I reply cryptically.

Mike and I share a look. Sam huffs and goes to play with Scout as we erupt into laughter yet again. We have quite the relationship, he and I. We understand each other, which is something that I haven't had in a very long time. I couldn't imagine my life without him. We may live on opposite coasts, but we keep in touch.

"The two of them really seem to have become quite the dynamic duo, huh," he says quietly. I smile solemnly.

"They really have. She'd be so proud," I whisper.

Even though she survived the accident, Meg truly never recovered from being paralyzed. We all figured after the fact that she ultimately did it for Jo.

"I miss her," I offer softly. Michael nods.

About two years ago, Jo came home to find Meg gone. We all knew she couldn't have gone far. She was in a wheelchair, after all.

We searched and searched until Jo grew suddenly quiet.

"_I know where she's at."_

We made our way back to the Roadhouse. And sure enough, there she was. She was sitting in the exact spot where they shared their first kiss.

"_Oh Meg…"_

The sheer pain that shredded her voice made my heart stop beating. She had managed to dress herself in the same outfit and everything, truly immersing herself in the moment. She had taken a handful of meds and mixed them with champagne, the same kind her and Jo had gotten drunk off of. It was both beautiful and heart-wrenching. Jo was never mad at her, though. She knew exactly why she had done it.

"_We had begun arguing about everything. It was so stressful on us…on me. She didn't want that for us anymore…she loved me too much…"_

After the funeral, Jo was in a bad place. She too ended up going to see Jess for help, which helped immensely. Jess is definitely blessed.

Anywho, at some point, her and Gabriel ended up coming across one another. Gabriel had decided to travel the world, and offered Jo a place by his side. The two have been globe-trotting ever since.

"It was good that they found one another. Gabe was just…here, although his words of wisdom were incomparable," Michael says lightly. I can't help but agree.

Gabriel was always the one I turned to when shit went south. He never judged. He was just blunt and honest as fuck. If you couldn't take it, you shouldn't have asked. Whenever I think about it, I see him and Jo being perfect for one another. Ellen and Bobby both miss her, but they have Dad to deal with now, so they aren't too bitter.

"Well, I think it's about time that we get up and go have some fun with Sammy Boy," I pipe cheerfully, standing up. I offer Michael my hand, who takes it happily.

"Lead the way, Dean, lead the way…"

~D*C~

"Welcome, sir. What is the last name on the reservation?"

"Winchester."

"Ah, found it. Follow me, please."

The young woman smiles at me before leading me to a table far in the back, secluded from everyone else. I smile as I notice my date is already here.

"The waiter will be with you shortly," she whispers. I smile at her softly.

"Thank you," I say before walking soundlessly behind my companion for the night.

"Boo," I whisper playfully in his ear. He jumps, turning around to stare at me bewildered before glaring slightly.

"So not funny," he grumbles before quietly laughing. I just shake my head as I take my seat.

"So, let's get this date underway then," I chime happily. He nods, smiling softly.

"Dean Winchester," I say, holding out my hand for him to shake. He does so firmly.

"Castiel Novak. It's a pleasure to meet you, Dean."

We look at each other for a moment before busting into laughter.

"That was rich," I say. He just rolls his eyes at me before leaning across the table.

"Look, Dean. I'm so glad you invited me out tonight. It really means the world to me." I shrug lightly.

"It's the least I can do. You're not getting a gift from me, so…yeah," I say nonchalantly. He rolls his eyes yet again.

"Whatever."

Castiel and I have finally reached a point where we can talk again. It has taken a lot of time, but it is what it is.

About a month ago, he reached out to me on Facebook. At first, I was resistant, but as time went on, I became much more receptive to the idea of communication and reconciliation. One thing led to another, and here we are, having dinner in LA.

"So, how's the planning coming?" I ask idly. He sighs.

"I have advised him that I need a breather. I'm not the wedding-planning type, so I'm extremely overwhelmed," he says honestly.

I decide to ask him the question that he needs to answer but is afraid to.

"Is this what you really want?" He looks down for a moment.

I say nothing when he reaches across and grabs my hand, playing with it.

"This is what I really want, Dean. I want another chance. I want another shot at us. I know that you're probably thinking of all the ways to say 'hell no' right about now, and I understand that. But Samandriel…he's not you. I shouldn't have left you. I love you. I've learned to be honest with myself and others since I left those years ago. I put the engagement on hold and moved out on my own. We are still together, but our future is up in the air until I figure this out."

I can see the honesty in his eyes. Michael had told me about a year ago how different Castiel had become. Even looking at him now, I can see how much more human he is. He has an entirely different vibe to him now. But giving him another chance…that is gonna take some thought and some work. I've gotten over it now. Truth be told…

"I've forgiven you," I say, staring directly into his eyes. His gaze never leaves mine.

"I…don't know what to think or feel right now. I've lived my life without you for so long that I've gotten used to it. You definitely weren't the first to hurt me, and I'd be stupid to think you'd be the last. However, I'd prefer to not welcome disaster, Castiel. I can see that you've grown finally, but I've got to think about this."

I'd be lying if I said I didn't consider trying again with him these last five years. I do miss him, now that I've gotten all of that old shit out of the way. Even so, I haven't let myself truly delve into that because it is also part of that old shit unfortunately. I can't go back to putting bodies in the fucking closet. Part of moving on is moving forward, not in reverse.

"Tell me what's going on in that head of yours, Dean," he pleads gently, now having locked my fingers with his. I can't help but smile down fondly.

"I am going to level with you. I can't say yes, but I can't say no either. That doesn't matter at the moment, though. You've gotta decide what to do about Samandriel. I won't waste my time waiting for you. If you truly want to pursue what you really and truly want, then you have to learn how to take charge and go after it."

He nods stiffly before diving deep into thought. I turn my gaze towards the window, enjoying the beautiful view of the California night.

I've grown a lot in the past five years, letting go of a lot of anger and angst or what have you. With Castiel, I've gotten over everything and solidly moved on. Like I said earlier, I do miss his companionship sometimes. When we were good, we were good. When we sucked, though, we truly sucked. That being said, I am now grown enough to be consider any form of connection with him. I'm willing to be friends for sure. Anything else is gonna take a lot of work.

"Dean?"

I glance at him.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

I smile warmly. I'm not sure where to go from here, but for once, I'm letting life take the reins.

"Anytime. Now, let's order."

~D*C~

**Castiel's POV**

_Six months later…_

"You ready?"

I turn to the man beside me, taking a deep breath.

A lot has changed recently for me, and mostly for the good. I'm not sure how this is going to turn out, though, but with him by my side, I'm sure that I can make it.

After my trip to California, I had a lot of thinking to do. For over ten years, I had lived my life as a coward. I ran away from any form of commitment, and I let everyone else make my decisions for me. I may have gained a lot of knowledge, but I lost almost everything that was ever precious to me. Ten years, and I didn't even know my own happiness.

As we stand outside of these doors, I know that things are never going to be the same. I'm about to face all of the things that I've run away from all these years, and that scares the utter shit out of me. However, in order for me to go after the things that I truly want, this is what I must do.

Here we go…

"I'm ready," I say firmly.

He smiles warmly at me before pushing open the door and ushering us both inside…

"You must be Castiel. There's not need to look like a cat facing a bath. My name is Jessica, but you can call me Jess."

I smile shyly as I shake her hand.

"I sorry. This is…"

"A very hard step to take, but a good one. The man beside you knows all too well. Isn't that right, Dean?"

He chuckles deep in his throat, nodding while staring deep into my eyes.

"True story. Alrighty, Castiel, let's get this show on the road," he says playfully.

As we settle on the couch and begin chatting, I feel for the first time in my life that I am taking charge and doing what's right. I'm not sure where Dean and I will end up after this, but I am more than certain of one thing…

He'll be able to call me 'Cas' again.

**~D*C~**

**I have thoroughly enjoyed this journey with you guys. I really hope you have all enjoyed it with me. The ending ended up being a fairly happy one after all, huh? Let me know what you guys think! I hope that it satisfies you all ^-^**


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